Nice Catch
by PassionforTwilight
Summary: Bella Swan is in for the shock of her life during a casual conversation with her adorable five year old son. Set after New Moon. Alternate Universe. ExB.
1. Chapter 1

Title: **Nice Catch**

Rating: **T**

**Set After New Moon. Bella never jumped, and Edward never returned.**

**Summary:** Bella Swan is in for the shock of her life during a casual conversation with her adorable five year old son. Set after New Moon. ExB.

* * *

It started out like any other day...routine and comfortable. I was in a great mood as I drove Chris to his third week in kindergarten. The leaves were falling all around us, shades of vivid orange and yellow lined the sidewalks as we pulled up to the curb of the elementary school. It was definitely cool but not yet cold.

"Make sure to listen to your teacher and do everything you're supposed to," I said as I opened the car door and helped him from the back-seat onto the sidewalk.

His chocolate brown eyes peered up at me, and he gave me a breathtaking smile. He certainly inherited his dad's charm and unbelievably good looks.

"I know, mommy," he replied, reaching his arms out for a hug.

I bent down and pulled him to me, wrapping my arms around him and the backpack he wore. I felt his lips press a kiss to my cheek, and I pulled back to frame his perfect face in my hands before dotting kisses all over his forehead and nose.

He burst forth with chuckles, and I smiled.

"I love you!" He exclaimed before turning from me and running as fast as his little legs could carry him through the gates of the school entrance.

"I'll see you at three!" I called in his direction.

He immediately whipped around in my direction and shook his head up and down emphatically.

"K!" I barely heard him say as he was engulfed by about twenty classmates all ready to line up for class.

I climbed back into the car and sighed. My trip home was when the loneliness and guilt became the worst. I would drop him off for school and then be faced with the reality of my life. A failed marriage at twenty-seven, a single mother, and writing deadlines...lovely.

I drove back towards the house, hoping fervently that I'd get a lot of work done and actually make progress cleaning the house.

My thoughts wandered back to Chris. He seemed to be adjusting to our life without his father, but I constantly worried that he's just really good at hiding things. Kids are so resilient, and I wanted to make sure that I didn't let him suppress any real issues until they became huge mountains for us to overcome.

Chris makes every day worth it. He is simply the most amazing thing to ever happen to me, and it's hard not to be insane with joy in his presence. I married his father almost four years ago. We fell in love fast during our junior year in college. I was only twenty-one, and I couldn't believe how patient he was with me, understanding that although I was hesitant to share the pain from my past, I would work at trusting him and loving again. I had to if I was ever going to fix the hole in my chest.

I would have sworn to you that the love we shared was unbreakable. Nothing like the love I knew when I was only seventeen with _him_, but close, close enough that I closed my heart off to the little seeds of doubt and gave myself to Josh as much as I could. Everything was great at first.

We were a happy couple, and when we learned I was pregnant only eight months into our relationship, it hardly phased us. Marriage was already our plan, and we welcomed our little boy into the world with open arms and hearts. My parents were ecstatic. Charlie bought him a miniature Sheriff's hat the day I announced my pregnancy, and Renee couldn't stop about how she was finally ready to be a grandma.

But one winter day two years ago, everything changed. Josh came home early from his office, and I knew immediately that something wasn't right. He was distant, cold, and unusually short-tempered with our three year old baby boy. Only a week later, he moved out, barely finding it within himself to explain to me that an old college girlfriend moved back into town and wanted to give things another try with him.

He confessed that he'd never fully gotten over her and couldn't stand not trying once more.

He assured me he'd be there for Chris in every way and swore he had never felt worse in his life for the pain he knew he was causing me.

I told him to get out.

I was in shock for a good two weeks. Renee came to stay with me and Chris immediately when I told her what had happened. I waited for the pain to set in. At least this time I knew what it was going to feel like, but the pain never came. The hole in my chest never widened, and with a sad heart, I realized I hadn't loved him enough either. We were two broken people, and we weren't meant to be. It didn't help to lessen my anger at him.

I was scared to death for Chris' sake, but I knew in the end that if it wasn't meant to work out, it simply wasn't going to.

Once I arrived home, I made a beeline for the cozy home office I'd set up for myself. It usually helped me to clear my head of all the household chores waiting for me during a typical day and allowed me to focus on writing.

I've got a great job writing for a local entertainment magazine. It's convenient and creative enough that it stretches my writing abilities, while still being easy enough that I get to spend the majority of my time with Chris, only really needing to work during the hours that he's at school.

I got as much done as I could, running a few errands and working on a movie review before it was time to head back and pick Chris up from school.

I pulled into a parking spot in the assigned parent pick-up area and got out to head toward his classroom. I loved being outside the door when the bell rang. The kids usually scrambled out, all falling into the arms of waiting parents - some of which I don't think ever really leave the school grounds because they always seem to be there. And, I do mean always.

All of the sudden, the quiet of the campus was shattered by the screeches of kids everywhere, and I fell back a few steps as he threw himself at me, his arms wrapping around my thighs.

"Woah, buddy! Hey there," I said, leaning down to be eye to eye with him.

"Hi mom," he shot back, his smile genuine and relaxed.

"Ready to head home?" I asked as I ran my hand through his light brown hair and mentally pondered how one child could get so much sand in their hair during one day on the playground. He's all boy.

"Yup."

"Ok, and hey, I got your favorite hot dogs at the market today. What do you say we barbeque them this afternoon and watch the big baseball game together?" I asked, knowing exactly what his answer would be.

"YES!" He shouted as I loaded him into the car and strapped him in.

We were only half way home when he excitedly started in on a story from school. It was his regular routine. He'd spend a few quiet minutes mentally rehashing the day to himself before settling on the most exciting part to tell me.

"Oh, mommy, today I almost fell off the monkey bars," he stated calmly, like it was no big deal.

I felt my heart stop. Those monkey bars are huge and extremely tall, and under no circumstances should my more than a little clumsy five year old be anywhere near them!

"What!" I replied, trying to sound less horrified than I really was, but failing miserably.

"I'm ok," he shot back with a smile as I glanced in the rear view mirror to see that, in fact, he was bruise free and seemed fine. I hadn't noticed any scrapes or bandages when I picked him up, but I was still concerned.

"So what happened?" I prodded.

"Well, Andrew and Jance wanted to climb up on them even though they are only for third graders and up..." he began, and I could tell he paused, waiting for me to get angry.

"Un huh..." I prodded, not wanting him to weasel out of the actual story.

"So, I went with them cause the teacher wasn't really watching us. She was drinking her coffzee," he continued, and I smiled at his pronunciation.

"Oh, I see," I supplied casually.

"I climbed up second, and Andrew made it all the way across them. His arms are really strong."

"Right."

"But I was kinda scared, and Jance told me to just crawl on top of them to the other side so I started to do that but..." his little voice trailed off, and I glanced nervously at him in the mirror.

"What happened, Chris?"

"Ummm, Mrs. Pittman blew her whistle really loud! I thought I was in big trouble. I looked up to see her, and I guess I fell through the bars," he said.

"So, you did fall down?" I asked, growing absolutely furious at the school for neglecting to tell me about something so serious. Head injuries can be completely undetectable for hours after an incident like the one he described. At the very least, I was sure I'd find serious bruises when I got him home and checked his back and arms.

"Nope, this really nice guy caught me," he stated matter of factly.

"What?" I asked, completely confused.

"I thought you said your teacher was across the yard. Was the guy a parent - someone else's daddy?" I asked.

"No. I've never seen him before. He just showed up to catch me."

His simplistic tone and carefree attitude stunned me.

I tried to remain calm. So, a nice man just happened to get to the monkey bars in time to catch my falling child. That could happen...

I felt myself begin to shake despite my efforts. I felt my head and heart heading in a direction I hadn't allowed in years. I had so many questions I needed to ask my son, but I couldn't make my mouth work. I slowly edged the car over to the side of the road before I cut the engine.

Chris seemed to interpret me stopping the car as a sign that I was truly angry, because he continued to talk without any prompting.

I barely heard him, though. My mind was running in a million different directions. Surely, I was jumping to conclusions. It couldn't be possible. It couldn't be. _He_ wouldn't. It's been almost nine years. There's no way he cares now. No way.

"He just smiled at me and set me down. I said hi, and he kinda laughed. He was really nice, though. Mommy, he had pretty hair." His words broke through the thick haze and ringing sound threatening to overpower my senses.

"He smiled at me really big."

That's when I lost it. Silent tears fell from my eyes, and I tried not to let Chris hear me as a choking sob fought to be released. It was Edward. It had to be _him, _but why was in town? And, how did he know my baby needed help?

"Mommy, I'm so sorry. I won't break the rules again. He made me promise, too," my angel begged from the back-seat.

I wiped at my tears and focused on him.

"What did he make you promise, Chris?" I asked, trying not to let my voice break as I spoke.

I was desperate to hear what this supposed stranger said to my child.

Chris only hesitated for a few seconds.

"He just said, 'Promise me you'll be careful, spider monkey'," Chris finished with a giggle at his new nickname.

And then, despite the hot tears continuing to stream down my face, I felt myself laugh lightly because I knew for certain. It was obvious that the one true love of my life reached out to protect me once again. He just didn't have to see me to do it.


	2. Chapter 2

It was so hard for me to keep up any sense or normalcy for the rest of the afternoon. I'm not even sure how I managed to make the decision to get us the rest of the way home, but suddenly I was pulling back onto the highway. Then, I was watching Chris as he bounded up the front walk. He shot me a puzzled expression as I all but zombie-walked to the front door to unlock it for him.

"Turtle passed ya," he teased, referring to my pace as he dropped his backpack not even two steps in the door before racing for the chocolate chip cookies that have become an after school tradition.

I took some comfort in the routine of our afternoon together while I proceeded to emotionally unravel inside.

It was only a few minutes before I noticed Chris scoot a chair closer to the kitchen table, proudly waving a piece of lined paper with little blue houses at the beginning of each line. Apparently, it was time to practice his "Letters of the Day."

"Five times each, baby," I mumbled, glancing at the school newsletter hanging from the refrigerator door with detailed homework instructions for every night of the week. I went and sat next to him, chiding myself for glancing out the back slider door as my eyes searched the perimeter of our yard.

What did I expect to see?

Or, who...I couldn't go there. It was too painful, too incredible.

"Got it," he replied happily as his little fingers gripped the pencil. He started humming something about starting in the attic and not dropping into the basement as he wrote.

A million thoughts raced through my mind simultaneously. Yes, I was only living about thirty minutes east of Forks, in a nice town that Josh and I enjoyed house-hunting in until we settled on our first home, but even if _he_ and his family ventured back to Forks for some reason, why would he come here?

I wondered if Edward...God, I lost my breath just thinking his name, had been around before? I mean, I know time to them is a completely different matter altogether, and nine years probably wasn't much of a fleck on their radars, but why would he bother to drop in on me now?

_Has he been watching Chris grow up?_

_Does he know about Josh?_

_Did he see me marry?_

_Is he happy?_

_No, is he okay?_

But one question seemed the most pressing, "Why?"

I snapped my attention back to my son and felt guilty as I noticed he was already on the third line.

"Don't press so hard, sweetie. You'll tear the paper," I offered, noticing the little smudges from his fingers where he'd tried to smooth out the little ripples from the pencil's sharp edge.

"Ugh," he sighed, his way of acknowledging that I was right, and he'd heard it before.

"I hated R's too," I whispered, smiling despite everything when I saw him bite his lower lip - something both he and his father do when they are really concentrating.

As I watched him continue to work, I made a decision. I had to get through this evening intact, but once I put Chris to bed, I could really dissect what was going on. I would allow myself to feel it all. Later. But not now.

I had hot dogs to barbecue and a bath to give. There were bedtime stories to read and a lunch to pack. My son didn't need to witness my teenage heartbreak rear its ugly head and proudly take me under for the millionth time.

I took a deep breath and helped Chris draw lower-case "r's" all over the rest of his paper. We only tore the paper six times.

"These are better than the real baseball stadium ones!" Chris exclaimed sweetly as mustard fell from his mouth to his white polo shirt.

We were sitting in the family room, spread out on a big blanket in front of the TV as I'd promised. I reached my hand out for a high-five, and he didn't miss a beat in slapping his against mine with a hoot.

"I'm glad you like 'em."

"Oh, yeah!"

I smiled as he continued studying the game. I couldn't keep my mind from wandering. I pictured Edward's piercing eyes and his unbelievably intense expressions. One thing I always truly loved about him was his crooked grin, smirk, smile...Heaven. I imagined him sitting there with us, explaining the game to my son and smiling until it reached his eyes. I tried to picture what Chris would like in his arms.

_Why hasn't he come to see me if he decided to check on Chris? Is he scared?_

"Okay, buddy. How about a bath during the seventh inning stretch?" I asked, needing to stop my pondering before it took over.

"Noo."

"It's almost bedtime, and we're running late," I continued as I noticed his eyelids start to droop as he lay on his stomach, his chin perched in his hands.

"What if I miss a homer?"

I laughed lightly despite myself.

"We'll check the score before we turn in for the night."

"Okay," he sighed, not exactly thrilled to leave our cozy camp-out, but also too tired to put up much of a fight.

After he was bathed and dressed for bed in some warm sweats and a long sleeved thermal, I set him loose to check the game and grab a cup of water. In the meantime, I changed into some sweats of my own and pulled on my favorite Uggs before donning a black sweatshirt. I found myself preparing for my night time chores even though cleaning and organizing was the last thing on my mind.

Just as I exited my bedroom, Chris nearly sleepwalked through his doorway, cup in hand, heading straight for his bed. _That's my boy._ When he decides he's beat, nothing can stop the kid from sleeping. He's been known to get his blanket, lay it down in the middle of a crowded room, and go to bed. Christmas Eve didn't even stand a chance when he decided he'd had enough.

I followed him in, stopping to turn off his bedroom lamp.

"Night-light, right?" He mumbled from under his blankets.

"Of course," I replied a second before my fingers flipped the little switch, casting a warm blue haze through the room.

"Thanks, Momma." That time, the words were barely audible as I made my way to his bed.

I sat down at his side and leaned over to kiss his forehead. Putting him to bed was always a favorite for me. The smell of his shampoo and skin made my heart contract with love and devotion. It was always a very peaceful and intimate moment.

His eyelids opened with much effort, and he smiled.

"Night. Baseball dreams," he whispered.

I laughed.

"Night, buddy. Sweet dreams to you, too. I love you."

With that, he was pretty much out. I left quietly, closing the door only partially before heading down the hallway, intent on cleaning up the mess from our hot-dogs waiting for me in the kitchen.

I made it exactly two steps passed the front door on my way to the sink before I absolutely lost it. I guess I'd been on autopilot all afternoon, because before I realized I'd made the decision to go outside, I'd thrown the front door open and was jogging down the pathway, my boot-clad feet virtually silent as I made my way toward the street.

Where was I going? What was I going to do? I had no idea. Clearly, I was acting before even processing a thought.

I stopped as I reached the curb, my eyes adjusting to the near pitch black night, with a new moon not helping my plight at all.

Some part of me just knew he was out there. I refused to believe he'd do something which would undoubtedly result in me knowing he was around only to leave again. It would torture me. He wouldn't do that.

"Please," I heard myself beg in a whisper, my voice sounding broken but strong at the same time.

I whipped around as a cat ran from under my neighbor's truck.

I heard someone rolling their trash cans out for pick-up the next day.

Mrs. Hausman was yelling for the family dog to stop barking.

Sprinklers.

"I know you're out here," I spoke, barely louder than my previous plea.

Nothing.

"Please."

Crickets...wind.

"I'm begging you."

Nothing.

"I'll do anything," I was so desperate.

I could feel my heart threatening to break free of my chest. I glanced back at the house, making sure the front door was still wide open. It wouldn't be good if I locked myself out and had to wake Chris up to let me back in.

"Are you still here?" I continued talking to myself, driven by some deep rooted need to address him, thank him, scream at him for so much. I had so much to say. So much to feel.

"Just let me look at you!" I started to become hysterical. I briefly wondered what any of my neighbors might think if they witnessed any of my behavior.

"You don't have to talk to me. Just please let me see your face."

So I can remember what love looks like, I silently added.

Leaves rustling.

A car alarm beeping.

Silence.

"Thank you," I cried quietly, surprised to feel hot tears roll down my cheeks only because I hadn't even felt them welling up. I twisted my hands in front of me before running them over my face.

"Edward, thank you," I repeated.

_Thank you for keeping him safe for me. Thank you for protecting him. He's everything to me. _

Nothing.

"It never got easier," I offered, not sure exactly what I was referring to. Maybe the pain of losing him. Maybe accepting that he didn't love me enough to stay after all.

A breeze made me shiver. I sighed pitifully.

I wrapped my arms tightly around myself and dropped my head in resignation. Devastated, I turned to make my way back inside.

But then, I saw it. A flash of porcelain white caught my eye, screaming out like a beacon as he took a tiny step out from behind a tree almost fifty yards away stole my breath.

_Oh my God._

Through the distance, I found his eyes immediately, and I gasped.

Perfection.

Fire shot through my body. Electricity unlike anything I've ever experienced in my life catapulted my body, and before I could take a breath, I (clumsy and awkward Bella Swan) was sprinting toward him without a stumble or misstep. It seemed as though even God Himself wasn't willing to keep us apart one second longer.

I was almost sure he'd disappear, run from me, but I was wrong. So wrong. He stood there, looking scared to death for a second before he was walking toward me.

I felt a sob rip through me at the impact just as his arms grabbed me, wrapping so tenderly around me so tightly that I struggled to gasp in his embrace. His cold face buried itself in my neck, and I felt my legs give out, his arms flawlessly catching me and pulling me closer.

I heard him moan. I heard him groan in complete and utter surrender.

I clutched every bit of him I could get my hands on.

And then, he spoke.

"He's perfect," he whispered in my ear, and I desperately clung to him. My hands automatically slid into his hair as I pulled back to look into his eyes. He winced at the contact, his eyes shutting reflexively for a moment, and I marveled as his head tilted to the side, craving more caresses.

His eyes shot open and bore into mine. I stopped, my breath caught in my throat as I started speechlessly at him.

"Just like his mom," he cried, tears nowhere to be seen because they're impossible for him, but that didn't mean I couldn't hear them.

"Edward," I breathed, and even though it was only his name, _his_ legs - the strongest legs anyone could imagine - gave out, and he gracefully sank to the ground with me protectively in his lap.


	3. Chapter 3

It was all that I could do to continue pulling air into my lungs. Every breath that I took provided me with more of his scent, more of his essence, and more of the drug that is Edward. I didn't know what to say, and I wasn't even sure my voice would work if I tried.

The breeze picked up, and I shivered as it carried with it drops of water from some sprinklers running a few houses down.

He didn't seem to notice. As I held him tightly, my face found its way to his neck where I closed my eyes and tightened my hold on him.

Edward's hands were everywhere. They slid up and down my back. They ran from my shoulders down my arms, over the tops of my thighs, before burying themselves in my hair. Everything about his touch was different than I remembered. The chaste and almost reluctant caresses of our past were nothing but a memory compared to his urgent yet reverent hands as they ghosted over me. He moved my head slowly away from the crook of his neck and leveled his eyes on me.

I gasped as I stared into their golden depths. They were practically glowing, and it was hard for me to imagine any human being ever accepting them as normal. They practically shouted his beautiful secret.

"Bella," he whispered achingly, and I shuddered as his voice hit every piece of me that had been empty since he left me in the forest so many years ago.

As he spoke my name, I noticed his hands tighten momentarily as if to reaffirm that I was really in his grasp. He seemed unwilling to look away from me for even a second, and I felt compelled to answer him in some way.

The dam was beginning to break.

I swallowed and braced myself.

"Hi," I managed, and I marveled at the breathtaking smile that bit at the corner of his mouth before disappearing altogether.

Nearly a decade without the man, and I welcomed him back into my life with 'Hi.'

I couldn't help my own smile when I realized what he'd most likely found amusing. I also realized that we were still sitting in the street; I was half on Edward's lap, and his face was slowly sliding down my neck as he breathed me in.

"Come with me," I spoke, surprising myself with the confidence in my voice. A thousand thoughts were running through my mind, but at the forefront was our precarious location and the fact that my front door was wide open as Chris hopefully slept, unaware of the fact that his mother's life had just turned upside down.

Edward stilled, and I gasped when his cold fingers moved over my cheek as he tenderly cupped my face with his right hand.

"I don't know, Bella," he answered, his face contorting in pain before he pulled his bottom lip between his stunningly white teeth and bit it uncertainly.

My mind went mad with desire to sooth his uncomfortable state. It didn't matter how much he'd hurt me in the past; I couldn't stand seeing him upset in any way.

I tried to suppress the panic I felt beginning to spread at the thought that he wasn't sure about spending even a few more minutes with me.

How could he leave after what just happened?

"Edward," I began, hoping to reason with him, but as soon as his name left my lips, he stood, securely holding me in his strong arms.

I wasn't afraid at all. I couldn't be as he cradled me and quickly walked us to the front porch before setting me down and watching me carefully.

Shock had to have been visible all over my face as the recessed lighting Josh had so painstakingly installed over our front porch seemed to light Edward from every angle. I stared at him, willing my mind to memorize every single piece of his flawless magic. He was right all those years back. Human memories do fade, and even though I thought of him consistently throughout the years, there was no way I recalled this much beauty. It was too much to catalogue.

His hair all but sparkled as its chocolate brown and bronze highlights screamed to be grasped. My fingers ached to run through his unruly locks, but I forced my eyes downward over his perfectly pale face. I was convinced that the vivid color of his skin offsets his eyes perfectly, making them even more profound and remarkable.

Before I could truly appreciate the rest of him, he stepped through my front door and reached his hand out, beckoning me to follow suit.

Wordlessly, I walked to him, and we both stopped in the entryway of my home and stared at each other.

"God, Bella. It smells so good in here," he breathed, and I found myself sighing in relief even though he looked shocked at his blatant confession. We both knew he wasn't referring to the leftover smell of dinner, or scented candles, or even the old lavender plug-in still sitting in an outlet in the family room. He smelled me, and it must have been overwhelming for him because he suddenly looked ravenous.

"Is it too much for you?" I asked gently, more than willing to move into the backyard if he so much as hinted at the need for relief of any kind.

His eyes shot to mine.

"No."

The sight of him standing in my house was almost too much for me. I would be lying if I said I never dreamt of a scenario similar to the one I was experiencing, but the dreams were never so profound. They never made me feel alive with energy and love. I have imagined him returning to me during the happiest points in my life, as well as during the more miserable ones. Regardless of the circumstances, his presence was always calming, and I realized with a sad smile that he was truly comfort for me. Comfort that would most likely leave me again.

I slowly took note of his appearance when a deep sigh came from his lips. He was wearing black jeans, a black t-shirt, and a dark gray coat which were all undeniably perfect on him.

I frowned, though as I took in the dark shadows under his eyes; they seemed significantly darker than how I remembered them.

"Will you sit down with me?" I gestured to the family room, and I thought I caught a smile as Edward no doubt saw the remnants of the indoor camp-out.

As quickly as the smile appeared, it was gone, and he suddenly looked terrified. He rocked back on his feet, and I felt the familiar dread take root in the pit of my stomach when he just continued to stare at me.

"Just to talk," I pleaded.

Edward watched me carefully.

I silently prayed, vowing to do anything in return for a few more minutes, just a few more, and then maybe forever.

"It's just...you don't owe me anything, Bella. If you think you have to invite me in because of what happened earlier, it's not necessary at all," he finally explained.

So, that's what was holding him back? He thought I wanted to talk because he kept Chris from falling? He thought I felt obligated? He's insane and so am I.

"It's so perfect in here. I just don't want to ruin anything, any of it," he finished, his eyes so painful to look into that I caught my breath for the millionth time that night, because despite his words, I saw the desire to stay in them. He was lying, and it was obvious.

The more I thought about his words, I began to realize what he'd really meant by them. He and I both knew he wasn't going to _physically_ hurt anything. That's not the hurt he meant.

He thought his presence, and the painful memories that surrounded him, would mar the life I'd built. As I continued to watch him, I reveled in the knowledge that he couldn't bring back any pain; he could only lessen it. The pain never really left, so the fact that he'd suddenly shown up didn't mean that it suddenly became anymore real or profound. It only meant that there was a greater chance at understanding and healing.

"You won't," I finally added.

I thought I saw him grimace.

He needed time. I could see that he was overwhelmed. I was terrified to leave his side for a second, fearing that he would run away, but I also knew that I had to allow him to come to grips with the fact that he was standing in my house.

I would leave him alone if it would help him.

"Okay, well I'm just going to go check on Chris, make sure he's still asleep. Make yourself comfortable, and I'll be right back."

Edward studied me carefully with such emotion in his eyes that I found it difficult to remember which way the bedrooms were.

I started to turn toward the hallway when his voice reached me.

"He's sound asleep, Bella. He's very calm." His voice was soft and assuring.

I stared at him in wonder. Of course, he could hear my child's heartbeat and breaths despite the fact that he was at the end of the hallway more than three rooms away from us. He could probably even hear his dreams.

"Right," I replied, amazed at how no amount of time could erase the unspoken truths and understanding between us. I knew of his abilities, but part of me wondered if I truly grasped even a small portion of what those abilities really mean to the man who lives with their reality every day and night of his existence.

"I would still like to see him with you, though," Edward choked out, and I couldn't believe the rush of emotion that consumed me at his words.

Such honesty and raw feeling captivated me.

I snapped. I closed the distance between us in four quick steps, all but hurling my body at him. Edward was unbelievably strong, and the impact of my body would have had absolutely no effect on him if not for the fact that he allowed it to.

He stumbled back a few steps before his back was met with the wall of the foyer.

I threw my arms around him. Gone were the innocent and unsure embraces of my youth. Gone was any pretense that he was not my reason for drawing breath at that very moment. Gone was the past. All that existed for me was his body and his heart, which I desperately wanted to soothe. I guess it was the mother in me. Since Chris, I knew how to love in a way that I never even knew existed. I knew what it felt like to realize that you heart is not your own anymore; to fully comprehend that your existence, and the quality of your life, hinges irrevocably on the well-being of another individual.

I was able to more fully grasp what Edward was feeling when he swore that he would do what he thought was best for me, regardless of the consequences. I better understood that fervor; I know what it's like to accept that your own heart beats outside of your body.

If any of those feelings are similar to what Edward experienced when he was with me, then I could not even begin to imagine the depth of his pain in leaving. He truly believed that leaving me to live a "normal" life was the best way to protect me, and in doing so, he gave up himself.

"Please," he begged, his breath fanning over the shell of my ear, and I shivered.

"Yes."

I pulled back from him and started down the softly lit hallway.

Edward was right behind me as I reached out and lightly pushed the bedroom door open. The light from the hallway fell into his room, and I heard Edward suck in a quick breath when it illuminated Chris' bed.

He was lying on his side, his brown teddy bear clutched protectively in his arms. His eyelids fluttered as he dreamt, and his gorgeous eyelashes cast a vivid shadow on his perfect cheeks.

I felt Edward move closer as his hands came to rest lightly on my hips as he stared at my son from behind me. I tried to keep my heartbeat steady at the intimate feel of his cool body pressed against my back.

"Closer," he whispered so quietly that I almost thought I imagined it, but then I felt him bend his knee gently against the back of mine, urging my legs to take a step toward the bed.

I moved so that we were only a couple of feet from Chris, and I bent down to gently pull the comforter up his body. Chris shifted his hand over the bear before clutching it tightly and relaxing his hold as he fell deeper into sleep.

"His eyes are exactly like yours. Today, I couldn't believe it. It was like I was staring right at you."

I felt his arms slowly snake around my waist before he wrapped them fully around me, pulling my body flush against him.

I stifled a groan at the fire that shot through me.

"How many times, Edward?" I begged, suddenly wild with the desire to know everything.

He was silent for a moment as he held onto me.

Maybe he didn't understand what I meant.

"How many times have you been here?"

Nothing.

I felt my frustration growing. The overwhelming events of the day began to take their toll, and the hysteria from the hours leading up to his appearance outside suddenly exhausted me.

"Why did you do it? Why did you come back now?" I quietly cried, trying desperately to keep my voice as hushed as possible as we continued to stand in the middle of my son's bedroom.

I felt Edward stop breathing, and I braced myself for whatever was about to be told.

And then, he spoke, shattering my world and setting my heart on fire...

"I never _really_ left you, Bella."


	4. Chapter 4

The ringing in my ears as I heard him was overwhelming. The message was clear enough, but I could not begin to assign meaning to what he had said. He never left. That was simply impossible.

There was no way he sat idly by, watching me as I suffered that first year. I was besides myself with grief. He could not have witnessed that, or even have cared to, if he had chosen to leave in the first place. There was no logical reason for subjecting himself to that when it was the reality he chose.

"Out. Now." I choked as I turned around and fled Chris' bedroom.

I had so much to say, and I was fearful that I would soon be speaking at a volume much higher than the hushed whispers our current setting required.

Edward obeyed. I closed the door behind us, and soon we were walking down the hallway toward my bedroom. His nervous sigh, and the way he ran his hands through his hair did not escape me. He remained silent after that, his strong hands clenched into fists at his sides.

"What do you mean you never left!" I asked as I closed the door behind us.

He watched me carefully, his eyes burning with a mix of desire and agony.

"Bella,"

"Edward, what did you mean?"

I felt and saw waves of torture emanating from him. The internal battle he was fighting must have been immense because signs of it registered on his face and body, despite the generally stoic mask that belongs to his kind.

"Exactly what I said." He replied quietly, his lips pursing together in what looked like an attempt to quell cries.

I felt myself begin to tear up. Part of me was horrified at the notion that he had been so close the entire time, and part of me was breaking because he was sobbing now, and I wanted nothing more than to hold him forever and promise to never let him hurt again.

"No, Edward. Don't be ridiculous. You expect me to believe you've been shadowing me the last nine years, and I never noticed?"

"I made sure you didn't," he whispered, and I felt my knees began to tremble.

That just could not be.

"Your family would not allow that," I spoke, trying to reassure myself.

"They would not let you do that to yourself." I was desperate to convince myself that the Cullens would protect him better than that.

"They had and have no choice." He stated simply, no malice in his tone, but complete conviction evident.

An overwhelming sense of guilt washed over as I let his claim sink in. Immense grief at the thought that he witnessed my life over the years blinded me, because it would have appeared very perfect to him. I instantly wondered what his perception of all of it was. He made it sound like he thought I was completely happy. So wrong.

"I don't understand."

He nodded slightly and cleared his throat before speaking.

"Carlisle and Esme fell in love with a house in Oregon when we went searching after...after your birthday. It's in Eugene, actually. It was so similar to our house in Forks, and it worked because I was able to come back as often as I wanted," he began. He avoided eye contact while he spoke. I got the impression that it was easier for him to share if he didn't have to see my reactions. It seemed like once he opened the floodgates, there was no stopping him, because he sat slowly on the edge of my bed and continued without pause.

"At first, I came back every couple of weeks to make sure you were okay. I was a disaster. I was not able to be around anyone, so it was easier for me to be near you at least. I know it wasn't easy for you either, Bella. Believe me, I saw you with my own eyes. I felt the pain, but you were doing it. You were getting better every time I checked."

I wanted so badly to argue with him. I wanted to scream and shake him until he understood how wrong he was. How much I lied. How much I pretended, so that Charlie wouldn't worry. How often I wanted nothing more than to run away and search for him until I wasn't able to take another step. It didn't get a little better for me every day. I just grew more broken and resigned to living with the pain. I just made myself look and act healed. I made myself forget, but I remembered everything.

"And then, you started hanging out with him."

So, there we were.

"Edward," I began, unsure of what I wanted to say, but feeling the need to somehow justify my past with Jacob Black.

"I was furious. I almost interrupted the two of you numerous times. They are so volatile and dangerous, especially at such an immature age," he trailed off momentarily, and I saw the shudders that ran through his body.

"But, I could _hear_ him. He could never live with himself if he hurt you. I trusted him."

"And when Laurent and Victoria came back for me?" I forced myself to ask him, because I knew this was the most pivotal moment in my past when I wished for nothing more than Edward's return, not only for safety, but because they both shared about revenge and the unbreakable bond between mates. Somewhere deep inside, despite the doubt, I knew I was Edward's mate. His abandonment never made sense.

He visibly shook in front of me.

He shuddered once more before taking a deep breath.

"I stood in the forest, watching Jacob and the pack defend you. It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, Bella. I wanted nothing more than to storm into the meadow and rip her head off myself, but Jacob took care of it, and I was thankful."

"You were there?"

"Yes, Bella."

"I can't believe it."

"Please, don't hate me for it," he begged.

"I had been hunting Victoria, and I chased her all the way back to Forks. I had to get rid of her, and she was dead-set on getting to you. I heard the pack as we ran through the woods, and I tried as hard as I could to lead her right to Jacob."

"That's why she looked so stunned," I mumbled, slightly overwhelmed by all of this new information. Suddenly, a lot of things made sense, and I felt a nagging deep inside my heart that I could not pinpoint.

My attention shifted as I caught a glimpse of a smile on Edward's lips when he recalled the moment I was referring to.

"She was dumbfounded," he affirmed.

"After that, I knew you were guaranteed as much safety as possible after all the trouble I caused."

I nodded, well aware that the tears which were once a threat were now freely pouring down my face.

"I've been back regularly since then." He finished.

I began to sob quietly, crippled by the pain and regret which came from knowing he was so close all that time.

"Please, don't cry," he implored. His voice shook, and his hand reached to where I stood for a second before he dropped it back to his lap.

His plea had the opposite effect on me. The utter tenderness, and the tone of his voice took me right back to seventeen years old. My crying grew more intense.

"God, Bella, please don't."

"Why did it matter so much, though?" I had to ask before I became anymore hysterical.

Edward looked completely confused, and I tried to get myself together before continuing to explain. While he had begun to answer some of my questions, there were so many new ones lining up that it felt like we hadn't even made a dent.

"Why come back so often if you didn't want to be with me anymore in the first place? If it was just to make sure Victoria and Laurent were not a threat, you could have stopped after they were gone."

"No."

He was serious. His eyes burned. His fists were balled again.

"Why not?"

I held my breath, unwilling to miss a syllable that he spoke. His eyes closed, and a quiet groan escaped him.

"Because, I thought that if I left you, I would learn to love you in a different way. I thought I would love the memory of us, and be happy that you were living your human life happily," he spoke so confidently, and I sucked in a breath when he paused and opened his eyes.

He stared into mine, and it was such a strong and meaningful gaze that I would have sworn he could hear my thoughts even though I knew better.

"I knew it would hurt forever, because I would never find another to love. You are it for me, Bella. But, I thought I would be strong enough to want normalcy for you. I thought I would be _good_ enough to leave you alone."

I never made the decision to walk closer to him, but somehow, there I was. I knelt in front of him as he continued to sit on the edge of the bed. I sat back calmly and folded my hands in my lap to keep from reaching out and touching him. I wasn't sure if any contact was wanted at that point. He seemed to be teetering on the edge of control.

"I've never been more wrong in all my years," he finally conceded, a heartbreaking look of defeat smeared all over his perfect face.

"No, Edward. Don't say that." I cried freely now.

"What?"

"That you're not good enough. Don't ever say that again. You are the best thing that ever happened to me."

He winced again at my words, and I felt a fire begin in my belly, spreading up to my heart with lightning speed.

"I'm the worst thing that ever happened to you, Bella!"

"No," I practically shouted.

"Yes," he growled.

He can be so frustrating.

"Then, tell me something, Edward. If what we had wasn't good, if it wasn't right and meaningful and true, then why did it always feel like this when I was with you?"

I motioned frantically between our bodies.

"Because, it did! It always felt like this. It's like there's something so much greater than either one of us that just exists when we're together. It's real. I can't begin to describe it and do it justice, Edward, but it's there. It was back the instant I saw you outside, like it never left, because it didn't."

He was quiet.

"But eventually, I had to accept that I was alone in that feeling. That was the only way I could really accept you're leaving," I whispered brokenly.

"Bella," he began and then trailed off.

I waited.

"You were never alone," he whispered.

I held my breath.

"Never."

With that, I gave in to the most powerful desire coursing through me. I scrambled up and onto his lap for the second time that night. Edward was there for me, wrapping his arms securely around me as his face sought the crook of my neck once again.

"What the hell were you thinking?" I cried brokenly into his ear, my voice so soft.

His hands cupped my cheeks and gently directed my stare. I felt his cool thumbs brush the tears from my cheeks, and his lips filled my vision before he pressed a lingering and loving kiss to my forehead.

"I don't know, Bella. I don't know anymore. None of it seems worth a damn with you in my arms like this."

I nodded, still confused and overwhelmed but thankful that he was being real.

"You're really stubborn." I gasped, and my eyes widened when I realized what I'd said. It was true, but I was sorry for the bluntness.

Edward smirked sadly and moved his right hand to rest on my chest, just over my heart, exactly where he had almost ten years ago.

"Tell me about it."

I smiled softly and rested my head on his shoulder. I was suddenly exhausted, and I just needed to close my eyes for a minute and try to process. Edward's hand stayed pressed between us, pressed flat against my beating heart.


	5. Chapter 5

I felt myself crossing the line into a light sleep, where sounds don't make as much sense, and you struggle to finish a thought. I fought with myself. I wanted so badly to surrender, but I was terrified that he wouldn't be there when I woke. Everything felt fragile and exposed. The nearly insurmountable events and facts that we had to discuss was nagging me, but I couldn't seem to concentrate on anything other than the fact that he was actually sitting on my bed and holding me. Reluctantly, I pulled back from his embrace and studied him. The dim light from a lamp on my dresser cast such warmth over him, and the shadow of his strong jaw which he was nervously clenching was entrancing. Once again, I found myself in awe of him. My emotions were battling for attention, and my stomach was in constant turmoil with butterflies and nerves that seemed like a constant sensation by then.

As the seconds ticked by, I felt the first flickers of anger stirring. I knew I was just starting a roller coaster of emotion when it came to everything Edward, but as the shock and happiness wore off, I was frustrated. All I could think of was time lost. Time wasted. Time that hurt.

Edward was completely still, watching me closely but looking scared to speak.

I took a deep breath, suddenly feeling desperate to hear what was going on in his head.

"Are you okay?" I asked, mostly because I knew that neither of us were.

"I, I don't know," he replied, his voice trembling slightly with emotion.

I took another deep breath.

"Okay, well just try and tell me what you're thinking," I offered with a small smile as I moved to sit next to him.

I sat gingerly on the mattress, watching in fascination as he started to move his right hand toward me, then pulled it back as if he'd been burned.

I turned to stare at him questioningly, and he gave me a sad smirk before dropping his head to stare at his hands.

Very slowly, he ran his hands over his thighs, back and forth, before resting them with fingers spread over his knees.

When he started speaking, I was captivated by the precise words and limited feeling that he allowed in his tone.

"About a year after you were married, Alice had a vision."

I was slightly confused as to why he would start with that. We hadn't discussed my relationship with Josh at all, yet he was skipping to a year into my marriage for some reason. I had so many questions about the time immediately after the confrontation with Victoria, the time I spent with Jacob, my first years away at school, but he seemed intent on getting to something so I waited anxiously to understand why.

He seemed pained. His breaths were growing quicker, and his nostrils flared slightly. It was kind of adorable.

"She saw Josh," he began, visibly having trouble venomously spitting out the name of my ex-husband, "with a redheaded woman, looking...well, more than platonic," he continued gently, before turning to look into my eyes, pleading with me to understand so that he was not forced to explain in detail.

I sucked in a breath, but tried my best to nod at him encouragingly. I could handle this. It was old news. I actually healed from that one. I didn't have to pretend.

"His high school ex, the woman he left me for," I offered.

"Obviously," Edward sneered.

A second passed.

I must have looked taken aback. I was.

"I'm sorry. That was rude. I just, I'm sorry. I'll continue," he mumbled uncomfortably.

The display of emotions on his face was unnerving. I suppose I grew accustomed to Edward being somewhat stoic when it came to allowing such a vivid show of his feelings as they're actually occurring. When I was younger, he was open and communicative about his feelings, sharing with me the most personal depths of his heart, but he chose carefully what he divulged. I was struck as I watched him in the present, confused as to why he seemed incapable of controlling much at all. If he experienced anger, I saw it. If he was hurting, the pain practically had a meter reading on his face. I realized I was willing to do anything to bring him peace.

"It's alright, Edward. Keep going," I encouraged him as best I could by patting his leg chastely before returning my gaze to the side of his face as he stared straight ahead.

"Yes. Well, regardless of who _she_ was; she wasn't you, and that's all I needed to know. When Alice told me about it while I was visiting home, I was...enraged to say the least. I wanted him dead, Bella."

I nodded again; me too at the time.

Edward saw my slight nod from the corner of his eye, and his lips twitched upwards before his eyes shifted down to where my legs dangled from the bed and his rested, crossed at the ankles, in front of us.

"I told everyone I was leaving again, to come back and check on you, but Alice saw right through me. She knew I intended to pay an adulterous someone a very special visit. She demanded I wait and think it over. She begged me to think about Chris."

At the mention of his name, Edward's voice softened, and the fire burning in his eyes diffused slightly. Blissfully, the perfect light gold color returned. It didn't stay for long.

"But at that point, Josh hadn't left yet. Alice's vision was still a ways from coming to fruition, right?" I asked, even though I was fairly certain of the answer.

Edward looked nauseous.

"Right. The baby was only six months old." He practically shook as he spoke.

I recognized the emotion I saw then. Crazed rage.

"I _knew _what he was going to do, Bella. And, I had to just let it happen. I have never been so furious and helpless in all my time," he whispered.

_Agony. _

He was wringing his hands with nervous tension in his lap. Powerful waves of hostility and furry rolled off of him.

"Go on," I begged.

He didn't for quite a while, seemingly gathering every bit of tranquility that he could.

"As far as I was concerned, your husband was the luckiest man on this earth, and he was going to willingly throw it all away. That made him not only the biggest fool but also completely unworthy of one more minute with you. There was no excuse, or any reason that I could possibly accept as valid, for his choice."

_Regret._

My heart was aching with his words, but I wanted him to continue. I was not wiling to stop Edward from sharing the most inner workings of his heart and mind.

"I even considered finding her. His ex-girlfriend. I wanted to know her life, to see if there was anything that I could do to keep her from moving back here. But, no matter what I did, the vision was the same; with just varying degrees of weeks, months, or run-ins before he screwed it all up anyways," he stopped and moved his hand to run through his hair.

"Alice begged me to warn you. She told me to just do it, and if I couldn't, to let her. She's so fiercely loyal to you. I almost contacted you so many times," he spoke while biting his lip and shaking his head back and forth.

_Misery. _

"Oh, Edward," I sighed, not sure what I would have wanted, but needing to commiserate in some way with what he was sharing.

"I just couldn't imagine walking back into your life only to shatter your world all over again."

"I begged Alice to stay out of it. I told her there was no way you would forgive us for meddling in your life after we cut you out of ours."

_He's good_, I thought sadly.

"She told me that you would forgive me, but I had stayed away for so long, and..." he trailed off with a grimace.

I waited a moment before taking a chance that I would be able to speak without tears wracking my voice. I wanted to be strong for him. He was so strong for me. Strong to a fault? Maybe, but strong.

"And, what?"

"God, Bella. Please, understand what I'm going to say," He begged desperately before turning away from me and staring out the window to the dark and cold night.

_Fear._

"I will."

He took a deep breath.

"He wasn't going to stray for another nine months. I couldn't bare to rob you, or Chris, of that happy time with him even though I _knew_ what was coming," he said everything so quietly that I had to really strain to pick up every word.

I didn't know how to wrap my head around that confession. He knew nine entire months before me. I tried to put myself in his shoes, to imagine what it would be like to know that absolute devastation was heading his way but be completely helpless to do anything to stop it. I tried to imagine the guilt and constant battle over whether or not to intervene. I didn't even know where to begin. However, I did know that the decision he made was acceptable to me. I knew that Edward did whatever he thought was truly best for me. His motives were always selfless...painful, but selfless.

Fifty years from now, if I decided that I would have wanted him to come storming up to my front door, screaming at me that my life was about to turn upside down, I still wouldn't blame him because he didn't. I'd just know that what happened was the result of what he decided was the only way. Does that mean I don't value my own beliefs and decisions? No, it's just that I understand the pure desire to do whatever you can to spare those you love from suffering. Just to delay the suffering is understandable. A slow but urgent realization began with that thought and started to spread throughout me, leaving a tingling fire in its wake.

He wanted to delay my suffering of any kind all along.

"It's okay, Edward. None of it was your responsibility, really." I spoke my thoughts at the exact moment that they occurred to me, because I realized he was staring at me fearfully.

His eyes flashed with unmistakable anger and guilt, torture all over his breathtaking face.

"Not my responsibility?" He barked at me.

I was momentarily shaken by his sudden hostility, but I quickly reminded myself that it was broken and martyred Edward before me. If I had any hope of regaining his trust and heart, I had to accept the ridiculous tendency that he has to shoulder all blame, anywhere, for anything and everything that brings me pain.

"I just mean that even if I never met you, I could very well have still ended up with Josh. He would still leave me. I would still be divorced. There would have been heartbreak regardless," I offered in explanation for my thoughts, and I was relieved as his shoulders relaxed slightly.

_Disbelief._

He was silent, and I was desperate to hear his rebuttal because it was obvious he did not agree.

"What is it?" I asked.

He just pressed his lips into a tight line and shook his head.

"Nothing."

"Edward, please tell me," I laced my words with softness and love.

He sensed it. His hand reached over once again, but this time I quickly met it with my own. As our fingers interlaced, he took a deep breath and brought them to his chest.

"I am a monster, Bella."

_Acceptance_.

"Don't," I began, but he squeezed my hand so softly, and I felt compelled to allow him to continue uninterrupted.

"I'm a monster, and I left you because I wanted you to have a normal and happy life. I wanted you to be blessed with children and a future of human memories and growing old with someone that you love. You had those things, and I swear to God, I wanted to be happy for you. I did. I wanted to feel joy and thankfulness that the dream was your reality, but..." he trailed off, and I heard myself gasp softly as his eyes met mine. They were swimming in unshed tears?

"You're crying," I whispered in awe as I instinctively pulled my hand from his and reached to catch any liquid that may escape his brimming eyes.

"No. Don't touch me," he rushed, and I flinched briefly.

I needed to.

"Edward?"

"They're not tears. It's venom." He sounded desperate.

"I don't care. It won't hurt me."

"Yes! If your hands have any scrapes, even a paper-cut, it will sting and burn badly, Bella." He spoke in a business like tone, and soon it was difficult to see him clearly as tears threatened my own vision.

"I don't care, Edward," I hushed him as I moved, pulling my legs up and underneath me to kneel next to him.

He moved away from me.

My mouth dropped open slightly.

He was shaking again.

"I just told you I resented your marriage and your happiness. You're supposed to be happy when those you love have found happiness. How can you stand to look at me?" He was livid.

I was smart enough to think a while before replying. Fear that I may send him fleeing from my home with the wrong words was at the forefront of my thoughts. I knew that if I treated his admission flippantly, he would resent me for it. I also understood that he honestly felt he'd just admitted a horrible truth. He expected what? Anger, indignation, sadness...I could pretend to be experiencing any one of those, but I could not lie to him. And that's what I would be doing. Lying.

He stood and walked a few feet towards the door of my room, staring at the knob with his back to me.

I didn't budge.

"Say something," He finally whispered without moving a muscle.

I wracked my brain for the right response. I knew what I was feeling, but I didn't think he'd respond well to an embrace and murmured words of understanding. At least not before I tried to make him see that I wasn't insulted.

"I wouldn't be happy for you, either," I finally replied, my voice dripping with honesty.

He gave me no verbal response, but I didn't miss the way his body leaned back slightly as if begging to return to my side.

"No?" He asked heartbreakingly.

"Not at all. I'd hate her. I'd hate everything about you and her together. It wouldn't matter if she was a saint. She wouldn't be good enough. And, not because I'm better, just because no one can love you like I do. No one. And anyone trying to would be infuriating to me," I stood as I finished and walked painstakingly slowly to him, standing just inches away.

I stared at his back, still cloaked in his winter coat. I knew he could feel the heat of my body through the layers of his clothes, so I carefully moved until my chest was pressed against his back.

He literally shuddered.

I wrapped my arms gently around his torso, waiting to see what he would do.

He didn't disappoint me. He allowed my arms to hold him tightly. I splayed my hands out over his chest, resting my right one over where I knew his heart lay. I didn't need to feel it beat to know it was there. It screams at me all of the time. Edward rested his hands over my forearms, pressing back against them, strengthening my embrace as he silently showed me his desire to be held tighter.

I leaned my head forward, temporarily overcome by the smell and feel of him in my arms once again. I rested my forehead against the stone of his back as my breath returned and bathed my face from being pressed up to his body.

"We both know that there's one perfect thing that came from this though, and in the end, he makes it all worth it," he said.

"Yes."

"I couldn't give you that."

"I never faulted you that."

"Right, I know. You were too young to know that you would desire it, though. I always knew you had it in you."

"Had what in me, Edward?" I asked, crying softly because I hated the fact that he still felt broken for not being human. Like he had any choice.

"Everything it takes to be an amazing mother. Such a maternal instinct."

I let out a shaky sigh.

"Don't argue with me."

"I won't. I do the best that I can. I'm not perfect. I've made mistakes that hurt him."

"You love him."

"Completely."

"He is a happy boy."

"I hope so."

"He feels loved and secure."

"Edward,"

"You're doing it, Bella. You're a wonderful mom."

"I can't take anymore right now, Edward. Please," I begged, unsure of what I was suddenly desperate for, but I knew that I had reached my emotional confession limit for the day...hell, the decade. I was beginning to feel weak on my feet, and I wanted nothing more than to be swept up in his arms and held while I slept away the angst and sweet torture of the last hour. Edward must have sensed my wooziness, because before I could open my mouth to ask for help, he was moving me to the bed. He gently picked me up and held me to his chest while he shoved the huge comforter and top-sheet down before laying me gingerly down.

I didn't fight him, but I did grab at his t-shirt as he began to retreat from the side of the bed.

"Bella?"

"You won't leave?"

"I won't be here when he wakes up, but I'll be back," he said with reassurance in his eyes.

"No! You tell me when, Edward. I want you to tell me when you will be back," I demanded. I understood his not wanting to confuse, or run into Chris at this point, but I was not willing to take any chance that he thought of the night as a 'get everything off his chest' confrontation before disappearing from me indefinitely.

"We have so much more to discuss. We have so much to figure out."

Edward sighed, then nodded.

"I'll come back tomorrow night. Same time."

I felt sleep begin to demand my body and mind. Talk about emotional exhaustion.

"Stay with me for just a little bit," I asked.

He fell to his knees at my side immediately.

"Is he sleeping okay?" I asked through a yawn as I curled onto my side.

Edward was quiet a moment, instantly understanding my request. Usually, I would check on him one last time before falling asleep myself. I watched through blurry eyes as he smiled. It was such a beautiful sight, and I vowed to make him do it more.

"Yes. He's dreaming of a little league game. He's on deck, and his coach is cheering him on to bring the winning run home."

I laughed lightly at that, shocked when Edward's hand came to brush a piece of hair that had escaped my pony tail away from my face. His icy fingers immediately caused a pleasurable shiver to wrack my body, and I closed my eyes at the feeling.

"A good shiver," I whispered to him, knowing he would fear the temperature of his skin had bothered me.

"Sleep, Bella. I'm here," he whispered, and it must have been only seconds before the most restful escape I've experienced in years embraced me.


	6. Chapter 6

_****Edward POV****_

Looking terrified, he glanced at the display of his cell phone before deciding that there was little chance ignoring it would stop the constant ringing. Not having the heart to shut if off, he took a deep breath, flipped it open, and barely managed a "hello" before the caller started in.

"I'm not waiting another minute, Edward."

Standing from the couch where he had been sitting, unflinchingly, for the last four hours; he made his way up the stairs. He peered through the darkness of the window in his old bedroom. The house was now vacant, but it was easy for him to close his eyes and picture it exactly as it had been ten years ago.

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not. I'm getting in the car first thing in the morning. It will only take me five hours, six tops, to get there. Expect me sometime around nine."

"Don't be ridiculous."

"I'm not. Listen to me. I will see her now."

"Stop it. I'm just very confused right now. This is all a complete shock. I never intended to show up on her doorstep like this."

There was a brief pause at the other end of the line.

"Oh, give me a break! You went to the school because I told you he would be hurt, even though it would have been completely under control. I saw the decision to go up on the playground equipment, and I told you he'd break his ankle, Edward. His ankle. Not exactly life-threatening; especially considering we're talking about the offspring of Bella. The girl is a celebrity for the clumsy."

"I know all of this. I don't need a recap."

"So knock it off with the attitude."

"Will you stop it? I'm going to hang up."

"You started it."

"All I did was help keep him out of a cast for a while."

"Yeah, but it was just your excuse. Just your reason, _finally._ The timing is right now. You were going to her regardless. I know you would do anything to protect them, but you chose now because you couldn't wait a second more. Neither can I, Edward. Please, please."

"I'm scared."

He heard Alice take a deep breath, and was relieved when she didn't disregard his confession flippantly.

"I know."

"Really scared. You should have warned me that she would react like that. She was breathtaking. She was begging me to stop hiding, and God help me, I had to go to her. I had to."

"I know," her voice was so soft and gentle. Instantly, he abandoned their petty argument and sought her support.

"She made me feel so many things in one hour that I swear I thought I'd never feel again."

"She's grown up."

"You have no idea."

"I have to get there."

"Not yet. It's so complicated."

"I understand. I do. But, I miss her so much, Edward. I miss her just like you do. We all do. I love her, and I'll never forgive myself for leaving like I did with no goodbyes. I know it was necessary, and I will never betray you, but don't ask me to continue like this any longer than I have already. I want my friend back. It's right now. It's right."

"Alice..."

"Edward..."

He sighed, raking a hand roughly through his hair with nimble fingers as he peered out the large window. His expert eyes could barely make out the first sliver of morning light as the sun made its way up, and over the mountains, ahead.

The soft grey of the early morning took on a bluish tint as the light cut through the thick fog and frost coating most everything in his line of sight.

He admitted defeat.

"Can you give me a few days? Just a couple; some time to figure everything out. We can't overwhelm her. We don't fit into her life anymore. She has her own world now."

He clearly heard a groan followed by an unintelligible string of objections as she presumably covered the speaker with her hand while venting her frustrations. The only things he clearly made out during her minute long ramble were, "so stubborn, Jasper," "my big suitcase", "baseball", and "Esme, your son."

Something told him his entire family most likely had received a thorough rundown of the past day's events thanks to his sister's talents.

Finally, she spoke to him directly.

"Three. I'll give you three days, because I'm proud of you for finally doing this. Everyone wants, no...that's not right...we _need_ for you to be okay, Edward. We want you to be happy, and there's only one thing that can bring you that."

"Two now."

He could practically hear her smile through the phone.

"You're right. Two someones." She agreed wholly.

"I'll talk to you later. Tell everyone that I miss them."

"We love you."

"I love you, too."

As he was about to flip the phone shut, a slightly softer and more even voice caught his attention as it filtered over the line.

"Wait! Edward, Esme wants to say something," his sister explained.

"Of course."

He waited anxiously, feelings of guilt and love mixing as he considered the inevitable pain he'd put his adoptive mother through in the last few years as he flitted in and out of their family; resembling an empty shell of the man he knew they all knew him to be.

"Edward, darling," her voice was like balm to his tattered nerves, and he leaned his head against the cold glass of the window in front of him.

"Hi, Esme."

"Oh, honey. Listen. Carlisle and I miss you so much. We're so happy to hear the news. You must tell us everything about how they are, and how you're doing. Not now, but know that our thoughts are with you, and we will be here, Edward. We'll be waiting for you."

"I'm so sorry," he started, his voice laden with remorse for the necessary misery they'd all endured.

"Don't apologize. We love you. Now, call us first chance you get, okay?" Her tone was so uplifting, and he briefly wondered how she knew exactly what he needed to hear, and how he needed to hear it said, until he decided it was just another reason why she was an amazing mother to all of them. Real or not.

"I promise."

"Bye then."

"Goodbye."

The soft click of the line being disconnected was a relief in a way. Now, he was free to continue dissecting what the last day had changed. The answer was simple, yet terrifying. Everything.

*****Bella POV*****

"Mommy, is there more milk in the fridgerator outside cause I ran out for my cereal?" His soft voice was the first thing I was conscious of. I then realized my room was very bright. Too bright for six o' clock, which is when I usually wake up during the week.

"Sweetie?"

"Yep. Sorry. I didn't wanna wake you up," he explained as he came to crawl up on the bed beside me.

I took in his jeans and sweatshirt and smiled brightly at him before reaching out to run my hand through his hair.

"You got dressed all by yourself and...is that toothpaste I smell on your breath?" I asked with a wink as he leaned over and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek, bathing my face in minty fresh breath.

"I brushed for a whole two minutes."

"Woah! I must be dreaming," I laughed, amazed at how he can make every day seem like the best ever.

His eyes lit up with my response, and I quickly glanced at the clock on my bedside table, shocked to realize it was almost ten after seven, and we had only thirty minutes before we'd have to leave for school. As I sat up, realization and the events of the past day came crashing back to me. Edward was back. He was right here in my bedroom. He was on my bed. I wondered how I'd slept so soundly with everything that had transpired. Part of me was begging to just lose myself in the memories of our conversation, but the other part knew I needed to get going right away if we were going to make it to school with a lunch, homework packed, and sanity intact.

I practically crawled from the comfort of my bed as Chris jogged back to his bedroom to get a jacket at my request. I slipped on my boots and a new sweatshirt. I'd have to shower after dropping him off today thanks to my impromptu sleep-in. Scanning my room quickly, I looked for any clues, or evidence, that Edward has really been there. Everything looked to be in its place. I glanced at the clock once more as we made our way to the kitchen, mentally calculating how many hours it would be until I would see him again. Surely, I could make it twelve measly hours.

As I stepped into the kitchen, I smiled at Chris, who was already back and seated at the kitchen table, a spoonful of Cinnamon Toast Crunch half-way to his mouth. Stopping to grab the extra carton of milk from the back of the fridge, I stood completely still in the middle of the room until I realized what was wrong with the picture before me. My kitchen was clean. Sparkling, really. Where there should have been a greasy plate of hot dog juice, shiny white tile greeted me. Instead of a pan of chile and a bowl of relish, the clean iron of my stove stared back. Cautiously, I made my way to peer into the sink; nothing. Did he mop the floor? I was shocked. I handed the carton of milk to Chris after twisting the cap off and made my way silently to the family room. Blanket folded neatly over the couch?...check. Popcorn bowl and juice cups gone?...check. That sneaky, silent vampire cleaned my house while I slept a room away.

I was so overcome with emotion, and I chastised myself for being so touched by such a simple gesture of caring, but was it so simple? I could literally count on one hand the number of times my ex-husband willingly cleaned, or tidied up for me, without being asked or prodded to. Now, I knew that it's not in a man's chemical make-up to do any sort of indoor, household chores, but the fact that Edward noticed and tried to help me in that way was excruciatingly powerful for some reason. While I didn't _need_ any help, I suppose it had just been too long since someone showed that they wanted to chip in. It never bothered me that Josh was unhelpful when it came to cleaning, laundry, cooking, etc. because he did more than a fair share of yard-work, car maintenance, and plumbing troubleshooting. A man's domain. And, I had no problem being the stereotypical housewife. I did not shutter in fear at the image of an apron, bare feet, and a baby carriage but, I'd always felt like none of my efforts were truly appreciated. I always commented on how great the lawn looked, how smoothly my car would run after he'd tune it, and I truly appreciated a properly flushing toilet, but he just never seemed to grasp the effort it took to cook a meal from scratch every night, keep up with laundry, and run a house.

Edward just seemed to instantly get it all. He always had though...he was just from another time. I huffed and spun on my heels, feeling just a little bewildered with absolutely nothing to tidy up.

"Do you think it's gonna rain?" Chris' voice called hopefully from the kitchen.

I walked back to where he sat, glancing out the kitchen window to the dark and ominous clouds rolling directly over the hills a couple miles away.

"Sure looks like it, buddy. Why?"

"Cause if it does, we get to eat lunch inside and then play cool games until the bell rings."

"Aahh. Well, we can hope for the best then."

"Yeah."

Once he was done with his breakfast, he placed the bowl and spoon in the sink; reaching blindly over the edge on his tippy-toes and letting go gently since his arms aren't quite long enough to reach in completely.

"Good job."

"Thanks."

"Okay, buddy, let's get going. Gotta get you off to another day, but this time no climbing on the off-limits playground, right?" I said with a smile thrown over my shoulder as I put his homework into his backpack. I thought for a second about how much had happened since we were sitting at the table doing his homework the night before. To my son, nothing out of the ordinary took place while he slept, but to me, my entire world changed.

After a long shower, I dressed in my favorite jeans, tennis shoes, and light pink thermal top, before spending the rest of the day being completely useless at my desk. Every time I set my mind to a specific task, it lasted all of three minutes before I veered off path, daydreaming or thinking of him and his family. I tried turning on the TV to give me some inspiring, background noise, but it did nothing to help me. The soft laughter from the studio audience of "I Love Lucy" always does the trick for me. Not this time. I had an article on online video hosting and music artists' rights due at four, and the research I'd spent the last week working on just wouldn't organize itself into anything decent.

I tapped my foot nervously on the carpet and glanced out the window to the street. It was raining lightly but didn't look like it would continue for much longer. I could see the spot where I'd finally fallen into his arms, and I found myself wondering how I'd let him leave last night without a cell phone number and more information on his family. I guess it was just too fresh then. I was too focused on him and the words coming from his beautiful mouth to think of anything other than our current circumstance. I found myself thinking of the shadows under his eyes. I wondered how long it'd been since he'd hunted, surprised at how normal it seemed to consider such a thing. It just always fit. It hadn't escaped me that he'd called himself a "monster" again the night before, and if there was one aspect of our reunion that was haunting me the most, it was that fact. Regardless of where we went from that point, I vowed that he would understand one thing; a monster is the farthest thing from what he resembles to me.

While I should have been typing furiously about the woes of the music world, I wondered how Alice was doing. I'd formed a special bond with every member of his family, partly because I knew their secret and they trusted me with it, and partly because I loved someone they loved. That's a powerful tie. It's hard not to find a spot in your heart for someone that also loves the same things or people that you do. Everyone in his family was eventually welcoming, some more than others of course, but I was closest with Alice. She understood me. She knew my intentions were pure, and I believe she was the only one to really grasp the depth of what Edward and I felt. She didn't say goodbye, and that hurt, but I'm not foolish enough to think she didn't want to. He said he wanted a clean break, and while I think Alice is nearly perfect, I don't think she could have managed that face to face.

Even though I was left with no choice but to believe the lies he told me in the forest that day, a part of me always knew that I wouldn't have experienced such pain and loss if it hadn't been so real in the first place. Edward confirmed what I'd always known deep down as he sat in my bedroom confessing his heart. There could never be a distraction powerful enough to overshadow what we both felt. A marriage couldn't do it for me, and denial did not work for him.

I grew more and more frustrated with my lack of concentration, finally forcing myself to whip out a half-hearted assignment that came in exactly at my required word-count. I e-mailed it to my editor with forty-five minutes to spare and headed out the door to pick up Chris in a frantic rush. I realized I was going to be late no matter how fast I drove. I worried that the he would be upset, since I always told him if I wasn't going to be there when the bell rang.

As I drove, I found myself unable to ignore the thoughts I'd subconsciously been avoiding the entire day. Yes, everything was drastically different in some aspects of my life, but my son was still waiting for me to pick him up from school. We would go home and do his homework. I'd cook dinner, and we would spend time together relaxing and enjoying the evening before he'd go to sleep. We'd finish the week and have my dad over for Sunday dinner just like we do every weekend. Chris would see his dad on Monday, and then he'd start t-ball, and soon enough it would be time to shop for Halloween costumes and then Holiday decorations. The question remained...how would Edward Cullen fit into any of that? What would he be willing to do?

I had to stop that train of thought for the time being, because the intense feelings of fear and dread were a little overwhelming. I pulled into a spot and hurried to the playground, feeling guilty and rushed. I spotted him almost immediately on a swing. I waved as I reached the fence, and smiled when he instantly started dragging his feet along the gravel-covered ground to slow him down. He barely waited until the swing came to a respectable height in its forward swing before jumping off.

"Geez," I muttered to myself with a sigh as I watched him land on both feet.

I approached the teacher with a clipboard near the playground entrance.

"Boys, right?" She said with a knowing smile as she glanced between Chris and me, no doubt having witnessed the leap from the swing.

I laughed lightly while nodding and took the pen from her, signing my name next to Chris' printed one and jotting down the exact time.

"Tell me about it," I said as he reached my side.

"Hi, mom!"

"Hey! Did you have a good day?"

"Yes. I'm glad it stopped raining cause I never get to swing. There's always older kids hogging them."

"Oh, cool."

"Have a good afternoon, Chris. Thank you, Miss Swan," the woman said as she took the sign-out paper back from me.

"Thank you. You too!" I said as I took Chris' hand, and we made our way to his classroom door to pick up his backpack.

"Sorry I'm a little late, buddy. I got stuck working on something for a bit." I explained as we gathered up his belongings. I spotted his jacket, sitting discarded a few backpacks away, and walked over to retrieve it.

He glanced up at me with a coy smile when he realized what I was doing. He'd almost lost _another _one.

"No problem."

"I usually tell you when you'll have stay in daycare for a bit. You weren't worried or upset?"

He looked at me strangely for a minute. I tried to interpret his face, but I was clueless for once. We were almost to the car when he answered.

"I knew you'd be here."

"You did?"

"You always come get me, momma."

It was such a simple statement, but I found myself pulling him up into my arms for a big hug out of sheer emotion. He wrapped his arms around my neck and sighed.

"You're a smart guy," I whispered to him.

I felt him chuckle. I kissed him once on the cheek before I set him down and watched silently as he climbed into the car. He buckled the belt as I supervised.

"Got it?"

"Yep."

"K. Let's go home."

The rest of the afternoon, and early evening, flew by even though I continuously checked the clock. I made spaghetti and green beans for dinner. Chris ate three green beans and a full bowl of pasta. "Pick your battles", I reminded myself happily as I watched him slurp down the last forkful, before spearing a meatball and polishing it off as well.

"You're a growing boy, huh?"

His mouth was smiling I'm sure, if I could have seen it under all of the sauce, that is.

"That's what daddy says, too," he answered cheerily. I couldn't help but return his smile.

Once we had cleaned everything up from dinner, he took a long bath; playing with every tub toy he owns until the water was too cold to continue to sit comfortably in.

"Can you just add more hot?" He asked as I finished rinsing his hair with fresh water from the handheld shower head.

"Nope. It's getting late, and you need to get to bed."

He gave me a tiny frown, jutting his bottom lip out slightly as water poured over his head.

"Oh, no way, buddy. Not gonna work." I said as I walked to the bathroom door and grabbed a huge towel off the hook.

"When I get back there, you better be ready to get out," I said as I made a show of getting a hairbrush, his toothbrush, and toothpaste out of the drawer before turning to look at him.

He sat in the middle of the tub.

"Chris?" I said with a hint of disappointment in my voice. It's rare that he pushes his luck, but he's a typical five year old; he has figured out that testing my patience and pushing the limits is the only way he can map out just what he can get away with.

"Just a couple more minutes?"

"I said no."

His "sad face" intensified, and I had just opened my mouth to say something when he dropped his toy ship and stood with a quiet grumble, reaching his hands out to brace himself as he crawled over the edge and stood on the mat.

"Good choice," I said quietly as I walked to him and wrapped him up, pulling the excess up to towel-dry his hair as he stared at me.

"Now, go put on some pj's and when you're done, meet me in the kitchen for a cookie and some milk," I said with a wink.

"Thanks, mommy," he said as he scurried passed me to his room, dropping the towel in the middle of his doorway.

_Pick your battles_, I reminded myself. I picked up the towel and returned to the bathroom to hang it up.

After dessert, we brushed his hair, teeth, and read a bedtime story. I knew I had a little over half an hour before Edward was due back. I tried so hard to remain patient as Chris stumbled over sentences when it was his turn to read. He was reading beautifully, and my heart swelled with pride, but I was so eager to see Edward again that I found myself hoping his pages would end up with the shorter paragraphs. They didn't. Not once.

A few minutes later, I kissed Chris goodnight and took a deep breath as I pulled his door partially shut behind me.

"Love you," he called again from behind the door.

"Love you the most," I returned before I walked down the hall to the kitchen.

I wondered if Edward would just appear inside the house somewhere after finding a window he could unlock, or if he'd simply ring the doorbell and wait for me to answer. I realized I didn't care either way. I just wanted him beside me. I cleaned up the kitchen and stopped by my room to change into a fresh sweater. I brushed out my hair and had just returned to the family room when I heard a soft knock on the front door.

My heart stopped. It was as if I hadn't seen him a little less than twenty-four hours before. I was so desperate, but I couldn't seem to make myself move to the door. I could barely make out the shape of a man behind the frosted glass of my oak and beveled glass door. What if it wasn't him? A million thoughts overwhelmed me, but it was his soft voice that snapped me out of my momentary shock.

"Bella?" he spoke so quietly, but I couldn't miss it. He must have known I'd need a little encouragement.

I closed the distance between myself and the door as quickly as my legs could manage. I flicked the dead-bolt to the left and swung the door open.

His eyes met mine instantly, and I bit back a groan as I took the sight of him in.

He was stunning.

"You're right on time," I said lamely, not having anything better to say.

"I promised," he answered with a grin.

I didn't move.

"You cleaned my house," I mumbled as I moved to the side and waved him in.

His grin widened, and I winced as his amazing scent enveloped me as he strode in.

"It was nothing," he said as he stopped in the entryway and turned to face me.

"Well, it meant a lot to me," I confessed as I locked the door behind him and turned to meet his gaze.

He smiled warmly at me before shrugging his shoulders in such a human way that it made me giggle. He quirked an eyebrow and sighed.

"So, Bella, we have three days," he began lightly. I looked at him curiously, content that he'd divulge exactly what he meant and suddenly so at peace that I didn't care how long it took him to explain. I'd listen forever.


	7. Chapter 7

The only thing that concerned me was the idea that he meant he'd be leaving in three days, and I felt the stirring of panic in my belly, but only until I saw the corner of his mouth twitch upwards in a hint of the beautiful smile that only he is capable of. Realistically, I knew he wouldn't be so blasé about something potentially painful for either one of us, like a departure in three days, so I quickly squashed the dread and replied as calmly as I could manage.

"Until what?"

He shot me a nervous glance, but allowed the smile to fully grace his face. I was mesmerized.

"Until Alice." He spoke with a single nod of his head.

I laughed at that. Of course, she would have seen the events of the past few days, and I was wondering how long it would be until she'd gracefully, but powerfully, waltz her way back into town. I felt my heart contract at the mere mention of her name. I've always been one for strong, physical reactions to my emotional state, but the feeling of anticipation that her simple name evoked was out of the norm, even for me. It felt like more than standard anticipation. She left without a proper farewell, and my intense desire for a reunion was intertwined with an odd nervousness about how she would react to the choices I'd made in her absence. Surely, she couldn't object to anything that resulted in Chris, but some part of me feared that she would never understand my willingness to accept Edward's lies. As if I had any other choice.

"I tried to explain that we shouldn't be intruding. I bought us as much time as possible, but...well, you know Alice." His voice was soft and held a note of embarrassment.

It was endearing to see him uncomfortable once again. I never told him when I was younger, but I always found it adorable when something we experienced caused him jitters. I think it's because he was self-trained to remain in control at all times; so sure that he'd experienced everything that could surprise him. It was almost an honor to see him fumble, to see the very human emotion of uncertainty fall upon him. It made him vulnerable, and it made me yearn to show him just how much he has never allowed himself to enjoy. I knew that I was not smarter, wiser, stronger, more experienced, or better than him in any way, but it almost looked like he thought I was at times. He'd get this strange look on his face, just like he did the night before that seemed to scream, "show me how to do this."

"I'm sure I can convince her to wait if you're unhappy," he interrupted my thoughts.

"Edward, if there's one thing I remember about your sister, it's that she's not one to back down after she's made up her mind. If she has decided to come here; she'll be here. We have no say," I offered him in response.

He smiled softly and nodded. I turned away and slowly made my way into the family room. He followed me. Without turning, I could sense him, the coolness washing off and bathing me in subtle breezes as his feet silently crossed the carpet.

"Besides, I want to see her," I finished, as I turned to eye him carefully. I wanted to see his reaction. My words were the first real indicator I'd given that I was open to a connection with any of his family after the past events.

"Are you sure about that?"

His gaze was intense. I didn't hesitate.

"Yes."

"Good. That's settled then. Thank you, Bella."

"For?"

"Understanding," he spoke clearly, but dropped his head so that I could no longer see his eyes.

I gave him a quick grin and suddenly felt the need to busy myself in some way. He was so content to just stand there and watch me, and it was unsettling due to the fact that I wanted nothing more than to hold him again, and I wasn't sure what he was willing to do. More than that, I just wanted to feel the depth of our connection. I wanted an embrace, a kiss. I wanted to kiss him so badly.

His sudden reintroduction into my life was resulting in a resurgence of so many emotions and desires. I'd spent the last two years suppressing my own wants out of necessity and plain old apathy. There was no one for me to seek comfort from. There was no one I wanted. My girlfriends were helpful, every once in a while trying to set me up with an acquaintance, but I had absolutely no desire to invest time in a new relationship. I didn't feel that I was missing anything vital. For that very reason, I politely declined their matchmaking efforts and did a damn good job convincing my family and friends that dating just wasn't of interest to me. I even convinced myself. I didn't find happily ever after with Josh, even though I'd really tried. I tried with all my might. I wasn't foolish enough to think I'd find it with a new man. Some part of me always knew, I'd already met my happily ever after.

Then, Edward all but crashed back into my reality, and suddenly, the last couple of years that I spent feeling content with my situation seemed preposterous. It was survival. That's all it was. It wasn't really living, just existing. I existed to be a good mom, to love Chris with all my heart, and to just be. But, with Edward, I felt alive with my own wants and needs.

I noticed Chris' spelling flash-cards scattered all over the coffee table and made quick work of gathering them into a pile as Edward continued to stand in the middle of the small room.

"I'm actually looking forward to seeing her," I said to Edward as I tried to focus on the present.

"No, Bella." His voice was firm, and I had no choice but to set the pile of cards down and face him.

He looked like my five-year-old son and a grown man at the same time. I was blown away.

"Edward?" There was little else that I could do but question the emotions I saw, since he didn't offer me much in explanation.

"Thank you, not just for understanding about Alice," he ran his hand through his hair as he replied.

I nodded slowly and took a deep breath, preparing for another intense conversation.

"I expected you to be furious with me for so many reasons. You never do what I think you will. I guess I should accept that by now."

"You're learning."

He laughed, "I guess I am."

"It's just that things are different now, you know? Six or seven years ago, you would have returned to a very different Bella, but people constantly change; maybe not for the better, but they do evolve because of their experiences. They have to. Their increased knowledge means they can't pretend certain things are truths anymore."

Edward nodded his head subtly as I spoke. He seemed to be agreeing with everything that I said, and that sent a shiver of excitement through me.

"Unless they delude themselves into believing their own lies," he added.

The fact that he was referring to himself did not escape me.

"Right. Well, that's just masochistic," I added, looking up at him warmly.

He laughed lightly, and I felt myself smiling widely back at him. It lasted only a minute before his face fell, and an anxious look was thrown my way before he turned his head to the left and froze.

Nothing about his sudden mood change surprised me. I was quickly becoming accustomed to him arriving with a calm demeanor and rapidly shifting to a morose, guilty man in no time at all. But, the way that he was looking pointedly at my front door was strange. My view was blocked by a large bookcase holding both my TV and rather impressive DVD collection, and I tried to remain patient, figuring he would continue talking at some point.

A few seconds passed before I realized I was wrong. He didn't say a thing.

"What is it?" I asked carefully.

"Umm, I think he is about to..."

I waited until I heard the other voice, suddenly understanding why Edward looked both terrified and captivated.

"Mommy?"

From where I stood, I could not see the foyer, which is where I assumed Chris' voice came from. He would have to pass by there on the way to the kitchen. Chances were he had awoken and decided to wander to the kitchen for something. I instantly realized the scared look I'd seen on Edward's face must have been the result of hearing Chris shift from sleep to wakefulness. I continued to stare at Edward, mesmerized by the way he eagerly glanced back to me before whipping his eyes back to the entryway. After a few seconds, he looked back to me, then back at him, then back at me again. He was nervous. He was flustered. He was beautiful. I smiled, trying my best to calm him. His eyes finally met mine and held. It almost seemed like he was begging me for something. Permission, maybe? He looked desperate, and I drew my eyebrows up in a silent question, asking him what he was imploring me to do for him.

"Mom."

"In the family room, sweetie. Come here," I said, watching in awe as Edward's face shifted into a mask of anticipation. He just wanted to meet him. I was sure he could hear my heart shatter.

I heard Edward gasp softly as Chris slowly shuffled into view, coming to a stop a mere three feet from him. His blue pajama pants were twisted at his ankles and bunched up, a testament to him constantly shifting around in his sleep. Brown hair stuck out in every direction, and his cheeks held the faintest hint of a blush. He held his plastic cup in his right hand with a tiny smirk on his face.

"I was gonna get some water, but I heard you talking," he began, tilting his head up to stare at Edward.

"Hi," he said in greeting, childhood warmth emanating from his voice as he took a step closer.

"Hi there." Edward spoke softly and with such awe in his expression.

"Hey," Chris mumbled sleepily as realization began to dawn. "I know you."

I opened my mouth to speak, but Edward beat me to it. I watched silently as he bent down, crouching to be at eye level with my son.

Countless feelings and thoughts hit me when presented with that image. I pictured Edward with his own children, impossible or not. I pictured him teaching, coaching, guiding, disciplining, loving, and nurturing. He'd already done all of those things at some point in my presence, but it was the fact that the scene before me seemed so natural that fueled my imagination. I knew I was being ridiculous. He was simply conversing with Chris like any polite visitor would. But, he looked so right. He looked like he belonged there.

"That's right. I was at your school the other day," Edward confirmed with a small smile.

"Yeah! You were the one that helped me on the monkey bars," Chris stated happily. As soon as the words left his mouth, he turned and smiled at me.

"Mommy, this is the nice guy I told you 'bout."

Edward chuckled.

"I know. Mommy actually knows him from a long time ago. He's a friend," I offered.

Chris looked at me peacefully before answering with a simple, "Oh, cool."

Edward visibly relaxed in front of my very eyes. I found it odd. What had he expected?

"Okay, well go grab some water, and it's straight back to bed for you. It's late!" I said, pointing in the direction of the kitchen.

"But I want to talk to Edward more."

"Oh, you do?"

"Yep."

"About?"

He rolled his bright brown eyes at me, and I chuckled.

"I dunno. I just don't want to go back to bed yet. I'm not tired now," he explained, smiling at me. I groaned inwardly. It was obvious he'd completely shaken off the remnants of sleep.

I heard Edward quietly laugh. I threw him a questioning look as I walked toward Chris.

"What's so funny?" I whispered as I passed him.

"Nothing. I'll explain later," Edward promised.

I nodded quickly. "I'm sorry, buddy, but it's a school night. You know what tomorrow is, and you don't want to be too tired for Friday Fun Day!" I reminded him of his classroom tradition of games and playtime on Friday afternoons. He cocked his head to the side as he digested my words. He looked at me before turning to stare at our visitor.

"Will you be back?" He asked simply.

Edward took a breath and smiled.

Chris watched him carefully, breaking out into a huge smile before I spoke. I noticed a brief look of alarm flash across Edward's face.

"Yes, he will. You'll get a chance to talk more. I promise," I intervened as I walked in the direction of the kitchen.

No one followed.

"Chris, let's go," I urged.

Neither of them budged. Their eyes were locked, and I found it odd. Edward was concentrating very hard, his eyes drawn together in deep thought. Chris placed one hand on his head and rubbed his eyes a bit.

"Sweetheart, I mean it," I said, wanting him to get back to bed.

They both chuckled quietly.

"Say goodnight to Edward. Your time is up." My voice was stronger that time.

The two of them stared at each other for another moment, and I bit my lip, wishing I could read their minds and know what they were both thinking. Edward looked extremely attentive. Chris looked happy and seemed to be absorbing every detail about Edward that he could possibly catalog. I watched in fascination as they smiled at each other; Edward's seemed slightly uncomfortable while Chris' was genuinely breathtaking. After a few more seconds, Edward's smile faded, and then he gave a quick nod of his head. Without a word, Chris turned his back and walked to me with a bright look in his eyes.

"Night, Edward," he spoke over his shoulder.

"Goodnight, Chris. Sleep well."

"K, you too! I'll see you in the morning, mommy" he said, waving his arms at me in the way he does when he wants me to bend over so that he can kiss my cheek.

I moved my face toward him, receiving a quick, smacking kiss before he disappeared down the hall, water forgotten.

I watched him go, listening as he jumped into his bed, the wood of the frame knocking into the wall softly.

"Oops! Sorry." His voice rang through the house.

"Unhuh!" I muttered, turning to face Edward with an apologetic smile. I felt bad about the interruption, and I wasn't sure how he was going to feel about the unplanned introduction.

Nothing at all could have prepared me for the look on his face when I caught his attention.

I felt my heart stutter.

"Edward?"

His wild eyes met mine, and I froze in my spot.

His mouth moved a few times, but no sound came from him. Nothing that I could hear at least.

"What is it?" I asked, more urgency in my voice.

"I had a conversation with him," he finally spoke. His words were careful, distinct, and laced with awe.

"Yeah, he liked you," I replied, eager to assure him that Chris was fine with what had happened. That was obvious to me.

"No, you don't understand," he whispered fiercely.

I looked at him questioningly.

"What, then?"

Edward swallowed and blinked unnecessarily before answering me.

"I, " he stopped and appeared to be convincing himself, "Bella, I didn't speak out loud."


	8. Chapter 8

A gripping fear paralyzed me at his words. I had no idea what to think. The reality of the shock was written all over Edward's face. My growing panic stemmed from a combination of the fact that I thought something bizarre had happened while they were staring at each other, and the fact that Edward appeared as alarmed by the turn of events as I felt. I needed him to be unfazed by it. I wanted him to laugh about it. I wanted it to be a huge joke. Denial became my instant friend. Had Edward grown a sick sense of humor while we were separated? I can't explain how badly I wanted that to be the case. I knew the answer was no, but I was also at a complete loss as to how to deal with the situation otherwise.

A fierce and protective surge of maternal instinct spread through me, and I was desperate to assert that my son was normal, not a mindreader. I thought that word over, even as I stood before Edward, frozen. Normal. There are so many versions of normal. Its definition does not include intelligence, physical abilities, or disabilities, in my mind. I think children are normal exactly the way they come to us. They are a blessing, period. That being said, normal does not include possessing supernatural powers. Normal five-year-old children do not hold silent conversations with adults, vampire, or not. Normal little boys do not have telepathic abilities.

My child is normal. He scrapes his knees, cries because of occasional nightmares, loves Sponge Bob, and took three months to learn to tie his shoes. He looses his sweatshirts, never eats the fruit I pack in his lunch-box, and steals all of the marshmallows out of my Lucky Charms before I can even sit down.

I felt more than a little guilty as I vehemently tried to rationalize away the curveball Edward has just thrown me. Why was I so desperate to argue his claim? Was I scared of this alleged ability? Did it make Chris any less the love of my life? Of course not, but I couldn't help but fear for him if it was true. I immediately assumed the worst. It would make his life more difficult. It would be horrible for him to deal with as he grew older. He would suffer because of it, and that was an excruciating thought. I would do anything to protect him.

"Just try and be calm. We will sort all of this out." It was obvious that Edward had gathered his wits about him while I was freaking out. He appeared settled, ready to be a pillar of strength for me, and I was going to need it.

"You are joking, right?" My voice was tinged with frustration.

Edward blinked once again and shook his head.

"I heard him think to himself, '_What's his name_?' I heard his thoughts perfectly, exactly the opposite of yours," he began, and I studied him carefully as he spoke, looking for any indication that he was hiding even a shred of the truth. I wanted every little detail. I was absolutely crazy for every piece of information that he could share with me.

"I immediately thought my name in answer to his question, but I didn't say anything because you were telling him it was time to get some water and go back to bed."

I nodded slowly, the small action just about the only thing I was capable of at the moment.

"That's when he objected and said he wanted to stay up and talk with _Edward _more," he continued.

That was it? I felt myself relax the tiniest bit.

"So, that means nothing! Maybe he overheard us earlier. Who knows! I might have said your name in my sleep the other morning. He could have heard it anywhere. Did you tell him at school?" I heard the desperation in my voice, and I tried taking a deep breath, frustrated when it did nothing to quell the ache in my chest.

"Then he asked if I would be back," Edward did not stop to respond to my remarks; he only blazed forward, desperate for me to believe.

"I thought to myself that Alice is going to absolutely love him. I stood there watching him stand his ground, looking every bit as determined and passionate as his mother..." His voice grew softer.

I urged him on with my eyes.

"That's when he turned to me, and all I could hear in his thoughts was, '_Who is Alice? Is she mommy's friend, too_?' I knew then. He heard me thinking of her. It was a sort of a reflex for me to continue the conversation silently. I'm so accustomed to my family simply thinking of things they wish for me to know. It actually took me a while to realize that we were not using spoken words."

"No," my voice was hoarse with tears that were gathering, quickly threatening to spill forth.

"There was no mistaking it." His tone was authoritative.

"This can't be happening."

Edward paused and titled his heady slightly as he really looked at me. He gave me a compassionate smile and moved closer.

"Shhh, Bella. Everything will be alright. Chris didn't seem alarmed at all. In fact, it seemed like second nature to him."

"Don't be ridiculous, Edward."

"I'm serious."

"Just stop it! Okay, stop. He doesn't read minds. He does not read minds. You were just mistaken. That's all," I said, my voice strong but tense.

Edward huffed and ran his hands through his hair. I thought I saw pity in his eyes as he shot me another unsure look.

"I don't know what to think," I admitted weakly, throwing my hands out in complete confusion.

He regarded me carefully, understanding and fear shining in his eyes. Before he said anything more, he moved to be even closer to me. As he came to stand just to my right, he reached out a hand and grabbed my left, holding it lightly between our bodies. I felt his fingers intertwine with my own, and I tightened the hold involuntarily. The cool, smooth skin was fortifying. I took a deep breath, calming slightly when the oxygen actually seemed to fill my lungs and soothe my body for the first time in the last five minutes.

I stared at him, desperate to hear him laugh and take it all back. There was no way Chris shared Edward's gift. My son does not read minds. He does not hear things people do not voice. I would know if he had special abilities. I would know. I repeated that to myself as a mantra while Edward continued to watch me. His hand released mine and carefully cupped my cheek instead. He tilted my face, bring my eyes to his wordlessly.

"Don't be scared," he whispered.

"I'm not. I'm terrified."

"We'll figure it out. I promise you. I'll get Carlisle. I'm sure there's an explanation."

"An explanation?" I scoffed, instantly sorry when he winced at my tone.

I was so overcome with emotions and thoughts. I did not mean to hurt Edward with my reaction, but he was the only one I could bounce my feelings off of. He was the only one who could understand, and therefore, he was going to hear every thought as it occurred to me.

I wanted to be sure it was all a huge mix up. I ran through their interaction numerous times. I wondered why Edward hadn't noticed this supposed revelation at the school, but realized there had been minimal contact then. I tried to convince myself that they just had a run of the mill silent conversation. I couldn't make myself believe. Something had happened. Something strange, and anything made more sense than the explanation being offered.

Suddenly, my stomach turned even more violently than it had been since Edward's shocking words. My breath quickened, and I played back one pivotal moment in their meeting that at the time seemed trivial, but now, was very telling.

"You're right. I never told him your name," I whispered after a moment, acknowledging the fact that I'd only referred to him as my "friend."

Edward just nodded in understanding, his fingers running delicately over the skin of my neck. I leaned into his touch.

"No, _you _didn't."

I shook my head feebly, not making much of an effect since it was cupped between Edward's hands.

I felt the fear grow as resignation seeped into my mind. Edward would not lie about something so profound. I knew that all along, but normal, human tendencies dictated that I at least try and deny something so unreal.

"We have to get him up then. Ask him about it. See if this is the first time. How does it sound to him? I have to know if it happens with others too...with _me_" I mumbled, thinking of so many questions to ask him that I wasn't able to verbalize them fast enough. I wondered why my son apparently possesses a mind, which is the complete opposite of my own, to Edward. He can't hear anything from me, but he can fully communicate, silently, with my child. My mind reeled.

He only watched me. His fingers flitted to my hair before he gently ran his hand through pieces of it. I bit my lip, able to gather no comfort from his attempts at soothing me.

"Shhh," he practically cooed to me, and I felt my frustration mount.

"I have to see it happen," I said, pulling my hands up and shoving lightly on his chest. I just wanted to make my way to Chris's room. Edward did not budge.

I tried to step to the side instead, not realizing he was actually intent on stopping me.

"Bella, no."

"Please, move," I begged, my hands shaking visibly as I grabbed uselessly at his hands while they encircled my waist.

"Listen to me," he began. I shifted my gaze from the expanse of his chest and caught his stare. It was intense, full of sympathy and strength.

"Let's not wake him now. In the morning, when you're refreshed and calm, you can try to learn as much as possible, but there's little point in overwhelming him with questions right now. Believe me when I say that what happened did not upset him in the least," he spoke with such conviction that I found it hard to even think of an argument.

"You expect me to wait until morning to know more?" I shrieked, horrified at the idea of waiting even a second more for some answers.

He answered with a straightforward, "Yes."

The simple reply threw me for a loop. I forced myself to take a deep, calming breath as I thought over his suggestion. I had to admit, it was partially selfish motivation that had me feeling so desperate to wake Chris and grill him for information. Edward appeared to see my defenses weaken slightly, and he used the opportunity to continue strengthening his point.

"Nothing is going to change between now and then. I think it would be better if you approach him with somewhat of a nonchalant attitude about all of it."

I was more than a little shocked as he continued to speak. "Don't ask him directly if he hears thoughts, but rather, ask him if _sometimes_ he thinks he knows what someone will say before they say it. Ask him if he can tell when someone is thinking about something really hard."

I listened to him, strongly compelled to hear every word due to the gravity of his confession. I felt like he was imploring me to do exactly what he wished for more of in his own life. A mix of love and appreciation blossomed, and the warmth it caused was invaluable in bringing me peace.

"Edward, are you speaking from experience right now?" I surprised myself with the question as it poured from my lips.

His eyes locked on mine. He cocked his head slightly, and his jaw tensed while he paused.

"I just think it would be better if you're careful not to appear frightened by any admission that he may make," he said quietly, his eyes refusing to meet mine.

I focused on the feel of his hands, which were now resting on my hips. He held me loosely, each hand splayed so that his fingers were braced lightly against the small of my back, and his thumbs laid on the waistband of my jeans.

"Of course, that makes sense."

"You'll know what to do," He said confidently.

"Will I? Because, right now, I'm clueless."

He gave me the first, small smile in a while. I was momentarily shocked at how much I'd missed it.

"Yes. I have no doubt that you'll be exactly what he needs," Edward continued to try and boost my confidence. It helped. A little.

"I'll do my best," I whispered, internally swearing on everything of worth in my life that I would be strong for Chris. I would do what Edward was encouraging, because I knew he was truly looking out for my son...again.

"You're trembling," he said after another moment of silence.

"I'm okay," I answered as I noticed for the first time the quiet chattering of my teeth. That was odd.

"Are you cold?"

"Not really. I just can't stop the shaking," I replied, making a concentrated effort to get better control over my body.

"It's a little shock," he whispered.

"Mmhmm," I replied.

"I think a warm shower might help you. It will warm you up and help the tension."

"I don't know. I think if I just sit down, I'll feel better" I began, feeling my knees wobble and a tingly sensation run up my calves.

"Of course," he replied only an instant before his arm wrapped completely around me, holding me close to his side as he maneuvered us to the couch. I had no trouble walking, but he didn't seem willing to leave me alone, and I did not want him to.

He bent until I was gingerly resting on the couch. Once I was firmly seated, he moved at an inhuman pace to grab the afghan off my reading chair. He returned and covered me, ensuring the blanket left only my neck and head exposed.

"Thanks."

"Bella, you do realize that this changes nothing, right?" He said as he sat carefully on the coffee table in front of me. He bent and rested his forearms on his thighs, bringing his head as close to me as possible. His hands were hanging just in front of his knees, and I stared at his strong, but elegant fingers. There were no veins visible underneath the pale skin, but I could almost detect the remnants of their bluish tint. I noted the way the tips of his fingers occasionally flexed toward me.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

His tongue snaked out in a flash, swiping across his lips as he formulated his response.

"He's still the exact same little boy you've spent the last five years raising."

I groaned involuntarily at the power of his words. Somehow, he managed to squash any remaining panic with one statement. The simple truth of it was extremely powerful. Left to my own devices, I would have come to the same conclusion...eventually, but his reassuring attitude was a comfort on so many levels.

"Edward," I cried, sitting up quickly from my relaxed position against the back of the couch. I flailed my arms, annoyed until the pesky blanket fell from me. His forehead crinkled, and his eyebrows drew together in confusion until he realized what I wanted. Silently, he shifted his body to the very edge of the table, and had only seconds to brace himself before I was in his lap. I tucked my face into the crook of his neck and sighed when his arms wrapped fully around me. He held me tightly.

I felt his lips ghosting over my temple before they came to rest over my ear. He was not breathing.

"I can't help but feel guilty for causing you all of this pain right now," he whispered timidly.

I had my arms pinned between us, curled up to my own chest. At his words, I untucked them and pulled back to see his face.

"If I wasn't here to meet him, you would have no idea. If not for my ability, you'd be none the wiser."

I think I must have visibly balked at his words, because he immediately continued on, "It's true. If you've never suspected anything before, it's only my arrival that's caused you this newfound worry."

"Don't say another word. Do you think ignorance is bliss?" I demanded.

He only stared at me.

"Can you really think I would rather not know?" I asked, realizing as I spoke, just how strongly I felt about my stance.

Edward pondered my words before nodding his head.

"I was wrong," he said.

I arched an eyebrow and waited for more.

"Again," he muttered, biting his lower lip while the corners of his mouth hinted at another smile.

"Yeah," I sighed, returning my head to his shoulder.

"You're even more of an amazing mother than I gave you credit for," he whispered, and I pressed my lips to the cool skin of his neck, seeking to both comfort and be comforted.


	9. Chapter 9

Edward always possessed an unnatural ability to soothe me. A simple press of his lips to my skin, a whispered word, a steadying hand on my back, or even a gesture as simplistic as a quick glance full of reassurance did the trick. It always worked, and as I rested in his arms for the second night in a row, I grew even more certain that it always would.

As I continued to sit in his lap, unsure of what my next move should be, I felt him move to adjust me slightly. He lifted me under my arms and repositioned my body so that I was sitting more on his thighs, and not flush against him. Ever the gentleman, he gave me a polite smile and pressed a quick kiss to my forehead. I forced a tiny smile for him and then found myself staring at his mouth. I had no idea what he would consider acceptable. We were yet to really discuss the future, or what either of us were looking for, but there was some sort of silent understanding that we were back to where we'd been before he left. I felt seventeen again. I wanted him.

I settled for a kiss to his cheek. I heard him sigh and watched his beautiful eyes close in what seemed like an attempt to savor every second of my lips on his skin. He returned my affection by sliding his hands up my waist lightly, stopping when I felt his fingers brush against my ribs. I was quiet, confused slightly at the soft stroking of his thumbs as they moved around to trace up my back and stop on my shoulder blades. His touch felt timid.

While I'd been impressed by his upfront attitude and honestly thus far, there was a huge part of him that he was so carefully controlling, and I felt the beginnings of a familiar form of frustration blossoming when he carefully moved me a bit further from his body.

"I'm not going to break," I whispered, staring him down and challenging him silently to argue.

He met my stare gently.

"I know. It's just been so long, Bella, and you're kind of.." his voice trailed off, and he turned his head away to stare out the sliding glass doors to my backyard.

I watched him quietly, careful not to force his hand at ending our embrace completely. I wasn't sure if his hesitancy involved control over his desire for my blood, or control he felt needed to be exerted over lust. I felt fairly certain that he wanted physical affection as well, and I was confident that the passion I felt for him was mutual, but with minimal conversation about feelings, I didn't know what he thought the progression would be. I didn't know what I hoped to have with him six months down the line. I only knew that I wanted him around. Always.

He came back, and that was the catch. It was a done deal in my mind. He came back, and he had to stay. The fact that life without him was preposterous was so clear the minute he returned. It seemed like a piece of knowledge that I'd always known but did a fantastic job of ignoring.

"I'm kind of what?" I prodded as I realized he had literally trailed off and failed to finish his thought – something Edward _rarely_ does.

He always has the words to express his thoughts. One of the countless reasons I fell head over heels for him was his articulate and verbose nature. He always had so much to tell, and he does it with nearly as much artistry as he shows with his musical ability. To see him fail with words was just another indicator that he was not the same anymore. He'd changed, too. He was different because of what we'd both experienced; time away from one another, and time to realize that what we had was not something that would fade with any length of separation.

I heard him sigh lightly. He turned back to look at me. His eyes were full of gentleness, and I tried my best to mirror his expression. It seemed to work. He continued speaking.

"You're kind of overwhelming me. And, you're overwhelmed, for a lot of reasons. I don't feel fear that I won't be able to control myself like I used to, but it's so difficult."

I couldn't stop the bewildered look that I know was smeared all over my face. If he wasn't fearful about control, what was the problem? I thought hard about my actions around him and was unable to find anything that would be a real challenge for him.

"I'm sorry?" I said, infusing a slight questioning tone in my response because I was slightly confused by his admission. I was sorry even if I didn't know my exact offense. If anything I'd done had made his return more difficult than necessary, I wanted to know so that I could avoid it in the future.

"No." The moment he spoke, he stood, placing me gently on my feet in the small space between the coffee table and couch. He walked a few feet away from me. I felt frustration flare and mentally screamed at myself not to let it get out of control.

"I don't understand," I offered.

"Bella, it's just that you've accepted me back into your life so fully and unconditionally, and I desperately want to believe that I made the right decision when I revealed myself, but I still don't belong here."

"This again?" I sighed, and Edward looked indignant for a moment as he contemplated my seemingly flippant response.

"Yes. This again. I won't pretend that I'm not scared I made a mistake."

Any fight I'd been strengthening dissipated instantly with his response. Again, it was just so brutally honest, and it was so damn refreshing. He was blatant with his thoughts, and I reveled in the ability to see him for the different man he had become.

"It wasn't a mistake. I think you know that deep down. We both know it."

"Nine years doesn't change anything then?" He asked, tilting his head slightly and looking frustrated for a moment.

"It has changed a lot, but the part that matters, no. Never."

"What part is that?"

"Edward..."

"What part?"

"It's obvious."

"Not to me."

"Don't say that."

"Bella, I need to hear it." He blurted, and I felt myself moving closer to him even though I don't think I made a conscious decision to walk.

"I look too old for you now," I said softly, smiling as he huffed and gave me an exasperated look.

"Don't be ridiculous. You don't look a day over twenty. You know that, and you're fishing for compliments, not to mention trying to change the subject." He recognized my attempt at lightening his mood. Smart guy.

"No, I don't like fishing."

"Not funny."

"I'm older than you," I said, smiling innocently while expecting his response before he even registered my comment.

"I'm older than your great grandfather would be if he were still alive."

Exactly as I had anticipated.

"I have crows feet starting. Look, right here," I said, pointing at my face while I smiled broadly, scrunching up my cheeks and forcing what I knew looked like a ridiculously cheesy grin to create otherwise non-existent wrinkles around my eyes.

He arched an eyebrow at me and rolled his eyes. He actually rolled his eyes. I had to fight to suppress my own laughter at how much it reminded me of Chris.

"You're gorgeous."

"Yeah, right. I think your eyesight must be faltering, like my own, with _old age_. In fact, can you come closer because I can only see your teeth, sonny."

I thought I saw a twitch of his lips at that, but he regained composure instantly.

"Bella..."

"Yes?"

"I mean it. You're beautiful."

He still wasn't breaking.

"Nope. Gravity is doing a number here. Just look at these," I said cheerily, grabbing the hem of my shirt and lifting it only a millimeter to tease him before he smiled brightly while shaking his head in disbelief.

I watched happily as a small chuckle broke free. It seemed to come from his belly, and that instantly reinforced my efforts. It was genuine.

"You know that old song, 'Do your ears hang low?'" I asked seriously as I continued with my feigned attempt to lift my shirt.

Edward's eyes widened, and he looked genuinely horrified for a moment before the most heartwarming sound met my ears with real gusto. His laugh was hearty, and I couldn't stop my own. His eyes shone with vitality. I marveled at the beauty there as they darkened slightly with each passing second.

"Do they wobble to and fro, can you tie them in a knot, can you tie them in a?'" I sang in broken giggles, only succeeding in making it through two and a half lines before he closed the distance between us and pressed a finger to my lips, effectively silencing me with just his touch.

"Have you ever been so turned on?" I asked, not able to stop myself from extending his lighthearted mood for as long as possible.

I knew everything would be different in the morning and there would be so much to uncover, handle, and digest. But, this playful moment with him, where he seemed truly unguarded was priceless to me. It would be my source of reinforcement through the challenges to come, and it was very effective.

"I can hardly contain myself," Edward spoke quickly, nodding his head and smiling brightly.

It was my laughter that seemed to explode uncontrollably at that point. He knew what he said, and I marveled at the proud, loving look on his face.

"Nicely played."

He grew quiet after my response.

"I've missed you so much, Bella," he said suddenly, silencing me in a second with his change in demeanor. He was staring at me intensely.

"Me too. Definitely, me too. If you thought I ever stopped missing you, you were wrong. It's never been the same since you."

"You have been happy, though," he asked, and I sensed the urgency in his half statement, half question.

"Yes. Of course. I've been happy, but there's different kinds of happy, you know?" I asked, hoping he would understand, because I didn't know how to explain it fully.

"I know."

Edward reached out and ran his hands down my arms, stopping when his fingers gently grasped at mine before intertwining boldly. I squeezed his hands and felt the answering caress of his thumb.

"You're tired," he whispered after a moment of quiet.

"A little," I admitted, feeling the totality of the day's events beginning to ware through the adrenaline of the night.

His calm, soothing presence was only increasing my exhaustion, but I wasn't ready for him to go.

"Would you like to watch a movie? I don't want you to leave yet."

His eyes shifted to the floor for a second before flashing back to mine.

"I'd really like that."

"Okay, good. You go pick one out," I said, pointing to the cabinet of DVD's.

"I'm going to put on some sweats. I'll be right back. Make yourself at home."

"Okay."

Once in my bedroom, I grabbed some matching sweats, smiling at the fact that they were at least a small improvement over the ratty ones Edward saw me in as a teenager and made my way to the bathroom. I brushed my teeth thoroughly, washed my face clean of any makeup still hanging on, and pulled my hair up. It was amazing what a refreshing effect the simple bedtime routine had on me since I knew Edward was waiting for me in the den. Usually, the nighttime ritual provided no wind-down from the day. It only meant that I'd be retreating to an empty bed and lonely night.

I took a deep breath and left the bathroom. I tip-toed into Chris' room and neared his bed cautiously. He was sound asleep on his stomach, his left arm at his side, while his right was thrown out across the expanse of his small bed. I smiled at the soft snoring and moved to pull the blanket to cover his upper back.

"Night, sweetheart. I love you," I whispered with a kiss to the back of his head. The smell of shampoo was fresh in his hair, and I closed my eyes at the perfect smell. My baby.

I made my way back to the den, and when I rounded the corner, my heart warmed at the sight that greeted me. Edward had gathered a big blanket and placed it at my favorite end of the sofa, my coffee mug was steaming on the side table, and he had what I quickly recognized as "Field of Dreams" cued up on the screen waiting to be played. I shot him a grin and moved to curl up on the couch.

"Costner, huh?" I asked as I looked at him across the room by the TV.

He came to join me silently, sitting to my right, only a few inches separating us. I pulled my legs up and curled them underneath me while reaching for the cup.

"Hot chocolate from the cupboard," he said before I was able to determine what it was for myself.

"Perfect. Thanks," I answered, taking a sip and marveling at the perfect temperature. Of course.

We settled in, and I scooted closer, leaning my head on his shoulder. He reacted instantly. He raised his arm, and I did not waste any time snuggling into his side. Our position was chaste, but it was enough for me.

I think I stayed awake through the opening credits, maybe the first five minutes, if I was lucky.

I bolted upright in my bed, glancing around quickly and struggling to make out anything in the pitch black darkness of my room. I looked to my alarm clock and was surprised to see that it was four o' clock. I couldn't remember going to bed, and the haziness of confusion and disorientation had my heart speeding, and a nervous flutter starting in my belly.

"You fell asleep on the couch. I thought you would be much more comfortable in here so I carried you," his voice was incredibly soft and came from the corner of my room.

I held my breath while he spoke, waiting as my eyes adjusted to the light. There was surprise at the fact that he had stayed, but more than anything, I felt a huge sense of relief and gratitude knowing that he would be my rock. I could only make out the profile of his face and his stark white hands on the arms of my reading chair. Hardly any moonlight filtered through the shutters.

"Thank you," I whispered, before I reached my left hand out, grabbed the top of my down comforter and pulled it back roughly.

"Here," I said, motioning subtly to my side at the wide space of empty bed.

I heard him stand immediately, and I watched in fascination as he came to lay stiffly in the spot I'd indicated.

He did not touch any part of my body with his. Obviously, he didn't understand me.

"No. Here," I said again, this time turning to grab him. My voice was groggy and needy.

I wrapped my arms around his strong torso and tugged. I thought I heard him chuckle briefly as his body did not budge. I tugged again, letting out a little "humph" as I tried once more.

This time, his body rolled easily to my side. I closed my eyes instinctively at the feel of him filling my arms. I rested my head on his chest, and wormed my way even deeper into his arms. I was conscious just long enough to register him stretching his arms before I felt the comforter slide over our bodies, coming to rest tucked under my chin.

Edward was home.


	10. Chapter 10

It was a very deep two and a half hours of sleep that followed. It seemed as though I only blinked before Edward was pressing his lips, cool and soft, against my forehead while whispering to me.

"Bella, Bella...I'm sorry. I hate to wake you, but it's nearly seven," he explained, his body shifting away from me. I instantly missed the feel of him against my body. It felt as if he was providing some sort of grounding effect. I longed for his arms, hesitant as they may have been, to stay wrapped around me.

Groaning softly, I rolled onto my back and turned my head to the side to stare at him. His face was controlled, and I couldn't tell what kind of mood he was in. There was no gauging his emotions, and that left me unsettled.

"You're leaving?"

His eyes immediately began studying the pattern of my sheets, avoiding me completely.

"I just don't know what you're comfortable with. Won't he wonder why I'm still here?" His voice dripped with anxiety, and I understood his concerns, but I was growing frantic to know more about the mind reading abilities Edward was sure my son suddenly possessed.

"I can't do this without you," I said as I threw out any hope of censoring myself.

"I'll come back. Once he's up, and you've had breakfast; I'll be back?" He asked, the questioning tone apparent. He was asking for my approval. It irritated me. I never thought I would feel frustrated with Edward refusing to take the lead, but I did. I wanted him to say that it was all going to be under control, his control. I needed him to have a plan because I sure didn't.

"I don't think that's necessary."

"Bella..."

"He is five. He's not going to think anything of you being here when he wakes up...as long as we're both dressed and not in my bedroom."

"Still," He began. I held up a hand in front of his face, effectively silencing him, but I didn't miss the quiet grumble that followed as I got out of bed and grabbed some jeans from the top shelf of my closet.

I felt Edward's eyes on me as I stood with my back to him. I knew I had about ten minutes before Chris would be up and bounding down the hallway. While I picked a sapphire blue sweater and black boots to complete my outfit, I tried to prioritize exactly what I wanted to question Chris about first. I felt fairly confident that his potential abilities did not apply to me. Surely, I would have caught on if he was able to anticipate my words, answer unspoken commentary, or catch me lying. Like any mother, I have white lied my way out of tantrums, trouble, and turmoil. If he was truly capable of hearing my thoughts, he did a fantastic job of never letting onto it.

"I'll go to the kitchen then. Let you get ready," Edward spoke quietly from where he remained on my bed.

I turned and ran my hands through my hair, pulling it up and securing it with a tie that was sitting on my dresser. I thought nothing of my actions, but suddenly, Edward was a few inches from me, his eyes piercing and his tongue swiping out quickly to wet his bottom lip.

I stilled my movements and looked expectantly at him.

"Edward?"

He continued staring at me, scaring me slightly with the pained expression that took over his features as the seconds passed.

"You used to do that all the time, exactly the same way. You would gather your hair, and then smooth it three times into the ponytail. You'd run your hand over it, once on the left, once on the right, then one more time on the left. Then, you secure it with the band and tug once, making it snug. Watching you just then, it was like not even a single day has passed since I was with you in Forks. It felt like time rewound itself."

I was growing quickly re-accustomed to his angst filled confessions, but that one made a serious dent at my morning resolve. It was just so heartbreakingly honest and cute.

"Time doesn't have to rewind. We're still the same people, you and me," I said, waiting for a minute as I stared into his fierce eyes unflinchingly. They were chalk full of raw emotion. I wanted nothing more than to soothe him, provoke him into acting out some of his restrained passion, and make him stop looking so damn conflicted all the time.

He did not respond to me. I took his quietness as an opportunity to escape and change my clothes, figuring it would probably completely disarm him if I stripped down and changed right there in front of him.

"Going to get dressed," I whispered, as I opened my bedroom door and walked quietly to the bathroom.

I only closed the door partially, wanting to be able to hear Chris the moment he came out of his bedroom. I rushed through washing my face and brushing my teeth, stopping only to apply some mascara and lip gloss before I slipped on the fresh clothes and made a mental promise to take a long, relaxing shower later to make up for the past couple mornings of mixed up routines. I really needed to shave, and I absolutely hated missing my morning shower. It made me feel like I never accomplished a thing, and I end up writing the whole day off as a waste and feeling like a slob while I'm at it. I took a long look at myself in the mirror. My eyes were bright and clear, and my skin looked to have some of its old glow back. I wasn't naive or foolish enough to think that Edward's reappearance was the reason for it, but I struggled to find an alternative for my seemingly vibrant appearance. The moment I thought of Chris though, it seemed as if worry lines instantly appeared, and my eyes darkened with anxiety. It was time to get some answers.

I stepped into the hall and looked quickly into my bedroom, assuming Edward would not be there. I did not hear him head to the kitchen, but if I knew him at all, he would not want to risk remaining in my room any longer than necessary in the event that Chris found him there. He considered the kitchen neutral territory - safe ground.

Just as I suspected, Edward stood with his head half inside my refrigerator. The sight was comical for many reasons. He was bent at the waist, and his hair was absolutely glowing under the harsh light of the interior bulb, but the part that got me was the confused look on his face as he studied the contents with a grimace. I cleared my throat softly and quirked a brow at him.

"Oh, hi. I was just looking for some eggs. I figured I could scramble some for you two," he explained. I didn't miss the way his eyes slightly widened at the vibrant shade of blue I chose to wear. Some things never change.

"Ahh, well, that is very sweet of you, but he hates eggs with a passion. He won't even touch anything with mayonnaise on it ever since my mom blew it and told him what it's made out of," I replied.

Edward chuckled lightly. It made me smile as I felt the air around us settle with a comfortable warmth. I moved to his side after that while he continued to hold the door open. I leaned over him to grab a banana.

He looked confused again.

"Why do you keep those in there?"

"The bananas?" I asked, throwing him a backwards glance as I pulled out a small pot and filled it with some water before setting it to boil on the stove.

"Yes."

"Personally, I don't like them cold, but if they are, when I slice them into the oatmeal, they cool it down perfectly right away. Plus, they don't get '_all mushy_!' that way," I explained, quoting and imitating Chris with the last part.

He chuckled at me again.

"What's so funny?"

He smiled once more before perfecting a peaceful, serious face.

"Nothing. Sorry."

"No, tell me," I added, throwing in my own little laugh, hoping to encourage him to spill it.

I turned to face him, leaning my hip against the counter as I studied him. He looked so right, just standing there in my kitchen, doing absolutely nothing, just being there.

"Because waiting for the oatmeal to cool down enough to eat by itself is not an option?" He offered gently with a smirk.

I laughed fully.

"Not with a Kindergartner in the house. Time is of the essence, buddy," I said with a big smile. His point made sense, but mine was reality.

"Why don't you just add an ice cube once it's done?"

I huffed in feigned resignation.

"Okay, now you're just being a smarty pants," I teased, biting my lip to stop the huge grin as I turned back and added a dash of salt to the nearly boiling water before grabbing a big carton of oatmeal from the cupboard in front of me. As I pulled off the lid and scooped a bit out, I heard Chris' feet running down the hallway. I froze, watching as flakes of oatmeal poured from my measuring cup into the bubbling water when his perfect voice reached my ears.

"Awesome. You're still here!"

Edward cleared his throat once as he turned to face him.

"I told you he'd be back," I said, pleased to find that my voice was stronger than I anticipated. I lowered the heat on his oatmeal, forcing myself to take things one step at a time.

I turned around to see Edward chewing on his bottom lip in what appeared to be intense concentration. I briefly thought about what those teeth could do to my lips, noting how firmly he seemed to be biting down. Only his own lip was safe from the incredible strength there. He drew my attention back to the situation as he offered me a little bit of comfort by half smirking through the intense gaze. He'd caught me.

The kitchen was quiet until Chris made a production of grabbing a cup from the counter and retrieving the carton of orange juice from the fridge. It looked like Edward's hands were just itching to steady the cup as he poured until it nearly overflowed. Chris had to stand on his toes to reach the counter. It was slightly precarious, and I've mopped up more than my fair share of spilt attempts in the past, but he is_ a big boy, _and he can_ do it himself_. His words, of course, not mine. Edward restrained the urge to take over, and I found it endearing that he wanted to help as much as possible but knew it was something Chris could do on his own.

Suddenly, Chris laughed brightly.

"I think they're nasty too! Have you ever smelled a rotten one?" Chris blurted, childhood curiosity dripping from his voice as he shuffled past the both of us on his way to the kitchen table.

I furrowed my brow, and a little, "huh?" escaped me as I finished with the oatmeal. I removed it from the stove, reaching to get a bowl when Chris spoke again.

"Eggs. Edward doesn't like them either."

I know my eyes widened. My heart sped up, and that sick feeling of panic squeezed at my stomach for a minute until I felt Edward moving closer.

"It's okay. I'm going to keep going, alright?" He whispered to me, as I went through the motions of stirring in some brown sugar and taking out a knife to slice the banana into the bowl. I nodded my head vigorously. I felt like screaming at him that I didn't even know he had started! I felt so out of the loop, but I trusted Edward completely, and some part of me knew that he was just as eager to know more as I was.

"So, Chris, you said something about Friday Fun Day last night. That sounds pretty cool. What goes on all day?" Edward asked.

I moved to the table and sat across from Chris, motioning at the chair to my left as Edward slowly followed. I placed the bowl of oatmeal in front of my baby, and he gave me a huge grin.

"Thanks, mommy. Did you forget the raisins or did they all sink to the bottom?"

"Oh, shoot. I'll get them," I said quickly, dashing to the pantry to grab the red container. Talk about fixing up your oatmeal. My kid does it in style. I remembered the look of horror on Chris' face when Charlie tried to hand him a bowl of instant oatmeal once when we spent the night because of a bad storm. He practically blanched.

"We only do a little bit of school stuff in the morning, then we play all day. We get games and music and cookies."

I dropped a kiss on his forehead while I plopped a handful of raisins into his bowl. I held his short hair back in my hands for a moment before wrapping my arms lightly around his upper body, smacking a kiss against his cheek as he stirred his breakfast with concentration.

"I love her too," he whispered intensely, turning his head slightly into my neck as he kept stirring. I arched a brow and replied, slightly confused, "You love me?"

Edward shifted subtly in his chair.

"Yeah."

"Why did you say her?" I asked.

Chris did not hesitate at all with his response, "Edwaed told me you love me very much, and I just said I love you too," he replied smoothly, acting as if I should have known all of that.

If there was any part of me that was trying to deny Edward's theory, it died in that instant. A sweeping sense of acceptance spread through me, permeating every belief and feeling from that point on. Regardless of when an explanation would come, it was a fact. Edward was obviously conversing with him silently. First the eggs, then the love. It was a done deal. I chanced a look into Edward's eyes and nodded, wanting to give him some sign that I believed him.

"What about me?" I mouthed to him as I moved to take my seat, pointing at myself animatedly.

Edward pursed his lips for a second and looked back at Chris, smiling as a drop of oatmeal fell off his heaping spoon on the way to his mouth.

"That looks like really good oatmeal," Edward began.

"Yup."

"Is there anything else you like to add to it?"

"Not really. Just nanas and raisins."

He spoke between and through big bites. Such a boy.

"What about your mom? What does she like in there?"

After he spoke, Edward turned and stared at me meaningfully. I looked into his eyes for a moment in brief confusions before realizing he wanted me to think of something, anything Chris wouldn't be familiar with me adding to my oatmeal. I immediately began chanting "chocolate chips" like a crazy woman in my head. I turned to stare at Chris, practically burning a hole with my eyes into the bowl he was diligently eating out of.

Chris took a moment to breathe between bites and looked happily at Edward.

"Ehh, she just likes it normal I think," he answered, returning his attention to the food in front of him.

I took a deep breath, a mixture of relief enveloping me at his apparent inability to hear me. I knew it. It simply didn't seem possible that he had been hearing my thoughts all along and I never knew, but what about other people? I opened my eyes to find Edward staring at me intently. He looked relieved as well. He gave me a small smile that seemed to say 'I told you everything would be okay.'

"Others?" I whispered to Edward.

He nodded once before returning his attention to Chris. I decided to try and help any way that I could.

"Do your classmates likes Friday Fun Day too?" I asked.

"Duh, mom!"

I had to laugh at that response, even if it was a little impolite of him to reply like that in front of company. I typically would have scolded him gently, but the question was pretty ridiculous. I just couldn't think of how to get to the point.

"What about your teacher? Does she like it as much as you guys do?" Edward asked smoothly.

Of course, the question seemed so obvious once it spilled from his perfect lips. I have personally seen that classroom at the end of a Friday afternoon, and there is no way any sane person could call that enjoyable. His teacher obviously suffered through it for the kids, and if Chris was truly capable of hearing other's thoughts, he'd know her true feelings about it.

"She _loves_ it! Sometimes, she even lets our classroom helper, Miss Weber, take our class for the afternoon so she gets to have some of the fun too." Chris practically glowed as he spoke.

Edward and I laughed heartedly at his innocence. It was adorable. I decided I liked his teacher just a little more for that cute excuse. But the best part, Chris was oblivious. I felt fairly confident then that his gift, for some reason still completely unexplained, applied only to Edward.

"Angela?" Edward asked with a smile after his soft laughter died down.

"Yes, she's finishing her credentials next summer. She aides his class now." I answered, referring to our mutual friend.

"That's great," he said quietly, and I frowned softly at the tender sadness that flashed across his face.

He quickly erased it and focused on Chris once again. I decided to ask him later what that was all about. I wondered if it bothered him more than he ever let on, to leave so many people behind every time his family picked up and changed scenery. I knew he rarely made personal connections with anyone outside of his family, so I assumed there wasn't much of a precedent for it...before me.

"I'm stuffed."

"You did a great job," Edward said, reaching out to ruffle Chris's hair ever so gently before picking up his empty bowl and moving slowly to the sink with it. I saw a brief flash of panic on Edward's face when he realized how naturally he had just acted. I don't think he made the decision to show Chris any affection. He acted on impulse, and I knew that bothered Edward greatly. It did not bother me at all. In fact, it looked absolutely perfect, and it did not escape me that Chris just beamed in response.

"You don't have to do that, Edward." I said, sighing when he began running the sink.

"I know. I want to." He responded to me easily, sending a wink in my direction as I stood and motioned for Chris to scoot to his bedroom.

"Let's go get you dressed."

"K."

Chris took off running to his room, the sound of drawers opening only second later. I moved to follow him, stopping behind Edward as he washed the bowl and pan, to wrap my arms around him from behind. I smiled into his back when he didn't stiffen in response to my embrace. I felt him lean back gently into my arms so I tightened my hold, moving my hands to squeeze them around his upper arms once.

"Thank you," I breathed into the back of his shirt.

"Of course."

"You'll tell me everything?"

"Absolutely."

"I feel a little better about whatever is going on," I admitted softly.

Edward took a deep breath, filling his lungs with air that was not vital but still somehow desired.

"Me too, Bella."

With that, I withdrew my hands completely and went to see what fantastic outfit my son had donned for the day. I didn't have all the answers I needed, but I had enough to relax me for the time being. More importantly, I had Edward on my team, and as his helpful role that morning had just reaffirmed for me, there was no one else I'd rather have at my side.


	11. Chapter 11

I broke my all time record driving Chris to school that morning. I never topped the speed limit, but I came close more than a few times, and I steered clear of the slow lane the entire way. The irony of driving faster than I normally would did not escape me. Edward's notorious tendency for speed definitely ingrained itself in my mind. Any time Josh would venture past sixty-five, he accused me of passenger seat braking. I firmly insisted I was just flexing my right leg. He never bought it.

Men get very defensive about their driving skills. This is something I learned when I was quite young but have had reaffirmed ever since. Josh went so far as promising Chris, when he was just a toddler in the back seat, that his father would be the only one teaching him to drive when it was time. He was certain I'd give our child a complex, paralyzing him with a fear strong enough to deter him from driving a day in his life. Craziness. Although, I do think raising the legal driving age to oh, say...twenty-five is ideal. It just makes sense. After all, you can be the best driver in the world; it's all the other crazies behind the wheel that you have no control over.

Chris was happy as a clam when we left the house. Edward was still there as we were walking out the door, promising once again to be back later that night. He mentioned something to me while Chris was brushing his teeth about needing to hunt, but he made sure to tell me that he would be staying somewhat "local" to do so. I understood his needs completely, but I'd be lying if I said it didn't bother me a little that he would be gone all day again. I was hoping for some alone time with him while Chris was at school. He seemed to be very aware of little ears whenever he was in my house, and I was eager for some time where that fear would not exist at all for him.

I talked about all kinds of things with Chris as we walked into school. I paid careful attention to him as we passed his friends and other parents. He never gave any indication of breaking his train of thought with me in order to listen to anyone's thoughts. I was slowly becoming confident in my belief that any unnatural ability, for some still very unexplained reason, applied only to Edward.

"I hope you have a really fun day," I said as we breezed through the door into his classroom.

He smiled brightly before crossing the room to put his backpack in its assigned cubby. I followed with his sweatshirt.

"Don't forget this. It will be cold at lunch," I said as I bent down to put it away.

"Thanks."

He leaned forward and threw his arms around my neck, burying his face in my hair.

"Love you, Mommy," he mumbled, and I held him tightly.

"I love you, Chris. I'll see you at three."

Chris nodded once before turning and walking out the door to presumably join his buddies on the playground. I trailed after him, eager to get back to the house and see if Edward was still there, but also content to take my time and watch Chris as he ran through the gate to the swings.

"Bella!"

I turned just in time to see Jacki, mom to one of Chris' closest friends, rounding the corner toward the classrooms.

"Hi, Jacki. How are you?"

"Oh, I'm hanging in there. You know," she said with a huge smile as she motioned at her ever expanding belly.

I nodded happily, remembering with perfect clarity the months of nausea and zero energy I endured during my own pregnancy. I was not one of the lucky pregnant women you see glowing with happiness and excitement. In fact, I don't think I left the tile of our bathroom floor for the first two months after the first home pregnancy test proved positive in twenty seconds instead of the necessary two minutes. It was miserable. Nothing could have prepared me for it, but I tried my best not to let it dampen my spirit or attitude. Once the shock wore off, I was thankful. Everyone was very supportive, constantly reminding me that the sickness was an indicator of a strong pregnancy. Regardless, I was truly thrilled and thankful to be pregnant. We may not have planned any of it, but I was immediately convinced of my future. It included the child that had me praying to the porcelain gods incessantly. Of that much, I was sure.

Jacki paused to kiss her son, Jance, goodbye. She zipped up his sweatshirt, chuckling as she wiped lip gloss off his cheek while he grimaced in feigned disgust.

"Have a fun one, Jance," I called as he smiled in my direction and took off running.

I turned back to her, "It's great to see you. You look fantastic."

She laughed lightly, giving me a wink as she disappeared inside with all of Jance's belongings.

I shoved my hands in my pockets and leaned against the wall as I waited.

"I think I'm driving my husband crazy. He looked absolutely terrified when I burst into tears over running out of syrup this morning," she mumbled as she reemerged from the classroom.

"Sounds about right," I replied with a soft smile.

"I don't know, Bella." She continued with a sigh, "It's even worse this time."

I gave her another sympathetic nod. A part of me really wanted to stand around and catch up, but I was just too eager to get home and back to Edward. I hoped that maybe he'd still be there when I returned. I knew the chances were slim, but a girl could dream.

"So, what is new with you? I saw Josh picking Chris up last Friday. How is that going?"

Coming from anyone else, the very personal questions, asked in such a casual way, would have been upsetting but Jacki was the exception. She'd been there for me since the morning she found me crying in my car at the school. It was the first time I'd dropped Chris off with the knowledge that I wouldn't be the one picking him up. Josh was taking him for the weekend, and despite our weeks of preparation and talking about the new arrangement, I felt an overwhelming sense of failure and loneliness. I knew it was irrational, but that didn't mean I felt any less miserable.

_I barely got Chris situated in his classroom before the tears started. Josh assured me that he'd bring him home, or let him call me, at the first sign of homesickness. I trusted him to keep his word. He loves his son as much as I do. Unfortunately, none of that helped me survive the morning without plenty of tears. I must have checked four times to make sure his teddy bear and favorite set of p.j.'s were tucked safely inside his overnight bag. _

_I broke down once I was in the safety of my car. A few minutes later, I saw Jacki walking in my direction and hoped she'd just let me be. She stopped and gave me a sweet and knowing smile. I saw her wavering out of the corner of my eye before she made her decision and closed the distance between us. A soft knock on my driver's side window told me she was set on intervening. A big part of me was thankful that she was reaching out despite my desire to keep my personal life private. My mother was there for me as much as possible, but Jacki was an impartial third party. That made sharing with her appealing. She wasn't jaded by a divorce of her own. My experiences were not personal to her, and I thankfully slipped from my seat and into the passenger seat of hers after some gentle coaxing. _

_"Coffee and pancakes?" She asked softly as she drove us to a nearby cafe. _

_"Sure, and thank you. Just, thanks..." I trailed off quietly as I blew my nose into a tissue she'd offered just a moment before. _

_"No thanks needed."_

I saw that she was examining me carefully as she waited for an update on everything between me and Josh. I was tempted to tell her a little about Edward. I'd never shared about him with anyone in my life, other than my husband, who didn't know of our relationship when it happened. I suppressed a chuckle as I tried to imagine what I could possibly tell her. Explaining that a vampire from my past, one with whom I fell madly in love with, had returned in his immortal perfection when he thought my child was in danger would most likely prove...awkward to say the least.

"Things have been really good, thanks. I'm doing well. Chris has been fantastic. And, you?"

She absorbed my answer with an intense stare.

"I'm great. I'm trying to enjoy the last two months of having only one little guy at home. I can't believe how fast this pregnancy has gone."

"I understand. Everything changes with two, but you're a pro. It's only going to get better," I offered, sure of the fact that she would accept the new addition to her family with ease and joy.

"Let's hope so."

"Well, I would love to talk some more, but I have a doctor's appointment at nine. Can we get breakfast next week? Maybe Tuesday?" She asked, pausing as she pulled her cell phone from her purse.

"Tuesday sounds great. We need to catch up," I answered.

Her smile was genuine, "Absolutely."

"Have a great day, Jacki. Good luck with your appointment. Hope all goes well," I said as she turned and made her way to the parking lot.

"Thanks! Have a great weekend," she said as she was already half way across the yard.

I was right behind her, eager to get home for so many reasons.

I pulled into my driveway and raced to the front door. I didn't think he'd still be there, but I had to make sure before I gave up my hope of some time alone.

"Edward?" I called as I closed the door and walked into the family room.

I didn't feel his presence. I was fairly certain he would have met me in the entryway if he'd waited.

The house was empty. I sighed and decided it would be best to get some light housework done before the shopping I knew was needed to get us through the weekend.

I started for the kitchen when my heart skipped a beat. I caught sight of a figure in the corner of my den. Whipping around as quickly as possible, I gasped in recognition.

"Don't be scared."

There was complete silence after that. No one spoke or took a breath.

I could hear the kitchen clock ticking as her eyes roamed my face with frantic attention.

Alice. She was everything I remembered. She stood as still as a statue, caught in front of a side-table full of framed photos. She faced me with a shy, almost terrified looking smile.

The silence continued, and I realized that she looked uncharacteristically shocked.

"Bella," she finally spoke, breaking me free from enormity of the moment. As far as I knew, she wasn't going to arrive until sometime on Sunday so I was definitely unprepared.

"Alice."

Her eyes brightened at the sound of her name falling from my lips. It was an involuntary response to the situation. My mind was trying to catch up with my eyes. She continued to regard me carefully, the nervous smile never lessening.

"Oh my," she whispered in awe.

I arched an eyebrow slightly at that comment. What had her so surprised?

"May I hug you?" She asked with such sincerity and need in her voice. It struck me as ironic that this tiny woman, who was infinitely stronger and superior to me in every way, was asking permission to embrace me.

"Alice." I felt silly for only be able to utter her name again, but the truth was, I was as desperate for a reconciliation with her as I was for one with Edward.

I was so ready to be over all of it. It was as if something shifted in the universe...again. Being married, having a child, learning to be selfless, and just plain getting over myself taught me that I was done holding on to pains of the past.

"Yes, please," I managed to mumble. In the next instant, she was directly in front of me. Her piercing, golden eyes stared meaningfully at me for a second more before she moved forward and enveloped my body with her arms. She managed to snake them around my torso, exerting the perfect amount of pressure needed to comfortably draw me in. She turned her face and rested it on my shoulder.

"I'm probably not going to let go for a while," she spoke softly.

I laughed lightly at her words, tightening my arms around her in response.

"Oh, Bella. I've missed you so much. I wish I could explain," she began. I felt her cool breath through my sweater. It felt right.

I also felt immediately exhausted at the idea of rehashing the past with her. Edward and I had spent the last couple of nights going through the motions of understanding the mistakes and errors of our ways, and I had no desire to do the same with Alice. It was all the same.

"It's okay. I promise. It's all okay."

I felt her shaking her head back and forth subtly before slowly pulling back in order to make eye contact.

"It's definitely not okay. Look, I know you've been having these conversations with Edward, and I don't expect you to go through it all again with me, but I owe you my own apologies. We all do."

I was surprised at her ability to understand my feelings so completely.

"No apologies right now. Please. I just want to know how you've been," I began.

She smiled brightly for the first time. True joy shone in her eyes, and I took a breath in response to her overwhelming display of contentment.

"We're all doing much better now."

"Better now?"

"Yes."

She did not give me anything more to go off of.

"Things are better now, because?" I asked, hoping she would be suckered into providing more details.

"Because we've been missing a part of our family for a long time."

Her explanation made sense. A small seed of guilt took root at the thought that I was partly responsible for keeping Edward away from the rest of the Cullens for so long. I wondered if perhaps he'd underplayed the amount of time he spent here keeping an eye on me and Chris. Maybe it was too difficult for him to stay at home while everyone was coupled up. I was feeling worse by the minute.

"I'm so sorry for that," I began. I wasn't sure what else I could apologize for, but I knew that making life more painful for any of the Cullens was the last thing I wanted to be accountable for.

Alice's raised eyebrow and slightly confused look preceded her question, "You're apologizing?"

I looked honestly at her, not attempting to hide any emotions.

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Well, if he wasn't spending so much time here, or probably wallowing in guilt over the whole thing, he would have been home with you guys, where he belonged," I answered.

Alice actually flinched.

"Bella! I didn't mean Edward. Gosh, you are still as humble as ever."

There were no words to describe the mix of emotions at that revelation. She was actually implying that my absence from their lives had affected more than just Edward.

"I don't know what to say," I finally replied.

"You don't need to say anything. It's the truth."

We regarded each other quietly for a minute after that. Alice ran her hands over the bright yellow, cashmere sweater she wore. I wasn't used to her fidgeting, especially with her clothes.

"Umm, we should probably talk about what we're going to tell him when he finds out I came early."

"Right. He told me you wouldn't be here until Sunday."

"Yeah, well, that was the plan, but I just couldn't wait. I tried. Everyone will tell you I really did try."

I laughed lightly at the look of desperation on her angelic face.

"It's fine with me. I'm just worried about you know who. I won't tell him anything," I began, but Alice quickly cut me off by waving her hand nonchalantly in front of her.

"No use. He will know the minute he gets near the house."

Right. He would be able to smell that Alice had arrived.

She moved slowly back toward the bookshelf she'd presumably been observing when I arrived home. I saw her gaze fall on a framed photo of the whole family on Chris' second brithday. "It doesn't really matter anyway, Bella. He'll be angry at first, but the truth is, not much could make him stay mad right now."

"Why is that?"

She threw me a quirky smile over her shoulder before returning her attention to a standalone photo of Chris.

"Because he's too busy realizing that he won't be able to go another day without you in his life."

I was speechless after that. It all became so real in that instant.

"Sorry. I know that was a lot," she whispered once she saw my shocked expression.

I recovered as quickly as possible, "It's okay. It's just been so unexpected."

"Which part?"

"All of it."

She nodded her head emphatically before replying, "I understand and so does Edward. That's why he'll just have to get over the fact that I completely disregarded what he asked me to do."

"Uh oh," I mumbled.

Alice laughed lightly. She spoke carefully, "You will tell him that I showed up and was an emotional wreck. I just couldn't bear the fact that he was with you, and I couldn't begin trying to make amends as well."

"Okay," I started, but she was quick to cut me off and continue.

"You'll also tell him that Jasper will be here by tomorrow, and we will be back for a visit by seven tomorrow night."

"Right."

"And now, Bella..."

"Yes?" I asked, unsure of what would follow.

She looked at me happily before moving to clasp my hands in hers.

"We're not going to say another thing about Edward. In fact, I don't think his name will even come up. We're going to talk all about you. I want to know everything. Spare no details, and you better start with that amazing little guy over there," she explained, pointing her thumb backwards at one of my favorite pictures of Chris.

I laughed at her exuberance. I took a deep breath before motioning to the couch. We both sat. I began talking, and it was almost four hours before my stomach's persistent growling drove us from the house to a nearby diner. We were there for a good hour before I had to leave to pick up Chris. I don't think I'd ever talked so much at once in my life. We said our goodbyes, Alice leaving to meet Jasper, with plans for both of them to return on Saturday night. I felt happier and lighter than I had in years as I drove to the school that afternoon.

"Edward is here!"

Chris' voice echoed through the small bathroom just as I finished running a comb through his wet hair.

"How do you know? I didn't hear anything," I replied, glancing at the clock and realizing that it was almost eight.

"I hear him yelling!" He exclaimed with a carefree smile.

Uh oh. I quickly handed Chris his toothbrush, reminding him to squeeze the tube from the bottom, before excusing myself.

"Brush for two whole minutes!" I called back to Chris as I sped to the front door. I had a pretty good idea why Edward was "yelling", and I wanted to try and quell his fit before it really got off the ground.

I opened the front door and had to bite my lip from laughing at the site that greeted me. Edward stood half-way up the driveway, staring obstinately at the empty passenger seat of my car.

He was literally seething in anger and disbelief.

He whipped his head up to meet my eyes as soon as he heard my chuckle.

The slight tilt of his head and serious look told me tread lightly.

He composed himself quickly after my appearance. It quickly became veiled anger instead of outrage.

"Hi, Bella." His voice was gruff but very loving.

He was trying so hard. It was endearing.

"Hi, Edward." I gave him a small smile, shrugging my shoulders once in a sort of truce.

I wasn't going to play dumb.

"Alice has been here," he finally said.

I pursed my lips and nodded my head in agreement.

"I can't believe it," he grumbled, his fists clenched at his sides as he turned his head to face the street.

I assumed he didn't want me to see his lips moving as he spewed a few choice words for his dear sister under his breath. Ever the gentleman.

I made my decision quickly. I'd debated how I was going to broach the subject with him, but seeing his obvious hurt over the situation cemented my first plan. By the way that he jumped when my fingers reached out and gathered his fist into mine, he did not realize I left the porch. Carefully, I urged him to open his hand and then quickly snaked my fingers through his when he acquiesced.

The warmest pair of honey eyes flickered to mine. He took a deep, relaxing breath before moving to face me completely. I took his other hand in mine so that I held both. His fingers grasped mine desperately, still careful not to squeeze too hard.

"Try not to be too angry with her."

He huffed a little and turned his head away.

"Edward," I whispered, needing to see his eyes.

"Yes?" He immediately brought them back to me.

I smiled and reached up on the tips of my toes. His hands instinctively pulled themselves free from mine and wrapped around my waist in order to help me reach my intended target. I moved my hands to his neck and leaned closer. Once I was close enough to be able to whisper in his ear, I dropped a kiss on his neck instead and spoke.

"I had one of the best days possible in a _very_ long time today," I began.

Edward's fingers pressed lightly into the small of my back, anchoring me to him.

"I know that you guys had an agreement," I added, slowly moving my lips to ghost over the skin of his cheek.

"We did."

"Yes," I continued. "She is sorry, but please try to understand. It was too difficult to wait. She was very eager to explain and talk," I said.

Edward's fingers trailed partially up my back.

"I was so happy today," I added, hoping my sucker punch of a statement would work.

Edward bit his lower lip in concentration. I gave myself a mental high-five. He was trying so hard to remain angry, but I was playing dirty. He didn't stand a chance, poor guy.

"I'm glad she made you happy," he finally murmured, falling right into my trap.

"Mmm," I added, moving my lips slightly in order to kiss his jaw. It clenched slightly as my breath fanned out over his neck.

"She did."

"Okay," he answered.

"Not angry anymore?" I asked, smiling softly into the hollow of his throat.

Edward moaned.

"Not really. I can't concentrate enough," he whispered, pulling me even closer until our bodies were flush against each-other.

Victory.

"Bella," he groaned softly as I innocently wedged my hands between our chests and ran them, palms spread, down his stomach.

"Yes, Edward?"

"Did she put you up to this?"

I laughed loudly, loving how adorable he sounded. He gave me a serious look, desire and intensity pouring off of him in waves. I would not lie to him.

"No. When I said that she made it a good day, I meant it. But you, Edward, you make every day right. You make," I began, but his lips cut me off mid sentence.

His kiss was urgent but gentle. His arms wrapped around me, and I moaned contentedly against his mouth as he moved his lips brilliantly against, on, and around mine. His hands occasionally gripped my hips, light squeezes reinforcing the idea that he wanted more.

I tried to control my enthusiasm as I kissed him back. It was so perfect; it felt like I would never breathe again without him just like that. His lips caressed mine, and his hands were nearly painful as he anchored me, but it was the best sensation I could imagine. I could not get enough of him. Our mouths dueled in a sweet battle that I would gladly fight forever.

"Bella," he finally whispered, and I shivered as his cool breath mixed between us and in my mouth.

I pulled back only slightly as I ran my right hand over his cheek. He was panting slightly, and his forehead was crinkled in concentration. I was so proud of him for initiating the kiss. Part of me realized I'd been waiting for him to make the first move; I needed the confirmation that he was willing to take the risk. He most definitely jumped with both feet, and I was so thankful.

I ran my hands from his chest, up over his shoulders, and into the hair at the back of his neck. Another soft moan poured from his mouth as he leaned forward, seeking another kiss. His lips were softer, and with some sort of unspoken agreement, we kept the contact simple. I grew needy for more and moved to wrap my arms around him, but he stilled me. The tiny pause served as a reminder to me of our situation. I pulled back slightly, giving him a genuine smile as he shifted his warm gaze to the house.

"He's coming to look for us now," he whispered with a warm smile of his own.

I regretfully stepped away from him, reaching my hand out to press two fingers against his lips in a promise of more to come. His eyes closed at the contact. I marveled at his beauty.

"Shall we?" I asked, taking another step away and toward the house.

He studied me for a second with a gorgeous grin on his face.

"I'm right behind you," he answered, and I trusted completely that he was and always would be.


	12. Chapter 12

The rest of the evening passed peacefully with Edward shadowing our nighttime routine. We watched a little bit of TV, had cookies and milk, and eventually Chris was so tired that his eyes were closing despite his best attempts at keeping them peeled.

"You're exhausted, buddy," I murmured as his head bobbed. He'd fallen asleep and woke himself with a start.

Edward laughed lightly from his spot on the couch.

Chris looked at me sheepishly.

"Nope. I want to stay up."

"I know, but it's getting late. You're already way past your bedtime, even for a Friday night," I explained.

I realized Edward was moving around, quietly carrying our glasses and dessert plates to the kitchen. He was subtly reinforcing my request for bedtime by illustrating that the night's activities had come to a close. It was very sweet, and I felt extremely appreciative of his support. It felt so natural, so fatherly.

"Okay, mommy, but can you carry me?"

I laughed lightly. So Chris.

"You're not tired, but you can't walk to your bed?" I asked, more for Edward's comedic benefit than my own understanding. This was a bit of a trademark for my son. He loved his sleep, but I knew he was bummed about missing out on anything that involved time with Edward. Their instant bond extended far beyond anything even I was able to comprehend. I caught a few instances of Edward testing his mind-reading ability throughout the night, and I was eager to ask him what he'd uncovered.

Just as I was about to scoop him up into my arms, the phone rang. It was a little late for anyone other than family to be calling.

"I better get that," I said, moving around the coffee table to grab one of the cordless phones.

"I'll get him tucked in?" Edward asked quickly with a hesitant look. He didn't need to ask me. I trusted him completely.

"Great."

I answered just before the machine would have picked up.

Renee greeted me happily. She made it a point to call on Friday or Saturday night each week. I knew she worried about me being alone once Chris was put to bed. It was endearing at first, and I spent many nights talking for hours about everything. But, as time passed, I began to find her weekly "check-ups" disconcerting. I realized I had little to talk about other than my work and the daily duties of keeping up the house. She urged me to date. She begged me to find more girlfriends. I told her none of those things were necessary. I didn't feel like anything was missing. How foolish I was.

I watched Edward as we exchanged pleasantries, and she told me about her week with Phil. He bent down and gathered Chris into his arms after securing the blanket around his body. I knew he was worried about Chris sensing anything out of the ordinary about the exterior of his body, or the temperature of his skin. He made sure to prevent skin to skin contact. It wouldn't have mattered. Chris seemed completely oblivious as he flopped his head against Edward's chest and closed his eyes. I was sure that in five minutes a soft snore would be drifting out of his room.

Edward walked toward me, and I paused in the middle of a sentence when he came to stand right in front of me.

"He wants a goodnight kiss," Edward whispered so quietly that I would have missed it had I not read his lips.

I looked at him questioningly as I listened to my mother describe the colors she was considering painting their kitchen.

Chris was asleep in his arms. It took a minute for realization to set in. It was still bizarre to think that Edward was always listening Chris' thoughts, even his unconscious ones. For some reason, instinct told me that any child of mine would share my mind and its block of Edward's ability. Apparently, it was the complete opposite. Not only was his mind open to Edward, but he shared the talent.

I leaned forward, covering the phone softly with my hand, to press a kiss to Chris' forehead.

"I love you so much," I whispered, smiling when his face turned to me instinctually, his eyes remaining closed.

"I'll be in to say goodnight in a bit. Sweet dreams," I added, brushing my hand through his hair and skimming along Edward's chest in the process.

Renee was still talking.

Edward smiled softly and quickly disappeared down the hall.

I was completely distracted. I did my best to be warm and attentive to the conversation with Renee, but I'm pretty sure she could tell my heart wasn't in it. She asked all about Chris, wanting a full run-down of his week and everything going on at school. She subtly asked about Josh, and after ten minutes, I was finally able to hang up. She seemed satisfied with all of the information I gave her, although I made sure not to mention anything about the Cullen's resurfacing. I just wasn't ready to brave her reaction, whatever it may have been.

My breath caught in my throat when I reached Chris' bedroom. Edward was sitting on the bed with his back against the headboard, his legs extended and crossed at his ankles.

What struck me most was the way that Chris had curled up next to him. He looked completely at peace. His head rested in the crook of Edward's arm and chest. I laughed lightly when I realized that Edward was quietly reading from "Where the Wild Things Are."

I walked closer, smiling as he paused to turn the page.

"He's asleep. You don't have to keep going," I whispered.

He smiled brightly, "I know."

It was so sweet. He didn't care that Chris was oblivious. He was enjoying the time, and I was overcome again with respect and adoration for him…again.

"That's his favorite book."

"I figured. The pages are very worn," Edward spoke softly between paragraphs.

"I've tried, only a few times mind you, to skip pages when I'm really tired. He absolutely has a fit," I explained, reaching out to brush my hand over Chris' arm.

"Rightfully so." Edward replied, the endearing smirk on his face my only indication that he didn't really fault me for my past offenses.

I stood at his side quietly as he finished the story. He carefully handed it to me and moved to leave the bed.

"Goodnight, Chris. Sweet dreams," he murmured.

I felt the sting of tears in my eyes at the sight of him dragging the covers up over Chris' body so tenderly. It was very touching, but it unnerved me at the same time because the moment felt so "right." He acted as though he'd done it a million times. Of course, Edward is a natural at most everything that he does. It's only fitting that he would gracefully slip into the role of caregiver.

He turned to me slowly, and I motioned for him to follow me out of the room.

I hadn't given much thought to how I wanted the rest of the night to progress, but I knew that I didn't want him to leave. I had a sneaking suspicion that he would try to, simply out of habit, and I would have to stop him. He would undoubtedly feel uncomfortable officially staying the night, so I thought frantically about how to convince him otherwise as he followed me back to the den. I curled up on one end of the couch and took pleasure in watching him as he moved to sit next to me. He looked so serene. He was beautiful in every way.

"I called Carlisle today," he began, his voice calm and even.

"Really?"

"Yes, he was fascinated by everything I shared about Chris."

I instantly perked up and focused on him intently. My thirst for knowledge regarding Chris was immense, and I wanted to know what Carlisle had to say verbatim.

"He's confident he will be able to find some answers for you. He didn't seem alarmed. He also felt that you would know if the ability worked on everyone."

"I really don't think it does. In fact, it seems to just be you," I spoke confidently.

"I think so too. It's interesting to say the least."

"He also wanted me to discuss something with you as well as give you his warmest regards," Edward continued, his voice dropping subtly and sounding somewhat hesitant.

I turned to face him directly. I pulled my legs up and folded them underneath me.

"What's that?"

"Well, he, Esme, and the rest of the family would like to have you and Chris visit Oregon. They would love for you to come down for a week or two," he spoke carefully, sure to leave me plenty of time to interrupt and object.

I thought seriously for a moment before answering.

"It would be very difficult for Chris to miss school for any length of time so early in the school year."

"Of course."

"But, there's nothing I want more than to see your family, Edward. We could plan a flight for a Thursday morning and stay until Sunday afternoon. That would only be two days out of school for him, and it would give us plenty of time to catch up."

"Really? You would want to do that?" He asked, unable to mask the excitement on his face.

"Yes."

"You're comfortable bringing him to our home?"

"Completely."

He gave me a small smile after that, and I returned it earnestly.

"It's just so strange, Edward. Suddenly hearing from, and about, all of your family," I started.

He studied me carefully and nodded understandingly. I was surprised when he initiated contact by reaching out and laying his hand over mine. I threaded our fingers, and he squeezed them gently.

"I completely understand. I promise no one expects anything from you. They are just eager to know about you in any capacity that you're comfortable with."

"You spoke about this with them?"

"A little, yes. Is that alright?" He asked, carefully arching an eyebrow as he waited for a response.

"Of course."

"What do you expect from me, Edward?"

I decided to ask him the question the moment it came to me. His expression was horrified, and I instantly wished I could take it back so as to avoid any confrontation for the night. I really just wanted to be with him and relax.

"Bella," he began, but he trailed off with an exasperated sigh.

"We have to talk about it at some point," I murmured, looking into his eyes.

"I don't know where to start," he admitted.

"Neither do I."

"Obviously, I have all of the same concerns that I did before I," He trailed off pitifully, and I suppressed a small amount of anger at his inability to say it.

"Before you left." I had no issues with clarifying it for him.

He looked momentarily taken aback, but then he quickly composed himself and continued.

"Yes. Before I left, I worried constantly that I, or my family, could be a danger to you. I feel the same way now. The fact that I left doesn't change any of that. The fact that I've barged back into your life doesn't mean that I think those concerns are any less valid," he gently pressed.

"You will not hurt me," I practically barked at him.

"No, I won't. But, that doesn't mean that my nature is any less dangerous than it was. I'm still me, Bella, but you...you're not the same anymore."

That statement simultaneously broke my heart and fueled my frustration.

"What does that mean? You really think that the last nine years haven't changed aspects of your personality? You think I'm different because I'm older?"

I hurled questions at him as fast as I could process them from thoughts to speech. I knew it was dangerous, but I had to be honest.

Edward sighed and went to run his hand through his hair, but I grabbed his arm as his fingertips just barely made contact.

"Stop it," I whispered.

His eyes snapped to mine and burned.

"What?"

I shrugged. "You're getting frustrated. You run your hands through your hair when I'm stressing you out," I explained.

He quietly groaned and leaned forward.

"You're not stressing me out. I just don't know how to say this."

"Just say it," I urged.

He took a deep breath and moved his gaze to stare over my shoulder.

"I never thought I would ever want my life for you, but now, I'm looking at you, and deep inside, I want nothing more than to know that you can be with me forever."

I was silent; there was nothing I could say.

The ticking of the kitchen clock was audible in the quiet.

"Edward," I whispered, shaking with the weight of his words.

"Look at me," I said when he refused to meet my stare.

He nodded slightly and slowly pulled back to meet my eyes.

"Why is that so hard for you to admit?"

"Because it means I want to damn you for eternity to this earth, and that is incredibly selfish! Not to mention, it's not even an option because you have a child, and I know you would never leave him. I would never want you to."

"You're right. I would never be able to leave him."

Edward nodded his head agreeably, but I didn't miss the intense look of grief that owned his face. He did his best to hide it from me, but I saw his eyes cloud with excess venom, and I fought the urge to caress his face.

"I won't be able to leave you again," he whispered hoarsely, choking slightly on the heavy emotion in his words.

I was stunned by his candor. Finally, he wasn't fighting his feelings or thoughts. I was as clueless about our future as he was, but I knew it was_ our_ future. The fact that Edward was being upfront about his misgivings was a relief. I knew that we had to work together if there was to be any hope of a solution to our situation.

"Oh, Edward," I cried as I moved to embrace him.

His arms immediately surrounded me. He was quiet for a moment as he held me tightly. His fingers trailed over my lower back, and I sighed when he moved his lips to rest lightly against my own.

"What are we going to do, Bella?" He asked desperately.

I noticed he was clenching his eyes tightly, perhaps remembering a simpler time. I ached to be able to wipe the worry from his face.

"I don't know," I confessed.

Edward tightened his hold.

"I do know that I need you," I said, carefully measuring his response by leaning away slightly.

He growled lightly and crushed me to his chest.

"I need you so much it hurts," he cried.

"I know. I know," I answered, before lifting my hands and weaving them through his hair. I ran my fingers through the silky strands with a sigh.

He was quiet again until I felt a slight chuckle reverberating in his chest.

"What's so funny?"

"You play with my hair when you're stressed out," he mumbled.

I gave him a smirk of my own as I moved my hands to caress his neck.

"Sorry."

"I love it," he confessed.

"Me too."

"I love you, Bella."

I felt tears spill, and I struggled to see him clearly through watery eyes. He meant it; he always had.

"I love you." Because, I did. I always did.

"Don't ever stop."

"Never," I promised.

"We'll figure this out," I murmured softly into his ear.

"Promise?" He asked with a heartbreaking urgency.

"I promise."

With that, he stood and gave me the most profound look.

Neither of us spoke.

He didn't blink.

"Yes," I whispered, intrinsically knowing what he was begging for.

He wasted no time. He reached for my hand, and as soon as I placed mine in his, he was pulling me quickly down the hallway and into my bedroom.

"Is he sleeping?" I asked quickly, breathless as I stared into his intense eyes.

"Soundly."

He kicked off his shoes, and I followed suit.

"Kiss me," I gasped.

He did. He walked forward and had me pinned against the door in two seconds flat. I felt like I was buzzing with energy. My ears were ringing with the enormity of the moment. Never in my life had so much unbridled lust and passion consumed me. I needed all of him, and I was surrounded by his arms and body so blissfully.

"God, yes," he moaned as he trailed his lips down my throat and kissed my shoulder.

"The bed, Edward," I managed between gasps.

He had me in it immediately. I laughed lightly against his lips just before he kissed me once again.

The weight of his body on mine was pure perfection. He was attentive and sweet and excruciatingly sexy.

His lips coaxed mine into opening, his tongue tracing delicious, little lines over my lower lip before retreating as he deepened the pressure. His hands were demanding but gentle as they roamed my body. I moaned in pleasure several times, and Edward answered each one with his own.

He spent what felt like an hour holding me and whispering words of affection in my ear. Our bodies were tangled together, and I know I was pushing for more than he was prepared for after a point. Eventually, he pulled back and rolled to his side, dragging me with him in the process so that we faced each other.

"Are you tired?" He asked quietly.

"Very. You're pretty good at that, you know?" I joked, smiling brightly before moving to kiss his forehead.

"Sleep, love."

"I'm going to change first and brush my teeth. You'll be here when I get back." I said, careful to keep any questioning tone out of my voice.

Edward laughed lightly but nodded.

"I'll be here."

I rolled out of bed and grabbed some pajama pants and a long sleeved tee on my way to the bathroom. Once inside, I shut the door and closed my eyes in amazement. Edward had spent the last hour driving me absolutely mad with desire, but I was content with the level of intimacy he'd allowed. Not even once did he show any difficulty with bloodlust, and I was very encouraged that he seemed to be easily overriding any instincts that caused trouble in our past.

I rushed through washing my face and brushing. I pulled my hair back and quickly applied some lip balm. I smiled when I noticed how swollen my lips were. He'd really done a number on them. It was Heaven.

I flicked off the light to the bathroom and slipped into Chris' bedroom. I made sure he was comfortable and readjusted his comforter since he'd kicked it around in the early stages of sleep. After dropping a kiss on his head, I exited and made my way back to my bedroom.

Edward was sitting in the same spot I'd left him in.

"Get in here," he said as I turned off the light and moved to him.

I crawled into bed and laughed when his arms swooped around my waist and pulled me flush against him.

"Tired?" I joked.

"I wouldn't want to miss a minute of this."

"Okay, Romeo," I replied.

He rolled onto his back, and I cuddled up to him, my head on his chest and my right leg over his.

"Was much of that difficult for you?" I whispered after a few minutes of silence. The darkness of my bedroom was comforting so long as his hands were caressing me.

"No."

I ran my hand over his arm before resting it over his heart.

"Why do you think that is?" I asked carefully.

"I'm not really sure."

"But you have some idea?"

"Yes."

"Which is?"

He waited a moment before replying.

"I know what it's like to be without you now, and it's simply not an option."

I quietly considered his words while he continued to run his fingers through my hair and over every part of my body that he could reach in our position.

"It's not an option for me either."

He wrapped his arms securely around me after that, and I closed my eyes. I was asleep in minutes.

Edward left just before Chris awoke the next morning with a promise to return after lunch. We had plans to spend the evening with Alice and Jasper, and I was excited to have them all with us. Chris practically leapt out of his chair when the doorbell rang at precisely one o'clock.

"Edward!"

"Hey, you."

They high-fived each other in greeting as I cleaned up grilled cheese sandwich remnants.

"Edward, mommy said maybe you would play catch with me today. She's not really that great with sports," I heard Chris whisper conspiratorially from the doorway.

Edward laughed heartedly and quickly met my stare with a bright smile before directing his full attention at Chris.

"Is that so?"

"Yep. She is really good at a lot of stuff, but..."

"Not baseball," Edward provided.

"Definitely not baseball," Chris declared.

Traitors.

"Well, I'm ready now. Are you?" Edward asked happily.

Chris' yelp of excitement was answer enough for all of us.

"Yes! I'm gonna go get my glove."

As Chris ran down the hall, Edward walked into the kitchen and immediately pulled me in for a sweet but quick kiss.

"Thank you," I whispered against his lips.

"For?"

"Everything."

He stared at me while the sounds of running footsteps echoed on the hardwood floors.

"Love you," he mouthed as Chris bounded back into the room.

"Let's go!"

"Lead the way!" Edward matched every bit of Chris' enthusiasm, and I had to laugh at their exuberance.

"Be careful, guys. I don't have any ice packs freezing at the moment," I cautioned.

Edward chuckled. Chris ran.

I watched in fascination as Edward dropped flawlessly into a crouch a few yards away. Chris ran happily in the opposite direction before turning to face him excitedly. While a complete sense of trust permeated every aspect of their interaction, I was still on guard as I assumed any mother would be when balls were about to fly at their child's face.

Edward was speaking to Chris, and I strained to make out a few of the words through the sliding glass door.

"Just keep your eye on the ball and squeeze the mitt closed the instant you feel it hit your palm."

Chris nodded enthusiastically. There was very little space between them, but by the look on his face, you would have thought Edward was about to pitch a fast-ball from the outfield.

"Okay, ready?" he asked, a huge smile lighting his face.

"Yeah!"

I knew it was ridiculous to want to close my eyes, but I wanted so badly for Chris to catch it the first time.

Edward tossed the ball underhand, and a soft pop told me the ball was safe inside the glove of my happily cheering son.

It was going to be a great day. I was sure.


	13. Chapter 13

Alice and Jasper arrived at precisely seven o'clock that night.

Edward had just finished lighting the small barbecue grill on the back patio when the doorbell rang. He glanced at me and smiled, undoubtedly hearing the thoughts of his siblings from their spot on the front porch.

"I'll get it," he offered as he moved through the open sliding door and disappeared toward the front of the house.

I turned to watch Chris as he climbed a small slide in the backyard, completely unaware that two more members of my past were about to make their way into his life, and surely his heart, as well. I couldn't help but smile at the look of complete happiness on his face. He was mumbling to himself as he ran around. It was a moment I cherished.

When a child completely immerses himself in play, and then creates an imaginary world of their own, we could all learn a thing or two from them. They simply allow every creative idea to make utter sense. Nothing is outside the realm of possibility, and it is humbling in its purity.

Chris suddenly froze at the top of the slide, and his eyes found mine from where I stood on the patio. His little brow crinkled, and I waited for him to say something. His stare was steadfast, but unfocused, and I began to worry.

"Babe?" I called, setting down the butane lighter and starting toward him. I figured he'd stubbed his toe, or hurt himself somehow, which would be nothing new.

He smiled widely after another second, sat down, and slid down the slide with ease. Then, he took off running for the house. He practically sprinted up the stairs and grabbed onto my legs as he careened into me.

"Who's the cool guy with Alice?" He asked happily as I picked him up with a grunt at his increasing size and weight.

"Hmm?" I asked, turning to glance behind me at the door.

The three of them hadn't even made their way inside yet. The front door wasn't visible from the backyard, and I assumed Edward was settling any remaining issues with Alice after her breach of contract.

"I get to play trains with him!"

"Chris?" I asked, confused by his random statements.

"Put me down, momma."

"Excuse me," I mocked insult.

He laughed and leaned back in my arms as I made efforts to tickle him. His squeals were adorable, and I laughed with him when he threw his weight back with enough force that I had to abandon all attempts at tickling in order to hang onto him.

"Careful."

He just continued to giggle and gasp as he attempted to skirt my hands.

"One of these days, you're gonna fall when you do that," I said, making a funny face at him and sticking my tongue out.

"No, I won't!"

"Yes, you will!"

"Nope."

"Yes."

"Nooo."

We would have carried on for a solid minute, but I felt his body stiffen in my arms, and his head whipped around to face the sound of soft footsteps behind us. I noticed two things simultaneously. A very soft, but masculine gasp came from the doorway, and a strong sense of calm encompassed me.

"Hi!" Chris shouted, and I cringed slightly when the greeting assaulted my poor eardrums.

I set him down and turned to face our company. My attention was drawn to Edward first, mostly out of instinct, but also because he looked so at peace. He just fit in our home. It was becoming of him, and with the arrival of part of his family, he looked even more complete. Jasper stood just to his right. Of course, his appearance was the same, but I was struck by the difference in his expression. I had grown accustomed to Jasper always looking somewhat distressed. I attributed it to his struggle for control. The idea that he was still relatively new to the Cullen's way of life was not lost on me, but I was not able to truly appreciate what that meant when I was seventeen.

"Jasper," I said quietly. I wanted to be more verbose. There was so much I had to say, but with him actually standing in front of me, I could do little more than smile genuinely and hope he understood. He smiled warmly and took a step away from Edward and Alice.

"Hello, Bella. It's wonderful to see you," he began. His voice was warm, laced with the accent I would never forget.

"It's great to see you, too," I replied earnestly.

He nodded and gave me an appreciative smirk.

"Long time no see," I mumbled jokingly as I moved to hug Alice. She pulled me to her just as she had yesterday.

There was no hesitation in her arms, only comfort. "Edward wasn't exaggerating. He really is breathtaking," she whispered into my ear.

I squeezed her once in response before going to stand in front of Jasper. He stared intently into my eyes for a moment, and I was overwhelmed with feelings of remorse and amazement.

I stepped into his arms and carefully wound my arms around him. "Stop it," I whispered kindly.

He smiled bashfully, and it was quiet possibly the most endearing thing I'd seen all day. He knew I was referring to his guilt. I was focused on the present. There was no time, or desire, to dwell in the past.

"Yes, Ma'am," he replied, winking once before releasing me and extending his hand to Alice. She slipped hers into his waiting grasp, and I felt a tidal wave of love and relief in the wake of their subtle action.

"You have nice manners," Chris mumbled from his spot near Edward. He was watching all of us with careful attention.

Everyone's head turned to him. "What's that?" I asked.

"He said, 'Yes, Ma'am.' That's Super Star Manners." Chris explained smoothly, and I recognized the catchy phrase from his first week in school.

"Of course. Yes, well Jasper is very polite. You're right," I answered.

"Yep."

I stepped back and watched as Chris moved to stand just in front of me. He leaned back and rested some of weight against my legs and stomach. I soothingly ran my hands through the hair on top of his head.

Jasper, Alice, and Edward watched us appreciatively.

"So, Chris. I'm Jasper. I've heard so much about you."

Chris nodded excitedly and watched as Jasper motioned behind him to his ecstatic wife. Alice looked about ready to pounce if Jasper didn't hurry up and introduce her. I knew she was doing her best to give her husband time to ease himself into the situation. Edward had alluded, subtly and quickly, to the fact that Jasper still holds himself responsible for tipping the scales in favor of Edward's decision to leave me so many years ago. While all of the Cullens dedicated themselves to assuring him that nothing was his fault, a fact which I wholeheartedly agreed with, he still felt some degree of guilt, and that was going to stop if I had anything to do with it.

"This is my wife, Alice. She and I are so excited to meet you," he finished.

Chris waved at Alice.

"Aren't you a handsome little guy," Alice wasted no time.

Chris giggled.

"Oh my, he blushes just like his mommy, and he only gets cuter," she added as she walked to him and knelt down to be at eye level.

"Hi, thanks. You're really pretty," Chris said sweetly as he reached out and patted his hand once on Alice's shoulder.

She was absolutely smitten. That's my boy, quite the ladies man when he needs to be. He had barely uttered two sentences, yet Alice appeared completely devoted to him.

"Oh, well, thank you so much! Flattery will get you everything, smart guy," she confirmed.

"What's flattwery?" Chris asked, curiosity clearly written on his face.

I heard Jasper chuckle while Edward just smiled and ran a hand through his hair.

"That's when you say nice things about other people, sweetie," I offered.

Everyone smiled then.

"Chris, Jasper and Alice are friends I knew when I was in high school. Edward is part of their family too," I explained.

Chris took a moment to absorb the information while Jasper and Alice eagerly took in every detail about him.

"Where do you guys live?" He then asked.

Alice answered immediately, "We live in Oregon in a house a lot like your house. There's a lot of deer outside, and we have a big backyard."

I chuckled at her statement, earning me amused glances from Edward and Jasper.

"Lots of deer," I mumbled...

"Awesome," Chris replied enthusiastically.

"We all began making small talk after that. Jasper asked about my work, and I spent a few minutes telling him about the magazine. We spoke of Charlie. He seemed genuinely pleased to hear that he continued to do well. It was somewhat bizarre, since I was fairly certain the two never crossed paths, but I found it charming nonetheless.

Chris was a doll the entire time. Our conversation had to have been a test of his patience; it included nothing of excitement for him, but he remained quiet and attentive to the group. It was adorable actually, because he was constantly turning his head in different directions to face the person speaking. We were animated in our discussion, thrilled to be together again, but I sensed Chris growing exasperated after ten minutes or so. Either I, Alice, or Jasper were constantly talking. He'd always been taught not to interrupt adults in the middle of a discussion unless it was an emergency.

By the look on his face, he was anxiously awaiting a tiny lull in the conversation in order to cut in without risking the rule. It was so damn cute. I was just about to suggest an activity for him until we were ready to have dinner, but he took matters into his own hands. He walked about five feet forward as I finished my sentence and stopped at Edward's feet, craning his head up to stare at him. Edward was the only quiet one in the discussion. I figured he was just enjoying the moment and giving his siblings time to get warmed up.

"Edward, come here," Chris whispered, motioning with both hands for him to bend down.

Without hesitation, Edward did.

"Yes?"

"I'm kind of bored. Can I go back on the slide?" He continued to whisper, hoping the rest of us wouldn't hear his candid explanation for wanting to leave.

My mouth dropped open in surprise. I stood staring at Edward. He looked more shaken than I felt in that moment. His eyes whipped to mine imploringly. I gathered my wits and smiled brightly, nodding my head at him. I wasn't giving him permission to answer Chris' question. He didn't need that. I trusted him to make the right decisions in any instance. I was giving him my silent approval regarding the fact that my son chose to go to him in the first place. It seemed so important to me, and by the look on everyone's faces, it was equally as striking to them.

"Of course you can; that sounds like a really good idea. I'll call you when it's time to grill the burgers. I need a helper," Edward answered.

"Okay, thanks." Chris answered joyfully.

He turned, and when he realized I was staring at him, quickly smirked and ran down the steps behind me. "See you later!" He called.

"Have fun!" Alice chirped.

"Thanks! You too."

We all watched him go. I started to ask Alice about Esme, but I paused when I caught their expressions. Each one of them appeared awed.

"Dude, are you okay?" Jasper finally spoke.

Edward still looked surprised.

"What? Edward, are you?" I asked, confused as to why Jasper would question him.

Alice was beaming.

After a moment, Edward blinked and shook his head 'yes'.

"He just surprised me." He finally spoke. His voice was soft and emotional.

"Because he went to you?" I asked gently.

Why did he find it so hard to believe that Chris already trusted him? I knew, but I didn't want it to be true, because it meant Edward still needed to get over the idea of being unworthy. He needed to be completely over it.

"Yes."

"Children are the best judges of character," I whispered, focusing on him and meaning it only for his ears, even though I knew full well that the other two could hear everything I said.

Edward met my stare. His eyes were chock full of emotion. I knew that he wanted to believe Chris could love him too. I saw his intense desire, and I knew he would not be left wanting.

I extended my hand, and no time passed before Edward clasped it appreciatively. He squeezed it, and I winked at him when his thumb began running soothing circles over my palm.

"Should we sit?" I asked, hoping to get back to our conversation and stop Edward's pensive, emotional mood in its tracks.

Alice had my back.

"Absolutely! Bella, tell me all about Charlie and Sue Clearwater. If that isn't the most perfect thing, I don't know what is," she started in as we all took a seat at the large umbrella table.

She went into full gossip mode, and it didn't stop for a good twenty minutes. I was eager to provide every detail she wanted. There was plenty we weren't able to discuss during our previous day together, and topics were abundant.

The guys chatted amongst themselves, occasionally interjecting jokes or tidbits of information into our "girly time," as Jasper lovingly named it, after only three minutes of talking. It grew dark, and I shivered when I felt the cool Fall breeze pick up.

Edward's arm immediately came to rest across the back of my deck chair, his hand landing on my shoulder and gently tugging me closer to him.

Alice continued talking, but I didn't miss the way her eyes absorbed every movement Edward made with approval and happiness.

He leaned forward and dipped his head to speak into my ear.

"I'll get you a sweater," he whispered, before pulling back and standing.

I turned to him and nodded gently.

"Thank you."

He'd already ducked inside the house.

When I returned my attention to Alice, I noticed that she and Jasper were sharing a meaningful look. They appeared thrilled, and I smirked at them in understanding.

"Secrets don't make friends," I joked.

They both laughed.

"We wouldn't dream of keeping any secrets from you," Jasper replied. I believed him.

Edward reemerged from the house with my favorite zip up, but it was the small, feather gray sweatshirt in his other hand that caught my attention. He made sure I was looking at him, then tossed me my sweater.

I was thankful, once again, that he'd thought of my son's well-being. I should have been used to it by then.

"Alice, Jasper, watch this," he whispered.

I quirked a brow but obeyed as well. Nothing happened. It was quiet except for the soft sounds of Chris' trampling all over the yard.

"I'm coming! I'm not really cold, though," Chris yelled a second later from approximately fifty yard away.

Alice smirked knowingly while Jasper appeared impressed.

I turned to watch Chris sprint toward us. He bounded up the steps and came to a stop in front of Edward.

"Thank you, Edward," he said as he turned and stuck his arms out. Edward appeared confused for a split second, but then he got with the program and proceeded to slip the sweatshirt over Chris' head. Chris took over once it was mostly on, snaking his arms through the sleeves and tugging it into place.

I watched quietly, unable to quell the feelings of desire for the man in front of me.

"Only a few more minutes, okay? It's getting too dark out there," I said as Chris stepped away.

"Gotcha. I'll be in the sandbox," he replied.

"Okay." I replied.

Chris left, and I turned to glare at Edward.

"I know what that was," I stated.

He gave me a shy smirk.

"Yes. I wanted to show them," he answered.

Alice and Jasper nodded.

"It's remarkable, really," Jasper supplied.

"He didn't hear me," Alice interjected.

"What?" Edward and I asked at the same time.

She gave me a careful look, "I knew what Edward was doing. I decided to test him as well. I kept up a mantra of all kinds of things while he was up here putting the sweatshirt on. I tried everything from demands for ice cream to asking him what his favorite Disney movie is. I prefaced everything with his name, and he heard nothing."

I took a moment to absorb that.

"It's only Edward," I finally breathed.

"Appears that way," Jasper added.

I wasn't sure what to think of that. I felt somewhat relieved. It confirmed many of my ideas and suspicions, but it also left so many question marks.

"Carlisle is very eager to learn more. Don't worry, Bella. I really believe everything will be understood, with time, of course," Alice explained.

I took a deep breath and nodded. Edward took his seat, and I found solace leaning into his body as we continued to catch up.

His eyes exuded such warmth and appreciation. I felt momentarily stunned by the intensity surrounding us. Everyone had wandered off after gathering in the kitchen briefly, and we found ourselves alone for the first time. I was more than a little certain that Edward and Alice had orchestrated it. I was thankful. I was vaguely aware of Chris prattling on and on about dessert. He was politely asking for two scoops of ice cream with his brownie.

"I can help you?" Jasper asked, moving to my side slowly as if I would scare.

I met his stare and smiled.

"No worries. It's only for two, after all," I replied, laughing lightly and waving my hands at the sprinkles and assorted toppings in front of me.

He smiled and sighed. All was quiet for another minute. It was comfortable being with him.

"We're so happy to be here, Bella," his voice was full of emotion.

"Not as happy as I am to have you," I answered simply.

Jasper only nodded his understanding. I'm sure the emotion he sensed from me was confirmation enough that I was being completely truthful.

The rest of the evening passed with ease and comfort. Chris had an amazing time dragging Alice and Jasper through his entire bedroom. He made sure to show them every cool toy he had. If it was boring Jasper in any way, he never let onto it even once. I left them in the bedroom at one point to grab Chris' pajamas from the dryer. I heard Edward's voice from the family room, and I couldn't help but listen as he carried on a conversation on his cell phone.

"I know."

There was silence for a good minute.

"That's just it. I don't think there's a precedent for any of it."

A precedent for what, I wondered?

"That's a possibility too. I'm very eager for you to see him in person. I'm afraid my explanations don't do him justice," Edward said.

I was certain by then that he was, in fact, talking about Chris.

"Thank you, Carlisle. You're sure you can't come here any sooner than that?"

Silence.

"I understand. Of course, please tell everyone hello and give them my love."

He was silent again, and I assumed he'd hung up.

I thought about sneaking back into Chris' bedroom, but before I was able to make up my mind...

"Bella, I know you're standing there."

Damn...

"My heartbeat, I know," I mumbled as I went to join him.

He smiled warmly. I sighed and moved into his waiting arms.

"What did he have to say?"

Edward pulled me as close as possible, leaning down to drop a kiss on my forehead.

"He is extremely short-staffed at the hospital. He'd be here now if he could, but I told him we might visit."

"We will," I answered.

"He had to ask the rest of the family to be patient. Everyone is interested in coming here."

"That's not a problem," I whispered.

"I knew you would say that, but we don't want to confuse Chris anymore than necessary. It makes more sense to wait," he explained.

I nodded my head.

"We'll go when you're ready," he added.

I pulled back and stared into his beautiful eyes. They were clear and warm.

"Next week, Edward. We'll go next week?" I asked, hoping he'd agree. I was content and secure in my knowledge that Chris was in no danger, but I couldn't deny the part of me that was eager for more answers.

"Whatever you want, love" he replied, tightening his hold only marginally.

"I'm going to go get him ready for bed. It's after ten," I added, withdrawing from his embrace.

"More of _that_ later," I whispered, throwing a wink over my shoulder as I made my way back to the bedroom.

I heard Edward laughing as I disappeared down the hall.

"Make the choo-choo noises again!" Chris' voice spilled from the bedroom, and something about his words stopped me in my tracks.

It couldn't be, could it?

I resumed walking and peered inside. Just as I suspected, Alice and Jasper were seated on Chris' floor, huge smiles on their faces as they each pulled a separate train over wooden tracks running in every direction.

I felt Edward behind me. He stood close, his hand coming to rest on my hip. I continued to watch the scene in front of me. It was perfection.

They were playing trains.


	14. Chapter 14

My mind reeled with the knowledge that Chris had predicted the exact scene I stood overlooking from his bedroom doorway. I remembered disregarding his earlier statement about playing trains and attributing it to his excitement over having visitors join us. However, there was no denying the accuracy of his claim as I watched him listen intently to Jasper's explanation on the construction of tracks. He'd had a vision, and it was entirely accurate.

"Build the bridge here!" Chris clapped his hands once, and Jasper laughed heartily. The sound was unfamiliar to me, and I realized with a start that I absolutely loved it. When Jasper laughed, the sound was completely genuine. It carried with it a feeling of true bliss, and I knew it was partly his gift, but also his true enjoyment that caused the euphoric lift. Alice appeared as moved as I felt.

"Good idea," Jasper replied, his graceful hands finding the appropriate pieces of track a second before snapping them into place.

I remained quiet for a bit, watching with adoration as Chris observed everything Jasper did while constructing a circular path out of the numerous track pieces in the bucket.

"That's perfect," Alice praised their combined efforts.

"Thanks," Chris and Jasper mumbled simultaneously without giving her a second of their attention. It was too cute.

It was so pure and perfect, and I didn't miss the smile that spread across Alice's face.

I hung back for a few more minutes, smiling when Alice finally looked up and caught me.

"Alice, can I talk with you?" I asked, doing my best to keep my voice light and carefree.

She nodded instantly and patted Jasper on the knee once before leaving his side. He shot us both a huge grin.

Chris didn't pay me any attention. He was thoroughly entertained.

Alice barely made it out of the bedroom before she confirmed my suspicions.

"Yes, he saw my vision," she explained quietly as she grasped my elbow and guided me to the kitchen.

"Really? So, you had a vision of them playing with the train set?"

"I did. It came to me while Edward was flapping his gums about my early visit. I was still on the porch," she added.

I concluded that, in fact, that was the exact moment during which Chris had frozen on top of the slide. He not only saw it, but he shared it with her as it was happening.

"Hey, I heard that, Alice," Edward's voice came from the direction of the backyard.

I turned to face him.

The look I gave him must have been intense, because he quickly grew serious and moved to my side.

"Chris sees her visions," I said, not believing how easily such bizarre words rolled off my tongue.

Edward pursed his lips and nodded his head.

"I figured as much. He kept thinking about the trains throughout the evening, and I knew of Alice's vision so I thought the coincidence was unlikely."

"You could have told me," I mumbled.

He ran his hand over my arm.

"I didn't want to get you excited if it was nothing."

Alice remained quiet, but she had a soft smile on her face as she stood across from Edward and me.

"Apparently, Chris is very sensitive to the abilities of those around him," she then stated.

I did not say anything as I considered her words. It seemed as if there was a beacon of truth in her theory, but there was nothing I could think of to warrant my complete confidence in the idea. It was so out there. I thought of Chris' ability to hear Edward's thoughts, but not those of other's. I considered his prediction of the playtime he was engaged in as well as the display of similar emotions to Jasper. It was all very puzzling. It all coincided with Alice's assumption.

Edward tightened his hold on me before speaking, "I think she's right."

I gulped, and Alice looked at me with a concerned grimace.

"How?" I whispered. She just shrugged with a content look on her face.

"It will be alright, Bella. I promise," she said cheerfully.

Edward must have whispered something too quietly for me to hear, because she then turned on her heel and left us without a word.

I faced him with a slight scowl, "Are you telling me everything you know?"

"Of course. If there is anyone who deserves to know what's going on, it's you," he asserted.

"That's right."

"Look, Bella, I know this is really strange."

"And, completely out of the blue," I added before he could continue.

Edward paused and shook his head agreeably, "Right. It all started when I showed up, which means that something about being in our presence has sparked these abilities."

"He's just a little boy, though. I don't understand," I explained honestly.

He moved to hold me. I went willingly into his arms, my head resting against his quiet chest. I felt his cool breath wash over the crown of my head.

"I think it must have something to do with your mind being silent to me. Something about your makeup combined with your intimate knowledge of us and our existence is now a part of Chris. I don't know if it has something to do with..." he trailed off quietly, and I pulled back from his arms to look at him.

I urged him to continue gently, "Something to do with?"

Then, I knew. I knew what he was referring to. The conversation I'd overheard him having with Carlisle suddenly made more sense.

"Phoenix," we said together.

He nodded.

I swallowed nervously, not because it was uncomfortable for me to think about, but because the word sent a flame of recognition licking through me.

"You mean the venom?"

Edward regarded me carefully before nodding his head once.

"First, I believe that he is perfectly healthy. Alice's visions confirm that," he began.

I nodded.

"The truth is, Carlisle doesn't believe there's been an instance where venom was introduced into a human body only to be removed a short time later."

"Go on," I insisted.

"It didn't change you, and you didn't die," his voice became grave, so I reached out and ran my hands over his upper arms.

"No, it didn't, and I didn't," my voice was hushed but strong.

"That's...extraordinary," he added.

"It was. Thanks to you," I tried my best to reassure him, because I could tell that this particular trip down memory lane was quickly becoming excruciating for him.

"Your blood affects me like no other's."

I returned my head to his chest, his arms wrapping around me before I answered, "Yes."

"And, now, your son appears to share the gifts of the vampires he's close to."

I waited for him to continue, but he didn't.

"What does it all mean?" I finally prodded.

His fingers wove themselves through my hair, and I sighed when I felt his thumbs rub ever so gently over my jaw and cheeks. The pads of his fingers caressed my scalp. There was no sweeter feeling than the one that owned me when his lips dropped to press butterfly kisses all over my lips and chin.

"Your guess is as good as mine," he whispered between kisses.

"You're not going to tell me he's the next Buffy the Vampire Slayer, or something, are you?" I asked with a soft laugh.

Edward tightened his arms.

"God, I hope not," he laughed brightly.

"He's special, Bella. We'll figure out why," he added solemnly.

"I'm not scared by it anymore," I said after a minute.

His hands stilled in question.

"I'm not. I have to accept it. It's part of who he is, and you're right; we will find answers. I trust it," I explained.

Edward smiled softly.

"I love you so much." The forcefulness behind his words was staggering.

He didn't give me enough time to return the sentiment. His lips were urgent on my skin, his hands slipping from my hair to my hips.

"I love you, too," I managed just before his lips claimed mine in a fiery kiss.

His moan of approval and appreciation was the end of our conversation for the time being.

The rest of the weekend passed quickly and comfortably. Jasper and Alice left on Saturday night, but only after Chris fell asleep on his bedroom floor in the middle of the most impressive display of train track construction I'd ever seen. It was a fantastic visit, and I was eager to see the rest of the family the following weekend.

Edward spent most of Sunday with us, hanging out with Chris, and even tagging along to the grocery store. He sat down to dinner on Sunday night, and Chris chose that moment to shock us.

"Are you going to be with my mommy now?" He mumbled through a full bite of lasagna.

I coughed on a piece of pasta and took a huge drink of tea.

"Sweetie, don't talk with your mouth full," I quickly added once I was able to swallow, hoping to give Edward some time to come up with an answer since I needed a minute, or eighty, to come up with an appropriate explanation myself.

Of course, I'd given thought to how this conversation would play out, but I didn't expect Chris to question Edward's presence quite so quickly. We'd been careful to make sure that Chris didn't see Edward in my bedroom. There was no way he knew that he was sharing my bed at night, and I was certain he hadn't witnessed any real intimacy between the two of us. There was the issue of Chris reading Edward's mind, but I had no doubt that Edward would keep anything of a heavy nature away from his attention.

Edward smirked at me. Then, he winked; he was actually reassuring me. The wink was adorable. I caught my breath, and I'm sure the blush on my cheeks was noticeable if my increasing heartbeat was any indication.

Naturally, there was no food in front of him, and I watched as he folded his hands on the table and leaned forward as if he was about to reveal a huge secret. Chris mirrored his movements, leaning forward in his chair until they were close enough to butt heads if they nodded. The stare-off was on.

"I think your mom is the most amazing woman in the world," Edward began, and I tried to tell him with my eyes that I would answer for him if he was uncomfortable.

Chris smiled brightly. Edward followed suit, completely ignoring me.

"I think so too," Chris whispered, and I wondered if he was simply agreeing with Edward's statement, or answering an unspoken thought of Edward's.

It was slightly uncomfortable to know that they were capable of conversing secretly. If not for my complete trust in Edward, I would have been chanting 'what, what, what,' from my seat, but there was just no way I could interrupt them. The picture they made was priceless and heartwarming. They were completely attuned to each other.

"Is it okay with you if I'm around, you know, with you and mommy?" Edward asked, and I bit my lip to quell the sudden rush of emotions his question evoked.

It was so moving because it was blatant evidence of Edward's growth during our years apart. Before, Edward was always very considerate of Charlie's wishes and took responsibility extremely seriously, but he rarely asked for permission, or opinions, when making important decisions. He never considered compromise when we were together, because he was certain that his plans were the safest. He was stubborn, perhaps even cocky, and I knew that while he might have doubted himself, he never let others know of his insecurity.

Yet, as I watched him with Chris, it was clear that he wanted and needed Chris' complete acceptance. It meant everything to him. He saw my son as an extension of me, and he was desperate for a place in his heart as well. I wasn't sure how any doubt still lingered in his heart after Chris' clear displays of trust, but I also knew that there were many aspects of Edward's psyche that I was still unaware of.

"It's okay," Chris answered as he poked his fork at another bite of lasagna and stuffed it in his mouth.

Edward appeared confused by the nonchalant attitude Chris used when answering.

I counted off the seconds in my head until I knew he would prod for more information. I didn't even make it to three-one-thousand, "Really?" Edward asked, his tone hopeful. His eyes shot to mine, and I smiled warmly.

Chris took a sip of apple juice and let his fork drop to his plate. "Yeah," he nodded for emphasis.

"That means a lot to me, Chris."

I studied them both. They were a good team. Chris resumed eating.

He finished chewing a particularly huge bite and sat still for a moment. He looked to Edward.

"I don't want you to leave," he further explained once he was sure he had Edward's complete attention.

Edward and I shared a powerful reaction to that innocent statement. Chris spoke from his heart, and I knew Edward was moved because Chris' thoughts obviously mirrored his spoken words exactly.

"I won't," Edward replied. His voice was thick with conviction, and I instinctively reached out to run my hand over Chris' back.

He turned to face me with a smile before answering, "Good. That's good."

Edward nodded and slowly leaned back in his chair. I took a deep breath and did the same.

"Can we have dessert now?" Chris asked, causing both Edward and I to laugh at his rapid change of topics. To him, the matter was settled, and he was ready to move on. Chocolate cupcakes were waiting.

It was three-thirty in the afternoon the following day when I felt dread seize me at the sight of him walking toward us. We planned for him to join us all along, and I was prepared for the impending conversation, but I had no idea what his reaction would be, so the unknown element was disconcerting. It could have gone so many ways...

Chris yanked his hand from mine and took off running. I smiled at his eagerness and waved.

"Daddy!"

Josh's eyes lit up, and I chuckled when he feigned a grunt at the impact of Chris' body into his waiting arms. He picked him up with such ease, one hand gently pushing the brim of Chris' baseball hat back so that he could get a good look at him.

"Hi, buddy. I've missed you big time," he said, pausing only to kiss his cheeks.

"Missed you, too," Chris answered. He then laid his head on Josh's shoulder and squeezed his arms around his neck.

It was an adorable sight, and I felt nothing but thankfulness that Josh made a conscious effort to be everything Chris needed through the turmoil of our divorce.

"Are you ready for this?" Josh asked once Chris pushed back from his arms.

He braced his hands on Josh's wide shoulders and nodded excitedly.

"Totally!"

"Good. That's my boy."

"It's not regular t-ball season, but I'm playing with my school team, and we have our first game in a couple weeks," Chris spoke quickly through his eagerness, and I chuckled at Josh's wide eyes.

"Awesome."

"Yeah, and if I like it, Mommy said I can play for real in Springtime."

"I think that sounds great," Josh answered as he put him down before waving his hand to indicate that Chris should lead the way.

I was only a few feet away. When they reached my side, Josh extended one arm and pulled me gently to his side as we walked together.

"Hi, Bella," he said softly, his lips pressing a chaste kiss to the side of my head while his arm squeezed once, causing the sides of our bodies to be flush together for an instant. He let me go then, and I gave him a quick smile.

"Josh, it's good to see you," I answered.

He gave me a big smile, "You too. How is everything?" He asked warmly.

Chris looked up at us from his spot on Josh's right.

"Things are good. We're great," I explained honestly, smiling when I caught Chris' nod of agreement.

"Let's go, Chris! We're ready to get started," a loud voice called from the other side of the fence.

"Have fun, Chris. Daddy and I will be right over there watching," I said, pointing at a set of bleachers just behind the dugout.

"K."

He paused once we reached the opening of the gate and looked expectantly at Josh. I knew he was looking for an extra vote of confidence, and it warmed my heart. He had always been a very secure child, but he benefited from an extra boost of support.

Josh understood immediately.

"Come here, kiddo. Remember what we talked about last time? Always keep your eye on the ball, and you'll be set," Josh kneeled and ran his hands over Chris' arms.

Chris nodded eagerly.

"Yep. Got it. Edward helped me practice that a lot, too," he said smoothly, and I cringed when the name rolled right off his lips like it was the most natural thing in the world.

Josh froze but recovered nicely. He nodded once, and Chris took off in the direction of his coach.

I held my breath, wondering if just maybe he'd assume it was a different Edward our son was referring to. Once Josh stood and turned his eyes to me, I had my answer. Apparently, he didn't know many Edwards.

"Edward?" His voice was ominous, and I took a moment to steel myself. There was absolutely no way I was going to allow him to give me a hard time when his actions, and decisions of the past, completely disregarded my feelings altogether.

"I wanted to tell you first," I began.

He cut me off with a frantic shake of his head.

"_The_ Edward?"

I watched him carefully, noting the way his shoulders bunched up, visible even under his bulky sweatshirt.

I was sure that he had his answer just from the look on my face, but he waited for me to say it.

"Yes," I whispered, my eyes trained on his jeans and tennis shoes. Jeans I bought for him. The shoes, too.

"Bella?" The torn sound of his voice forced me to meet his penetrating stare, and I mentally chided myself for not facing him head on in the first place.

"When did this happen?" He practically begged. I put my hands in my jean pockets and kicked a foot in the dirt.

"Only a few days ago."

"My God," he trailed off.

"I know," I replied quietly.

He shook his head as if to clear it before running his hand over his face.

"He's been with Chris?" He asked carefully, his head turning to watch our son who was busy laughing and playing around on the field.

"Yes. He's fantastic with him. I wouldn't allow it otherwise," I explained.

"You're sure?" He asked.

I bristled but did my best to keep my temper in check.

"Of course."

"I trust you," he said fervently once the tide of anger left us both.

"Thank you," I answered.

A moment of silence passed between us as we moved to sit on the metal bench.

"I don't like it," he said somberly after a moment.

"You don't have to like it, Josh," I said gently, but with purpose.

"I didn't like Lisa," I added bitingly when he didn't reply. I knew that was a low blow, but I had to remind him of the artillery in my camp.

"You still don't like her," he retorted.

I grunted and defended myself, "I don't hate her. That's something, right?" I asked, smiling despite the painful memories.

The wind kicked up, and I shivered slightly.

He sighed. I was so familiar with that particular sigh. He had so many variations of them, and the one he chose meant resignation.

"It is," he answered brokenly, and my heart waged a war with my head. I wanted to reach for his hand, but I knew that I'd draw no comfort from it. It was Edward's hand I wanted in mine, and only his. It wasn't my place to reassure Josh anymore. He made his bed.

"How?" He asked quietly.

"Umm, there's no big story, really. He came back. He heard of our divorce," I decided to be as truthful as possible without revealing any real detail.

Josh knew Edward's name, knew of our short time together, and knew that I considered him my first true love. He knew that I was still devastated and broken-hearted at the start of college because of my experiences with Edward, but he knew of nothing else. Regardless of the extent of my pain over the past with Edward, I could never risk divulging secrets that were not mine to share. I never even considered confiding in anyone about the Cullen's lives. I didn't desire the obvious worries about my mental health, and I would not betray their confidence at any cost.

"What? He's just been waiting in the wings then?" He asked with an irritated tone.

"Something like that. The circumstances suck, but I'm happy," I offered him as much truth as possible.

He bit his lip gently, and his eyes warmed as they studied me. "Well, I guess that's what matters. How can I argue with that? You do look great, Bella," he whispered, and I patted his shoulder in response.

"Thank you, I think," I answered.

He was pensive for a moment. I gave him his space.

"The guy probably hates me, huh?" he muttered after a moment, and I bit back my laughter. He didn't really want the answer to that question.

He watched me carefully. _If he only knew..._

I shrugged after a minute and reached for my bag. I busied myself by pulling out a small water bottle for Chris and ripping open a new bag of sunflower seeds. I huffed softly and extended my left hand out to Josh, the bag of seeds symbolizing a truce of sorts.

He eyed them, his attention shifting from me to Chris as the coach guided him up to the batting tee and gave some directions.

"Ranch?" He asked softly.

"No, you know Barbecue are my favorite."

"Gross, they're disgusting. Ranch or Salsa are the best," he continued.

My arm was getting tired.

"Do you want some or not?" I asked, a slight chuckle slipping through the irritation.

He was silent for a moment. The wind picked up and carried with it the cracking sounds of bats and excited shouts from all over the little league.

I gave up and withdrew my offering.

"I just can't believe he's back," he whispered instead.

I sighed. It was so like Josh to brush something off at first, then bring it up after he'd digested the information.

"He's back," I confirmed.

"I mean, don't get me wrong, Bella. I'm happy you're dating. I think it's good for you. But, him, I mean what are the odds?"

"Pretty good, apparently," I replied with a bit of sarcasm. After all, it was his ex who'd destroyed our relationship.

Chris swung the bat and knocked the ball off the tee, sending it skipping between the pitcher's mound and third base.

"Good job, buddy!" Josh cheered.

He turned to look at me once more.

"You want a relationship with him?"

I knew the moment of reckoning had arrived. I looked into my ex-husband's eyes and confessed just how badly I wanted another man. "I do."

He blinked rapidly a few times before nodding his head in acceptance.

He said nothing for almost five minutes. I quietly watched as the kids took turns batting. I expertly shelled a few seeds at a time in my mouth, relaxing with each passing minute.

"Well, can I have some?" Josh suddenly asked.

I laughed, and he joined me.

"Yeah, of course you can," I said before tossing him the bag.

He gave me a small but genuine smile, "Thanks."

"Anytime."

It was almost eleven thirty before I made it to bed that night. I hadn't seen Edward all day since he'd left to hunt in the early morning hours, and Chris' after school activities kept us busy till almost six. I made dinner, helped him with his homework, gave him a bath, did some laundry, made a lunch for the next day, and practically crawled into bed after it all.

Edward said he'd be back for the night, but I wasn't sure what time that meant. I kicked off the socks I'd worn for the majority of the night, sighing blissfully as I ran my bare feet through the cool sheets. The TV provided the only light in my bedroom, and I felt sleep calling almost immediately. As I slowly drifted off, I thought about Josh and his reaction to the news of Edward's return. I made a mental note to call my mom the following day and fess up..at least a little.

I couldn't have been asleep for very long when I heard the soft click of the front door. It made me happy that he felt comfortable enough to use the spare key I left for him on the entryway table. He'd given me a slightly uneasy glance when I pointed to it the night before, but after my challenging glare, he wordlessly slipped it into his pocket and thanked me with a smirk.

I tried my best to strain and hear him as he approached, but the only indication that he was entering the room was the shadow which skirted over the darkened walls. The moment he crossed the threshold, I felt an overwhelming peace settle over me. He didn't make a sound. I figured he knew I was awake since the variation in my breathing and heartbeats would be obvious, but I wanted him to make himself at home. The past few nights, he had been more comfortable with me, but he still hesitated in seeking the comfort I knew he desired.

I felt the comforter slide infinitesimally lower on my body as it was pulled back before the bed dipped. I was on my side, my back to Edward, and I couldn't help the sigh that escaped my lips when his arms reached out and gently pulled my body back to align with his. It was complete perfection. He'd removed his jeans, and his bare legs intertwining with mine broke me. I turned in his arms and pressed a kiss to his chest. He kept his t-shirt on, so I slid my fingertips underneath the hem of it, keeping my head down and away from his eyes.

"Bella," my name tumbled from his lips, sounding like a prayer of thanks and a plea for help at the same time.

I slid my hands up, stopping when they were flat over his ribs. I was still. I felt his finger under my chin. I tipped my head back and met his stare for the first time.

"How was it?" He whispered.

I licked my lips and flexed my fingers over his chest. His eyes flickered closed. It was so endearing.

"Good. He's sure you hate him," I answered once his eyes reopened.

"Smart guy," he mumbled.

I chuckled quietly as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

"He was very understanding for the most part. I told him about the trip. He's okay with it," I explained.

Edward seemed relieved.

"We can really go to Oregon?" He sounded so excited.

"Yes, Edward. We're going," I answered.

His arms tightened.

"I missed you today," I said after a minute.

Another deep sigh caused my body to move with it, my hands rising and falling with the unnecessary movement.

"I miss you every minute that I'm not with you," he spoke passionately.

"Mmm, how sweet, baby," I whispered, squirming in his arms in order to reach his ear. I dropped kisses there, ducking my head down to reach the spot behind his earlobe.

"I meant it," he replied gruffly, his breaths growing quicker by the second. I nodded. He kissed my neck once.

I pulled back and moved one hand to thread my fingers through his hair before replying, "So did I. Always."


	15. Chapter 15

Chris, Edward, and I left for Oregon the following Thursday morning. The days leading up to our departure were some of the most peaceful and enjoyable times I'd had in years. I already knew that Edward was capable of seamlessly immersing himself in our lives, and he did not disappoint in any way. He spent most days with me; we ran errands, worked from home for the magazine, spent time cleaning out the garage, and he even took it upon himself to chop enough firewood for the coming winter to last me a good ten years.

He drove back to Forks once, apparently taking care of business at the family's old home. I knew through my father that the old Cullen home was never occupied over the years. I asked Edward if they kept ownership of it the entire time, but he kind of avoided my question by acting as if he didn't hear it. Impossible. It was the first sign of discomfort I'd seen in him for days, and I didn't want to let it go. I didn't know at the time that my gentle prodding would lead to our most honest and emotional conversation yet.

"Carlisle never sold it?" I asked nonchalantly as we sat in the family room one morning after dropping Chris off at school.

"Hmm, Bella, do you want some French Toast? I bought a Hawaiian loaf, and I have a secret recipe using it," he mumbled as he stood from the couch and disappeared into the kitchen.

I was left staring at the the empty room until I recovered from his lightening fast departure.

"Hey, you didn't answer my question, and you're gonna make me fat with all this amazing food. Old Edward didn't cook like this, and young Bella had the metabolism dreams are made of," I started as I trailed after him.

I heard him laugh softly as he gathered eggs and milk from the fridge.

"Is that a, 'Yes, please, Edward. Make me some French Toast and while you're at, tell me I'm beautiful and you can't keep your hands off of me'?'" He mocked, imitating my voice in a slightly whiny tone.

I stood with my mouth agape in feigned indignation. How dare he? Edward only smiled in response. He knew he had me. He'd been very attentive with his affections and with each night, he grew more comfortable and more daring in his caresses and kisses.

I was slowly being driven insane and he knew it. Not only did I feel like a hormonal, sex-crazed teenage girl again, but I now _knew_ what I was missing. I wasn't naïve to the pleasure he could bring me. I was dying for him to take another step forward with me every night, and so far, he was extremely willing, even adventurous himself, but I felt us approaching an unspoken line. We were close to reaching a plateau, and I was desperate to prolong the inevitable. This new Edward, who returned to me with an open heart and more receptive mind, was pushing himself constantly to trust me, and I was very eager to be his partner in every way.

"I know you can't keep your hands off me," I finally replied, arching an eyebrow in contest.

He smiled brightly as he whisked the eggs and milk together.

"Where is your vanilla?"

"In the cupboard to your left," I answered as I moved to sit at one of the bar stools facing him at the counter.

I watched him work quietly for a moment. He was so beautiful and commanding as he stood in my kitchen, making me breakfast and throwing the most adorable smiles in my direction every once in a while. I was overwhelmed for what felt like the hundredth time that week with his presence, but also with his evolution of character.

"You've changed," I whispered quietly, surprised that I spoke it out loud. I'd simply been thinking it, but our newfound bond was so conducive to sharing everything that it was instinct to voice it for him.

He glanced at me before returning his attention to heating the griddle. He was buttering it when he sighed and nodded.

"I guess so," he conceded.

"Are you happy?" I asked carefully.

Edward stilled, a square of butter sizzling as it slowly melted away.

"I have you in my life, so yes, I'm happy," he spoke with passionate conviction in his voice.

"I have you," I echoed, still loving the feelings that fact stirred deep within me.

"You got me," he reiterated with the sexiest smirk. I studied the way his teeth glinted in the hazy morning light. They were spectacular. His eyes were a shade darker than I was accustomed to, but he'd not left to hunt in the past couple days, so it was understandable, and I knew it was a mixture of thirst and desire.

Yeah, I had him alright.

"Forever?" I asked suddenly, sucking in a quick breath when I realized what I'd said. It was an obvious issue hanging over our heads, but I was constantly thinking about how I wanted to broach the subject with him. I was planning to discuss our future in Oregon after talking with his family... at length.

I met his shocked stare; his eyes were fixated on mine, staring with pain and confusion etched into every feature of his beautiful face.

"Bella?" He spoke with such agony in his voice, and suddenly, I was walking in his direction.

The fork lay abandoned in the bowl of mixture; the smell of cinnamon sugar heavy in the air around us. I carefully placed my hands on his still chest, measuring his expression by looking up slowly.

"Talk to me," I urged, simply needing to hear his thoughts.

He dropped his gaze to the floor for a good minute. I waited, trying to control the rapid pace of my heart. Edward reacted as if he read my mind, raising his hand and resting it over my chest as if the cool would calm the thundering beats.

I immediately felt more centered.

"I'm sorry. I just really didn't expect you to bring this up right now," he explained.

"I didn't plan on it."

He watched me silently; his chest never moved.

"Sometimes I feel so weak, because the idea of actually having this conversation is terrifying," he confessed.

I couldn't help myself. I leaned into him and kissed him. His lips were still at first, but I persisted, kissing his bottom lip gently until he urged my mouth open with his tongue. We stayed that way for a while, taking turns leading. He loved me fully, giving me as much as he could, and I was so thankful for all of it.

Eventually, he pulled away and rested his hands on my hips. With a meaningful stare, he implored me to continue. I guess something on my face told him I wasn't dropping the subject simply because he'd kissed me senseless.

"It's not that I think you're going to leave me," I began, starting with the most obvious point.

He nodded, "I won't."

"I know," I continued, patting his chest lightly. His hands came to cover mine, his fingers wrapping around my palms and squeezing gently. It was extremely comforting and strengthening.

I thought for a long time.

"Are you going to watch me grow old, though?" I closed my eyes as tears I hadn't felt gathering slipped down my cheeks.

Edward groaned lightly, dipping his head to get a better look at me before he pulled his hands from mine and used his cool thumbs to wipe away the tears. More replaced them, but I appreciated the gesture.

"Don't cry. I can't stand it when you cry," he whispered; his lower lip trembled with the words, and I instinctively moved my arms to wrap around him. I rested my head against his chest and breathed deeply to absorb as much of his scent as possible.

"You know that your age means nothing to me," he began.

"Yes, but it means everything to me. It is going to mean a whole lot when we're too drastically different in appearance to make any sense. It's going to mean everything when the family in my life realizes that you're not...aging, ever," I forced and groaned internally for getting so upset.

I wanted to be strong for him. I didn't want him to feel like he had to bare the issues by himself, but I was unraveling with the seriousness of our situation.

I braved looking into his eyes. They were full of compassion and yearning. I took a deep breath and reached my hand up to run through his hair before speaking, "Tell me that you'll do it at some point, Edward." The words came out quietly but forcefully.

"Please," I begged.

He cocked his head slightly to the right and studied me intensely.

"Are you serious?" He asked; his voice grave.

I only had to stare at him in response. He understood.

"I've thought about it the entire time you've been here," I confessed.

"God," he moaned and then tilted his head to rest against my hand. I moved my fingers through his hair in reassurance. It was amazing; the bizarre game of give and take of our strength and encouragement was flawless. When I needed him, he was there. When he sought confidence, I was more than willing to give it.

"You still want this?" He whispered urgently.

"I want you. Always," I answered.

"When Chris is older. College is only thirteen years away. There's so much time," he whispered.

I huffed quietly.

"Thirteen years, Edward?" I asked, moving to press a kiss to the side of his nose. He nudged his face against my own, trying to catch my lips with his, but I evaded him, choosing to drop more kisses on his cheeks and eyelids instead.

"So, I succeed in getting my firstborn son off to college only to disappear the next day?" I asked, moving to look at him once again.

"Don't be so blasé about it," Edward rebuked with a scowl.

"I'm not, Edward. I'm saying it's a ridiculous idea. I refuse to think of you changing me as the end. We have to find a way to make it work," I edged, daring him with my eyes to argue.

"It is an end."

"I'm not leaving his life. I can't do that," I explained.

He nodded emphatically. "I know. You told me. I feel the same way."

"You do?"

"I would _never_ expect you to do that."

I wasn't sure before that if Edward thought I could be strong enough to "play dead" once he agreed to changing me at some point. There was no way. Newborn vampire or not, I would not be able to stay away from my son.

"You realize you'll watch him grow old and die?"

His comforting hands on my back were in stark contrast to such a harsh statement falling from his lips. I knew he said it for my own good. He wanted to shock some sense into me, but I was prepared for that tactic.

I fumbled for a bit before managing to reply, "Don't say that."

"You'll have to stop seeing him, because he'll realize _you're_ not aging. He'll sense and know that something is very wrong, Bella. Regardless of how old he is, he will know. Your father will know. Josh will know. Everyone will be able to see that you are not yourself anymore. And," he trailed off once more, shaking his head with frustration.

"Go on," I mumbled. I wanted to hear everything he had to say. I wanted all of his ammunition on the table.

He snapped his eyes to mine and pierced me with his stare.

"That's only if you get your bloodlust and power under control enough to withstand being anywhere near the humans you know before they're all old and gray, or...dead."

I let his warning sink in. Every aspect of the information made sense. I knew it was all true, but I couldn't help but cherish a part of me, some part deep inside, that knew it would work out. In the face of dire circumstances, I had hope. I studied Edward carefully, memorizing the way his fingertips felt on the small of my back and loving the way his eyes seemed to see right through me.

"I will be like you," I spoke firmly, hoping to have left no room for uncertainty in my voice.

Edward's fingers pulled me closer.

"God, help me; I want you to be," he cried into my hair, burying his nose there as he brought my body even closer.

I just held him. I told him I loved him. I kissed him again and again.

Edward clutched me to his body desperately. His embrace bordered on painful, but he was careful to keep me protected from his brute strength. I could sense tension in every muscle as he spoke, "I need you."

"I know. Me too."

He sucked in a deep breath. It sounded like one that I would take if I had lost my breath and was trying to satisfy my panicked lungs.

It didn't seem to calm him, because he tried again and groaned softly.

I closed my eyes and sighed, "Relax."

He shook slightly, and a garbled, rumbling growl stirred from somewhere deep inside him. I felt the vibrations against my cheek and for an instant, I was truly scared. I wasn't worried that he'd hurt me, but my human body could not deny the unnatural presence in my arms. My heart and mind _knew_ he was no threat to me, but my automatic defense system sensed real danger, and I had to calm my instincts to run for the first time. It was such a strange sensation; the battle of wills was intense.

Edward continued freaking out in my arms.

"You're letting your mind run rampant with worst cast scenarios and horrible "what if's," aren't you? Knock it off," I demanded after a minute.

"I'm trying," he grumbled, his arms tightening a little more around my chest.

I smiled softly through my drying tears, loving him for the frustration in his voice. I was fairly certain that he would have fled in the past. He was really struggling, but he hadn't left my side, and I was thankful for that. It was more progress.

"Close your eyes," I directed when I felt no improvement after a few seconds.

He did.

"Good. Mine are closed too," I began, pulling my head back and resting my lips over the material of his t-shirt. I began softly against his chest, knowing full-well that he could feel the heat from every spoken word through the thin material.

"Imagine we're in the meadow, our meadow, and the sun is shining so brightly."

Edward took a deep breath, his arms loosening slightly around my waist.

I could tell he opened his mouth to say something, but I was quick to cut him off. "It's the most beautiful day. The sky is blue, and there's such a feeling of peacefulness all around us. Nothing can touch us. There's no one around for miles. My hand is in yours, like this," I whispered as I grasped his left arm and worked to intertwine our fingers.

He sighed.

"And, there's quiet here," I murmured, reaching with my free hand to brush my fingers over his beautiful forehead.

He kept his eyes closed but dipped his head forward, seeking more from my hand. I smiled when I sensed him move, threading my fingers through his hair in answer to his silent request.

"We're just enjoying the warmth. You let me unbutton your shirt, so you feel the heat settling into the very center of you."

"Bella," he moaned.

It was working. His fingers were grasping and caressing mine where our hands were joined, and his head dipped to seek my lips. I moved my hands to run up his waist, content to feel his muscles reacting to my touch instead of locked in tense opposition.

"It's perfect," I continued.

"I'm completely relaxed, and you're humming so softly that I have to strain to hear you, but it's the most beautiful melody, and I don't want to miss any of it so I work my way even closer until my face is tucked into your shoulder."

Edward moved his lips to rest against the shell of my ear. I stifled a quiet moan when he exhaled softly causing shivers to run down my neck and spine.

"Yes," I whispered.

He did not reply.

"Do you feel better?" I asked after a minute.

He shifted his right foot forward and took a little step. I moved back. I finally opened my eyes and was surprised to see his still shut tight. He didn't answer me, but he did take another step. I moved with him, surprised when my back came to rest against the opposite counter. I looked up again and sure enough, his eyes were still shut.

He sighed again, and a tiny smirk graced his sexy lips.

"What are you doing, Edward?" I breathed, running my hands up his chest.

He stilled and then wove his fingers through my hair, gently tilting my head back to await his lips. My breathing sped up, and I stared at him, willing him to open his eyes, but he didn't.

Finally, he spoke against my mouth, "Shhh, Bella. I'm unbuttoning your shirt."

I caught the amazing smile that spread across his face at my expense an instant before he kissed me. Let him tease me; I'd survive. And, someday, I'd make him pay. I would really make him pay.

We finally pulled into the Cullen driveway around nine-thirty on Thursday evening. The drive was only six hours, but with Edward competently behind the wheel, we made it in a little over five. I was sure that since we decided to leave after we picked Chris up from school that afternoon, that he'd be so exhausted from a full day, he'd sleep most of the way. Wrong. He talked our ears off. I was literally beat from several hours of stories. I even debated having Edward stop for another round of chicken McNuggets about three hours in, since the only period of blissful silence existed while Chris devoured his food.

We heard about his friends at school, t-ball teammates, movies, and he explained in detail his excitement about seeing Jasper and Alice again. Edward briefly talked about the members of his family Chris was yet to meet, and that sparked a questioning session that lasted at least half an hour. Chris wanted to know every little thing about Emmett, Rosalie, Carlisle, and Esme. I was happy to hear the genuine excitement in his voice, and the feel of Edward's hand coming to grasp mine before resting them on my leg gave me the peace I was seeking.

I was simply anxious to be with them again. I knew everything would be okay, and I had no qualms about seeing them all, but I couldn't help the nervousness that our very real trip was causing as we quickly neared their home.

I caught Edward smiling brightly on numerous occasions; his eyes glued to the rearview mirror where he was transfixed by my chattering son in the back seat.

And, bless Edward's heart. He was an active participant in every conversation, even the ones that Chris could have fully carried on for hours by himself. Edward asked him questions, responded appropriately, and consistently brought up new topics that were somehow connected to the off-the-wall ones my son was drilling into the ground.

Relief swept through me when Edward finally announced that we were only a street away. Chris clapped excitedly and cheered. I was ready for a great weekend with his family, but most importantly, I wanted this for Edward. I wanted him to have all the pieces he needed for true happiness together. I was also very eager for Carlisle's wisdom and investigation into Chris' abilities. Throughout the previous week, I found myself accepting his gifts and worrying less and less about them. They weren't harmful, and the fact that they seemed effective only around vampires was comforting for some reason.

I took a big, calming breath as Edward brought the car to a stop on the gravel pathway. The house in front of us was gorgeous; it was everything I expected. A large, wrap-around porch graced the front, and I took one look at the warm light pouring out of every one of the downstairs windows and knew we would feel very much at home.

"I see her!" Chris shouted happily as I exited the passenger seat and started helping him out of his booster seat.

I turned my head and saw the entire family pouring out onto the porch. Alice was front and center, waving ecstatically a second before she bounded down the steps in our direction.

Edward laughed softly from my left, all three of our suitcases already at his feet.

"Think he's excited?" He asked when he caught my look.

I rolled my eyes. "Just a little," I mumbled as Chris hopped from my arms and ran away. The crunch under his feet from the rocks dissipated as he ran around the car and disappeared from sight.

I looked up and found Edward staring at me with a smile.

"Don't be nervous. I love you, Bella."

"Love you more," I answered with a smile.

He was clearly encouraging me, and I was ever so thankful for it. I smoothed my hands on my jeans and led the way around the car to his family. Chris was already at the base of the porch with Alice and Jasper crouched down talking to him.

She was smiling ear to ear, and I looked up to find the rest of his family completely engrossed in their conversation. Emmett was smiling brightly from where he stood slightly behind his wife. Rosalie was stunning, dressed in jeans and a white sweater that made her blonde hair even more vibrant.

I watched them all for a moment. Carlisle tore his attention away from Chris first, shifting his eyes to meet mine an instant before a breathtaking smile took over his face. I exhaled and smiled reflexively. His expression was one of such joy and relief. I found myself walking in his direction, driven by some unfamiliar feeling.

He met me half-way. We didn't speak. His arms opened, and I tucked myself into them naturally. He chuckled softly and wrapped them gently around me.

"Oh, Bella," he spoke quietly.

"Hi, Carlisle. It's so good to see you," I said.

He gave me a little squeeze before we both pulled away.

"I'm so happy you're here. We all are. I can't tell you how dearly you've been missed," he spoke softly.

I smiled in response and felt myself tearing up as Esme appeared in front of him. She was literally glowing with happiness.

"Bella," she whispered my name so softly, and I realized the urgent sound of her voice was a result of tears she couldn't shed but so desperately wanted to.

Carlisle placed his hands on her shoulders in a comforting gesture.

I only managed a pathetic mumbling of her name as she moved to embrace me. We didn't let go for a while. She was patting my back and running her hand over my hair, and I would have sworn my own mother was the one whose arms I was in. She comforted me in a way I wouldn't have thought possible for someone I hadn't seen in almost ten years. It just felt right.

I heard Chris chatting happily as Esme pulled back and stared at me in amazement.

"He's stunning," she said as she turned her head.

I followed her gaze and laughed out loud when I saw Chris approximately seven feet higher off the ground than he should have been. A very proud Emmett had his huge hands around Chris' shins as he anchored my son from his position atop his shoulders.

"You're so tall!" Chris cheered from behind Emmett's head.

"And fast!" Emmett retorted with a beaming smile.

He wouldn't...

My eyes widened, and I shot my stare to Rosalie. She laughed genuinely and met my gaze. She nodded her head assuredly, and I sighed. I didn't think he'd take off running with Chris up there, but her reassurance was a good thing.

"Mommy, come here," Chris shouted, and I did.

I walked the rest of the way to the house, smiling as Emmett wordlessly studied me the entire way. Rosalie exuded warmth and hospitality as she hugged me briefly and welcomed me.

"Hey, Emmett," I said when I realized we still hadn't greeted each other.

He pulled Chris gently from his shoulders a moment before moving through the doorway. I watched in fascination as he held him naturally to his chest. Chris looked like a toddler again in his big arms. I smiled when Chris tilted his head and ran his hand over Emmett's upper arm in amazement.

"Bella, welcome home, sweetheart," Emmett whispered quietly as he moved and pressed a kiss to the side of my head. His movement brought Chris to my face as well, and his laughter made me smile brightly as I realized Emmett simultaneously greeted me and tickled his tummy.

"Do you play football, Emmett? You're so strong!" Chris asked excitedly once he recovered from his laughter.

Emmett laughed heartily and beamed at Chris some more before answering, "I play every sport, buddy."

The look of amazement Chris gave Emmett had everyone laughing. They all convened in the foyer while Edward and I watched as my son began charming them one at a time.

I set my purse down and felt Edward's arms slip around me from behind. I sighed and wrapped my arms around his in relief. It did feel like I was home, and as I looked at the people in front of me, I knew two things for sure. I didn't want them to ever be without their brother and son again, and I had really, truly missed them.

We spent the next hour talking in their gorgeous family room. We caught each other up on what everyone had been doing for the last few years. They were extremely attentive every time I spoke, and I felt genuine interest pouring from every person. A few times, someone would say something funny or make a joke, and Edward's laughter seemed to catch them by surprise. I noticed them eyeing him with such intensity when he smiled brightly or laughed heartily.

Esme was the ideal hostess, of course. She had a light meal ready for us when we arrived. I was a little too keyed up to eat, and Chris was so tired that he took a few bites before he left the table and sat on the couch. His eyes began to flutter closed from his spot next to Edward. He was clearly exhausted, and I asked Edward where we would be sleeping so that I could get him changed into pajamas.

"Follow me," he answered.

We stood, and I made my way to pick up Chris since he was already half-way to dreamland, but Edward beat me to it. He expertly scooped him up and had his head held sweetly to his shoulder before I could say anything. Chris sighed and brought his hand up to wrap around Edward's neck, his legs dangling down the length of Edward's chest. I don't think Edward realized it, but he turned his cheek at that moment and dropped a kiss on Chris' forearm.

I heard several feminine gasps of endearment in that instant, and Edward looked up at his family and me with confusion.

Esme, Rosalie, and Alice were staring at him with utter love in their eyes. I glanced to the guys and chuckled when I realized they had turned their attention to their respective wives.

"Oh, yeah, you guys," I began.

Everyone turned and looked to me.

"Prepare yourselves. These two," I said as I motioned at Edward and Chris.

Everyone nodded.

"Will gag you with cute this weekend."

Laughter rang out from every person, and I saw Edward moving carefully to the stairs. I smiled back at his family before excusing myself for a bit and moving to follow him.

"Bella," Esme called my name softly.

"Yes?" I asked, turning to face them once again.

"Thank you," she spoke fervently.

I stared at her for a moment, flicking my gaze to every other face in the room and realizing that they were all nodding in agreement. Was she thanking me for coming to visit? No, I decided. She was thanking me for the Edward I'd brought back with me. I didn't think I deserved any appreciation, but I understood her sentiments.

"He's done the same for me," I offered in gratitude.

She and Carlisle's smiles became even brighter if that was possible. I smiled back and left them to get Chris settled.

The complete serenity of the night was shattered only a couple of hours later by hushed but terrified shouting. The words were a mix of Edward and Carlisle's names, followed by a plea for me as well.

I shot up in the bed, gasping as Edward darted out from underneath me and raced to the bedroom door.

"What's wrong?" I begged as I tried to calm my out of control heart, but he did not turn around to answer me.

"I don't know. I didn't hear anything before she started," he replied as he walked out the door.

I was right behind him, stumbling through the darkness of the house. I just wanted to get to Chris. His bedroom was only three doors down from where I slept. I can't describe the terror that exploded in me when I saw Rosalie standing inside the dark bedroom, his bedroom. Her eyes were wild, and she was shaking.

"Rosalie, what is it?" Edward cried as he raced to Chris' bedside. I ran to both of them. Chris was sitting up in bed with a confused look on his face; his hands were gripping the blanket from home that we brought with us. Carlisle and Esme were there a second later.

"Mommy," he mumbled as I reached my arms out, and he crawled into them. Edward placed his hand on the back of Chris' head and they both visibly relaxed.

We all took a deep breath. He was okay.

Carlisle walked to us, and I nodded my head when I caught his silent question; he wanted permission to touch Chris.

There was another moment of tension while Carlisle placed his palm to Chris' forehead and then trailed his fingers over the back of his neck and under his throat.

Emmett stepped further into the room and wrapped his arms securely around Rosalie. Her hands gripped his forearms with visible, desperate strength.

"It's just a fever, Rosalie," Carlisle whispered after a second of peace.

I nodded my head in agreement. This was not a first, and I was sure that Chris was only suffering from a mild cold. He'd been sneezing intermittently for the past day or two, and I was already informed by his pediatrician that starting school would most likely lead to increased episodes of common illnesses.

Rosalie took a deep breath, and everyone in the room turned to smile gently at her. She appeared extremely relieved.

"My God, I'm so sorry, Bella. I just stopped by his door on the way to our bedroom, and I could tell he was burning up! I didn't know what to do. I'm sorry," she spoke so fast that I was only able to understand her once she'd stopped and there was time to process it all.

I smiled warmly at her, my hands drifting through Chris' hair before I pulled back and kissed his forehead.

"I understand completely," I began, intent on saying more, but Rosalie nodded and started to back out of the room. She seemed eager to be away from the entire situation.

"Wait," Chris croaked from my arms.

We all turned to look expectantly at him. Rosalie froze in her tracks and turned with a questioning but gentle look on her face.

"Thank you," he whispered.

I tightened my hold on him, shocked by his unparalleled understanding. Carlisle appeared amazed as well.

Rosalie exhaled deeply and smiled for the first time since the craziness began.

"No problem, Chris," she murmured quietly in response.

Everyone was still for a moment, basking in the renewed peacefulness and content atmosphere of the room. I turned and found Jasper smiling as he leaned against a large set of dresser drawers. His legs were extended and crossed at the ankles. He was a picture of ease, and it surprised me that he was so calm when moments ago, we'd all been frantic.

"Feeling lousy, baby?" I asked Chris, leaning my head down to look into his eyes.

He nodded his head slightly. "Kinda. Just hot and sticky," he mumbled, and I kissed his cheek.

I looked up and met Edward's eyes. He was studying us carefully, his face a mix of concern and love.

"Yeah, I bet. Nothing some Tylenol and juice won't fix, huh?" I said as I ran my hands over his arms. I laughed and graciously accepted the plastic measuring cup of medicine and glass that materialized in front of me.

Carlisle's warm eyes crinkled slightly as he handed me both.

"Way ahead of you, Bella," Esme joked lightly.

"Thank you so much," I answered.

Chris swallowed the syrup obediently and eagerly took sips of the juice. Once he was finished with both, I set them down on the night-stand.

"Take him," I urged Edward as I held Chris' body out slightly.

Edward reached out and gathered Chris to him without question. I watched in appreciation as Chris wrapped his arms around Edward's neck once again and snuggled into his chest. I'm sure the coolness of his skin, even through the material of Edward's t-shirt, was comforting. Once I was free, I stood and moved to Rosalie. She looked at me with apologies in her eyes.

"Thank you so much, Rosalie," I whispered before I stepped closer, forcing Emmett to let go of her unless he wanted his arms in the middle of our hug.

I hugged her warmly, not surprised when her arms gingerly embraced me back. She grew more comfortable in the embrace, and I felt a lot better when I felt her sigh and relax. Her hug was nothing like the one we shared on the porch. It was meaningful and personal. Eventually, she pulled back and I really looked at her for the first time in my life.

She seemed to do the same, and I felt a connection that was undeniable pass between us.

"I'm sorry that I overreacted. It's just that I didn't know what was normal, and I panicked," she whispered quietly.

I nodded. "Don't apologize. You were looking out for him. How could I ever feel anything but gratefulness for that?"

She finally smiled.

"You did the right thing," I added.

"It's just that he's so little," she trailed off, and I glanced over my shoulder to see that Chris was well on his way to falling back to sleep in Edward's arms.

Edward was watching us quietly along with the rest of the family.

"He is. I remember the first time he got sick. I was terrified the entire time. I drove his doctor crazy."

Rosalie laughed lightly, and I smiled with her. She understood me.

She seemed pensive again for a minute. "Do you worry less now?" She asked carefully, her eyes exuding genuine interest.

"About him in general?" I asked for clarification.

She paused to gather her thoughts.

"Yes. Now that he is a little older," she added.

"No," I answered honestly.

She arched an eyebrow and waited.

"I always worry. Every minute that he's out of my sight, and even when he is right in front of me, I have concerns. I'm happy when he is happy. I'm calm when he is content. My heart breaks when he's hurting in any way," I tried my best to give her every explanation that I could.

The truth was, Edward had shared so much with me in the past week. I knew, in detail, about every member of his family, including their human lives. What he told me about Rosalie only strengthened my appreciation for her and her strength. There was agony when I listened to his stories, but I also felt hope. The hope stemmed from the belief that Rosalie now had the love of a good man, and she had forever with him.

"That has to be excruciating," she whispered.

"Yes, but in the most beautiful way," I answered.

She waited for more of an explanation, so I continued as best I could, "All of that worry and nervousness is just a byproduct."

She nodded eagerly. Emmett ran his hands over her shoulders and dipped his head to rest it on her right shoulder. He watched quietly, a loving glint in his eyes as his gaze flickered back and forth from Chris to me.

"It's the result of all my love for him; love so strong that it owns you," I added.

She was quiet as she absorbed my words.

"Well, I guess that would be worth it," she finally concluded.

We both nodded. I watched as the rest of the family bid Edward a quiet goodnight. Carlisle and Esme walked passed us, stopping to smile warmly at Rosalie.

"Goodnight, Bella. Please let us know if there's anything I can do for either of you. I'm sure he'll be much better in the morning. Thank you, Rose," Carlisle whispered, his eyes proud.

She nodded.

"We'll be downstairs if you want to join us," Esme added as she ran her hand over Rosalie's shoulder comfortingly.

"Thank you."

Emmett chuckled and stepped forward to envelop Rosalie in his arms once more.

"Okay, baby," he whispered to her.

She smiled brightly and turned to face him.

"Hmm?" She joked with him.

"Let's leave these kids alone," he stated, waving at Edward and me.

I laughed softly. They followed each other out of the room with Alice and Jasper just in front of them.

"Night, Bella. Sweet dreams!" Alice called from half-way down the stairs.

"Night, guys," I answered.

I turned back and found Edward in the same spot. I walked to him and perched on the edge of the bed.

"You can lay him down now," I offered.

He looked up and smiled hesitantly. I arched a brow and silently questioned him. He ran his hand over Chris' back before settling it over the back of his neck.

"He doesn't want me to leave," he whispered quietly as a pleading look crossed his face.

I stared understandingly at him, trying my best not to smile or laugh. It was so cute. It was as if he was begging me not to make him leave Chris. As if I could ever do that...

"I see."

He ran his hand through the hair at the nape of Chris' neck before speaking again, "I'll just stay here for a while. You go sleep."

Adorable, but that wouldn't do.

"I have a better idea," I said.

Edward waited for me to explain, but I simply stood and nodded my head toward the door.

He appeared confused for a second.

"Bring him?" He then whispered questioningly.

"Yes, Edward."

I padded down the hallway and wasted no time crawling beneath the luxurious down comforter on the king-sized bed Esme had waiting for me when we arrived. I pulled the covers back even more and motioned at the center of the bed as Edward entered the bedroom. He cupped Chris' head expertly and gingerly set him down, not disturbing his sleep in the least.

Confusion struck me when I realized Edward had vanished from the room. I didn't have time to even attempt to whisper his name when he suddenly appeared again with the juice cup and Tylenol in his hands. He set them on the table near his side of the bed.

I thanked him silently with a smirk.

Chris shifted and turned to his side before snuggling up to my body. I allowed him to sleep in my bed every once in a while at home, and he wasted no time finding his trademark spot. I chuckled quietly as he flung his arm out until his hand landed under my chin. I reached up and held it in my own, sighing when he stilled completely and fell more deeply asleep.

I watched as Edward tentatively slipped into bed on the other side of Chris. He was on his side facing us when he reached his hand over Chris and ran his thumb over my cheek. I closed my eyes at the feel of it and covered his hand with my own.

We were quiet for a few minutes. The only noise was soft snores which began as soon as Chris was completely out. Edward smiled and rested his hand on Chris' back for a moment. He held my stare for a while.

"You'll get sick, too," he whispered very softly with a sad look on his face as he studied the way Chris nuzzled closer.

I laughed silently, winking at the incredible man across from me.

"Yes, but thankfully I have someone I'm pretty sure will take care of me," I explained.

Edward smiled beautifully after that. I gave him a gift with those words. He knew I was willing to accept his help, but I also gave him my trust a little more every time I counted on him. I believed it. I'd be taken care of, and as I drifted to sleep with my son in my arms and Edward watching us both, I knew I had not only him, but the support and strength of his entire family. I was fairly certain there wasn't another group of people on earth more equipped to see us through any challenges that may await.


	16. Chapter 16

Chris slept very peacefully after we brought him to bed with us. I woke up only twice after falling asleep with him tucked to my side. Both times I found Edward's tender gaze steadfast in its focus. He smiled warmly and leaned forward the first time, careful to only brush my forehead with his lips and not disturb Chris at all before he retreated back to his side of the bed. It was not uncomfortable in the least, knowing that Edward continued to watch me as I slept. Sure, he did the same in my youth, and I was used to it, but I also knew that I and my entire world was safe in his thoughts. I knew he cherished the opportunity to be so close; he prized the normalcy of the situation. I could never deny him what little solace I was capable of continuing to provide in our new roles.

The second time I woke, I found his eyes slightly crinkled with worry. It was a familiar expression, but I disliked it all the same.

"I'm sorry," he whispered so quietly.

I questioned him with a silent look.

He gestured to Chris' tiny body. I realized belatedly that Edward had actually pulled me from sleep by brushing his hand down my arm. I felt his fingers retreat before I saw his arm slide back to his side of the bed in the darkness.

"What is it?" I asked gently, propping my head in my hand once I leaned up on my elbow to carefully study Chris.

He had rolled over onto his back, but his eyes were closed peacefully, his breathing even and deep. He was the picture of contentment.

"He was really sweaty for a bit," Edward explained.

I nodded, "That's good. The fever broke on its own; that was fast."

Edward nodded.

I reached up and ran my hand through Chris' hair, checking to see if he was still sweating. The room felt very comfortable to me, but I wanted to make sure he wasn't too warm from being snuggled up as we slept.

"He's fine now," I confirmed when I felt nothing but dry strands of silky smooth hair slipping through my fingers.

I saw Edward nod softly as I relaxed and laid my head back down.

A few minutes passed as I started to slip back to my dreams. Chris' soft snoring was the soundtrack to my peaceful state. I was just slipping into that deep, comfortable first stage of sleep when I heard a muted groan from Edward. It sounded like a repressed sob.

I opened my eyes just as he spoke.

"I need you."

The quiet words were barely audible in the room, but there was no mistaking the raw need pouring from them. I sat up slowly and instinctively, startled to see Edward's side of the bed empty. I didn't even feel the bed shift. He was there one second and gone the next.

"Edward?" I called as I searched the shadows for him.

"Here," his pained voice came from just in front of the doorway.

I whipped my head in his direction and followed his voice as best I could. I neared the small sliver of light pouring in from the hallway and gasped softly when I felt his cool fingers gently grab my arm, guiding me closer to the door. He reached out and opened it partially, allowing me to slip by him before he followed and closed the door ever so quietly behind us.

I turned to ask him if he was alright, but his chest filled my field of vision. I had only a millisecond to register that his body, strong and graceful as one could ever imagine, was surging toward me. I angled my hips and shuffled my feet lazily a few steps until my back hit the wall. Edward's legs and chest pressed against me with no room for miscommunication left between us. I moaned quietly and couldn't help the deep-rooted need to crane my neck back, begging him to take what I knew he needed. It was affection, kisses and worshipful caresses that I needed from him and which I knew was all he truly desired, but still my body seemed to be offering him something completely different. Something that went against every instinct I'd felt since giving birth. My whole world revolved around taking care of my son and by extension...myself. The superficial things I may have wanted for myself were easily forgettable when meeting the needs of my child were paramount, but with Edward, my heart and mind seemed to consider him equal to Chris. I wanted him to have it all.

I grasped at Edward's t-shirt, my fists clenching the material tightly as I fought to control my breathing. He'd hardly touched me, but I could literally feel the intensity of his emotions like they were my own, and I was overcome by how powerful they were. I felt his hands on my hips, gently gripping my sides before they slipped up and caressed the bare skin under my shirt in tender sweeps of his fingers. Then, his face came closer, and he brushed his nose tenderly over the hollow of my throat before resting it along the exposed column of my neck.

I whimpered needfully, not entirely sure what I was asking of him but confident I would not rescind my offer regardless of what he decided to take. I trusted him wholly. I needed him completely.

I felt his lips ghosting up my neck before his nose was back, nuzzling into the spot just behind my left ear. I knew the heat and scent of my body was concentrated there, insulated by my hair, and if Edward's humming body was any indication, he was enjoying the exploration. I willed myself to relax, gathering enough clarity to slide my hands from his chest to wrap around him. I rested them on his hips. He sighed against my skin when I tugged feebly at his lower body, wanting him to push even closer.

"I, you, oh," he mumbled against my skin a second before he finally kissed me.

The kiss was unlike anything I'd ever experienced before. It went so far beyond electric. It put all of my past experiences with Josh to shame, and I did not feel guilty thinking that for even a second, because it was the simple truth. Edward's lips loved mine. He didn't just kiss me; he lay himself bare with his lips and tongue, never once needing to let me into his mouth. He angled his head perfectly and took my top lip between his, alternating between leaving small kisses and long, searing caresses of his tongue over it. He switched then, drawing back and leaving me chasing his mouth with my own before coming back to meet me, pulling my bottom lip to him. I cried out my pleasure to him, needing him to know what he was doing to me while simultaneously trying to convince myself of the magic I felt in every bone in my body. My hands grabbed at him, trying to find purchase somewhere that felt permanent. I settled on sliding my hands through his hair, the feel of his cold scalp and neck making me moan deliciously against his insistent mouth.

"Take me somewhere," I whispered the words into his mouth, greedily sucking in the air that left Edward because it smelled like perfection. It smelled of him and us together.

"Yes," he gasped when I tugged his head back with my hands buried in his hair, leaning forward to kiss his throat. I moved my way down to his collar bone, loving the skin in my path with my tongue and lips. Edward's hands rhythmically squeezed my back and moved to rest in a splayed out position over my stomach. He held me back against the wall softly but firmly. He was preventing me from clinging to him, and I was fine with that so long as he let me keep kissing him.

"It's not the same," I heard him whisper in wonder. It almost sounded like he was talking to himself, but I knew he was too practiced in control to let something slip unless he meant for me to hear it. I urged him to keep talking with my hands since I wasn't about to stop kissing him. I was halfway to the hollow of his throat. I slid my hands down the back of his neck and brought them around to dip below his shirt and his waistband. I was encouraged when I felt his stomach muscles quiver but not clench.

"This doesn't feel the same," he clarified.

I paused, standing completely still. My heart was beating rapidly, and I stared at the skin I was just worshiping for a second before tipping my head up to meet his intense stare. His eyes were dark and heavy. He met my gaze and poured over my face for a solid minute before continuing.

He licked his lips, "Before, being with you felt like everything I knew I shouldn't want. It felt like I was cheating, ignoring _what_ I am and claiming to deserve better."

I nodded slowly, moving my hands to rub his upper arms in support. He knew I did not agree with him; that was obvious, but I would hear him out no matter what.

"And, now?" I asked.

Edward blinked once. His hands shifted to my arms. They moved under me, and I swallowed the surprised gasp when I felt my body being lifted. I was off my feet in an instant with my arms around his neck. He guided my legs around his waist, my ankles immediately interlocking behind him. He shifted forward, pressing me back against the wall. I dropped my head to rest on his shoulder with my lips against his ear.

"Oh, Edward."

He quieted me with a brush of his finger over my lips before speaking, "Now, it feels like I'd be wrong to be anywhere else."

His eyes were honest, and I saw nothing but naked vulnerability and trust on his face.

"Yes, baby. Yes, exactly. Finally," I cried in relief when I felt his mouth once more, insistent and urgent before he pulled back and stared at me with the most adoring expression.

I woke up the next morning to a surprisingly empty bed. The shades were still drawn in the beautiful guest bedroom, providing the most tempting environment to sleep late into the morning in. I ran my hands over my face and checked the bedside clock. It was a little after eight. Chris was undoubtedly awake, and I wanted to make sure he was feeling better before I thought about a morning shower. The last night was a blur of unbelievable events and heartwarming progress. I listened carefully for any noise in the rest of the house, but I heard nothing. It was quiet, but not eerily so. I felt content, and I took peace in knowing that regardless of how Chris was feeling, or even where he was, he was with Edward and that meant he was safe.

I took a few selfish moments to stretch languidly, smiling when my back protested slightly - most likely from the thirty minutes spent pressed against the hall wall as Edward kissed me senseless. He'd eventually pulled away and placed me gently on my feet, fixing my wild hair and promising me more when we could be alone. I dreamily agreed, letting him tuck me back into the bed beside a still snoring Chris. I watched intently as Edward reclaimed his spot next to us. This time, though, his hand sought mine, and I fell asleep with our fingers intertwined, resting beside my son.

Eventually, I forced myself out of the insanely comfortable bed and quickly brushed my teeth. After getting dressed in some jeans and a simple, white sweater, I made my way barefoot down the stairs. I found only empty rooms along the way. As my feet hit the cool tile of the entryway, I heard the first voices of the day. My son was carefully instructing someone on the fine art of chocolate chip pancakes.

"Just drop lots of 'em right here," he happily directed.

Esme appeared to be playing clueless, needing his help.

I closed the distance to the kitchen and quietly snuck up on the gorgeous man in front of me. Edward was sitting at the kitchen table, studiously watching Esme and Chris as they poured batter over the rarely used griddle. I knew that he'd heard me wake up, leave the bed, and even trudge down the stairs, but he played along, giving no indication of knowing I was near.

"Morning," I whispered into his left ear as I wrapped my arms around him from behind, bending slightly to kiss him on his neck - my new happy place.

He smelled delicious, incredibly clean and familiar.

His hands came to hold mine, securing them as he craned his neck to face me with a genuinely beautiful smile.

"Morning, Bella," he practically cooed in response, running his hands tenderly over my arms before he gently pulled me around. I ended up perched on his lap.

"Thank you for letting me sleep in."

His eyes darted to mine, seemingly unwilling to pull his attention from Chris or Esme for more than a second, "My pleasure. I think I owed it to you, after all," he finished with a playful wink.

"Mmm," I pressed another quick kiss to his forehead.

"So, does your mom even get a hello?" I finally spoke loudly enough to draw Chris' attention away from his breakfast treat.

He whipped his head around, and I was instantly relieved to see bright, clear eyes shining back at me. It was obvious that the cold didn't really take hold of his body, and he seemed perfectly healthy.

He giggled quietly at something Esme leaned down to say to him before answering me, "Hi, mommy! Hang on."

"Good morning, Esme. Thank you so much for taking care of him while I slept," I smiled warmly in her direction, and she met my stare, the emotion in her eyes unmistakable.

She was truly enjoying herself, and I gave her a quick nod to express my appreciation and understanding of the sentiment in her expression. It was a silent conversation, but it was meaningful in many ways. She was such an admirable woman, a source of strength to her partner and a comfort to her children in often times incomprehensible ways.

Chris ran to me, clutching a plate with obvious concentration.

"Here you go, mom. I made them just for you," he proudly smacked the plate down on the table and smiled brightly at me.

I looked down and nearly laughed out loud at the amount of chocolate chips peeking out from the pancake.

"Thank you, sweetie. It was very nice of you to add some batter to my chocolate chips," I teased, quickly lurching forward to grab him around the waist.

I caught him by surprise, but he hardly fought me as I gathered him up and kissed all over his face. His hands held my shoulders while he tried half-heartedly to lean back and dodge the loudest of my showy smooches.

"Momma!" he exclaimed happily.

Suddenly, he was gone, and I had to laugh when I gathered my wits enough to register Emmett's retreating form with my son slung carefully over his shoulder.

"Got ya, little man. We men have to look out for each other. She was going kiss crazy on you, huh?"

Chris continued laughing for a bit before he was able to answer.

"She totally was. She does that a lot! Woah, don't drop me," he squealed from atop Emmett's shoulder.

We all laughed in response, and I couldn't help the intense feeling of joy that shot through me when I heard a belly laugh coming from Edward, which I realized was completely foreign to me. It was an amazing sound, but it did even more stunning things to his face.

"I would never drop you. Not gonna happen; I promise," Emmett chuckled as he bent to deposit Chris on the countertop behind him.

His little jean clad butt hit the cool granite, and he cheered.

"Awesome. Can we do piggy back rides outside later?"

"You bet. I think we should spend all day outside. It's nice and cool, but there's no rain," Emmett replied easily.

That was code for no sunshine in the forecast the day, and I was thankful for small miracles. Sparkling skin would definitely not escape my kid's attention. I was quiet, absorbing the scene around me happily. Chris was handed a plate of pancakes, and Esme helped him pour syrup over them before she gathered him up and set him down at a chair next to me.

"Thank you," Chris said.

"No problem," she replied.

I took a few bites of my breakfast and moaned appreciatively over the warm goodness, "Mmm, these are delicious, guys. Good work."

"Don't you want some, Edward?" Chris paused in the middle of shoving another big forkful into his mouth to study the man across from him with a concerned and warm expression.

I paused in my eating as well, shooting a calming look at Edward. He met my stare and smiled. It wasn't the first time Chris questioned his lack of eating, but it was important because it signaled his continued curiosity. I watched Chris carefully, wondering what he'd think of the response Edward would choose.

A few seconds passed with no answer. I looked curiously back at Edward, but it was Chris' voice that had me turning back to him once again.

"Oh, cool."

Esme and Emmett were statues, staring at us from the counter where they had both been busying themselves with cleaning up the kitchen.

"Did he just?" Emmett asked quietly, motioning wildly at Chris before gesturing in Edward's direction.

Esme's mouth was open just a fraction, her perfect face the picture of amazement.

"Yes," Edward answered them with a soft smile and a wink back at Chris.

"Oh, man. Bella, I don't envy you. Not only are you outnumbered, but they don't even speak out loud," Esme mumbled, continuing to smile to herself as she turned the faucet on and began filling the coffee pot with fresh water.

"Tell me about it," I replied, leaning over to steal a strawberry from Chris' plate.

He smiled at me and quietly rotated his plate, putting the rest of the strawberries closer to me. I knew he dislike them, and it was his way of silently offering me the rest. He most likely accepted them out of fear of hurting Esme's feelings. I always tried to teach him that being a picky eater outside of our own home was unacceptable, and that sometimes, we have to eat things that may not be our absolute favorite when they are graciously offered to us.

Edward surprised me by clearing his throat after a subtle chuckle. Then, he reached his hand out and patted my knee under the table before speaking, "Chris, don't worry about eating anything you don't like. Nobody will be insulted. You're family here, okay?"

I took a big drink of orange juice and smiled at Chris. Obviously, he'd been thinking about my prior words to him while offering the hated berries to me. I was jealous for a moment. Sometimes, I think I'd give anything to know what's going through my child's head. I know half the time, it's got to be unbelievably adorable and that's reason enough to want an all-access pass, but I'd also like the reassurance that he truly feels secure and loved despite the rocky events of the past few years in his young life.

Chris didn't say anything back to Edward. He simply stood up, took his plate in his hands and walked over to Edward.

"Up?" Edward asked.

Chris nodded once in affirmation.

I tried not to gape as Edward helped him to sit on his lap. He had only a few bites left to finish eating, but he returned to his food with focus and seemed oblivious to the other adults in the room with the sappiest expressions all over our faces.

I wiped away tears which began gathering in my eyes the moment I realized what Chris was doing. It was his way of thanking Edward for saving him from the uncomfortable situation. Edward watched the pieces of pancake quickly disappearing off the plate in front of Chris as if it was the most interesting thing he'd seen in a long time. Once it was all gone, Chris sighed and flopped back against Edward's chest.

"Ouch," he mumbled when his head came to rest on Edward's upper chest, "You're strong, too, Edward," he decided.

Edward laughed lightly and held his arms loosely around Chris' chest, "Yeah, I guess I am."

We all relaxed for a few minutes until the rest of the family joined us in the kitchen, having returned from what they said was an early morning shopping trip. I knew they'd been hunting as the gorgeous lightness of their eyes left little doubt about their true activities. We had a wonderful time visiting. I drank two cups of coffee while Chris drew and chatted happily with Jasper and Alice.

Carlisle was especially attentive to Chris, watching him closely but never missing a beat when it came to playing with him and answering any question Chris came up with.

"Can we go outside now?" Chris asked when it was almost ten.

Edward was quick to answer him with en excited, "Yes, of course."

"Hey, babe. Who helped you get dressed today?" I asked as he scurried down from one of the chairs and started for his shoes, which were sitting on the floor by the front door. I was surprised to see him in such a great outfit. I knew he would have been hard pressed to dig a coordinating outfit, appropriate for the weather, out of our suitcase without some serious help.

He paused on his way by me and dipped his head to study his own shirt, "Umm, Edward did. He said layers would be good."

I just nodded, "He was right. You look great."

"Edward said boys just have to match and have clothes with no wrinkles. Girls have to worry about fashim," Chris added with a smile before running away.

We all laughed warmly.

"Nice, Edward," Alice chirped in feigned annoyance as she rounded the corner out of the kitchen.

"You're sure you're comfortable leaving him?"

I looked up and nodded eagerly, "Yes, of course. I know he's in great hands with them."

We both looked back at the scene unfolding in the Cullen's backyard. Emmett had organized some sort of flag-football game with the boys happily squaring off against the girls. My son was darting around the grass with the family chasing and pretending to stumble as they attempted to pull a piece of toilet paper from his makeshift belt.

"I'm gonna get you, Jasper!" Chris hollered as he sprinted as quickly as his little legs could carry him across the wide expanse of grass.

Jasper jumped and turned to run, moving at what I'm sure was a pain-stakingly slow pace for him but looked like an average jog to me.

"Aahh!" he yelled as Chris deftly stole a strip of toiler paper from his belt even though he didn't have the ball.

"I'm not sure he gets the concept," I joked with Edward as we continued walking toward the edge of the forest.

"Yeah, I don't really think any of them care," Edward replied warmly as the game seemed to consist mostly of watching Chris enjoy the shenanigans going on all around him.

"Ok, Bella. You ready?"

I heard the change in his tone of voice immediately. There was pure desire racing through him, and I wasted no time pulling myself up on his back.

"Give me your legs," he asked.

I wrapped them around his stomach in response and felt his hands secure my ankles with a reassuring pat.

"You're closing your eyes?"

"Yes," I answered.

"Nervous?"

"No."

"Tell me to stop, and I will."

"I know."

"Go," I told him as I tucked my head into his neck and tightened my arms around his chest.

With that, he did. He ran and ran. The wind was incredible in my face and hair. Even thought it had been years, I felt like I'd never left Edward's side while he ran like that. The sensation was familiar, and it was right in every way. I gasped when I felt drops of water licking at my legs accompanied by the loud swish of water rushing over rocks. I cautiously looked down to see that Edward was expertly crossing a decent sized river.

"Why didn't you just jump?" I asked after I'd closed my eyes again.

"I didn't want to scare you."

"I'm fine. I promise,"

"Ok, I will next time, then," he replied warmly.

"K."

A minute passed, and I braved opening my eyes for a second more before snapping them shut when the blurred trees whipping by were completely indistinguishable. "Well, you know, maybe you could just warn me before you jump."

Edward laughed lightly, "Of course, Bella."

"Hey, how much of your actual speed are you using right now?" I asked, speaking against his ear with my head safely tucked in its hiding spot.

"This is like a fast jog for me," he answered quickly.

My mind reeled with that information. He truly was magnificent.

"You'd never be able to hold on if I really ran," he added, his voice tinged with something painful.

I thought about his words for a bit in silence. I knew they were true, but they didn't have to remain that way forever.

"Edward..."

"Yes?"

"I'll run with you someday," I spoke with conviction.

I don't know how, but I still felt his body tense with my statement. He didn't miss a step, but I saw the hint of frustration on his brow.

"That's what I'd dream about if I was able," he murmured, his voice fading into the wind as we hurled through the forest.

I kissed the back of his neck, desperate to convey my emotion. Finally, he began to slow.

"Don't open your eyes yet, Bella. Not until I tell you to."

"Okay."

I felt him carefully lower me to the ground, which gave slightly under my tennis shoes. I held onto his hands, partly for balance and also because I wasn't ready to be separated from him after such close contact. It was relatively quiet around us. There was no rushing water, but I heard a slight rustling, and my curiosity began to grow as I wondered where Edward had taken me. He seemed very eager to share this place with me once we discussed our plans for the afternoon. Alice all but jumped for joy when he told her he wanted to take me on a little "trip." She eagerly volunteered to plan the activities for the rest of the day for Chris and the family if Edward wanted some time away.

I felt Edward move to stand behind me. His hands rested on my hips, and he urged me forward a step. I reached my foot out and felt it sink into what felt like very thick dirt.

"Are we still in the forest?" I asked, almost ready to peek.

"No."

His hands left me, and I felt alone.

"Open your eyes," I heard him call softly from a few feet back.

Color. I was stunned. I swayed back a step, only to find Edward's arms wrapping around me the instant my feet stumbled.

"Oh my God," I breathed in awe, amazed at the vivid picture laid out before me. I was standing in middle of the most unbelievable field of tulips imaginable. They went on forever. It was an ocean of perfection. I didn't have words for the colors that made up the petals and bulbs. My eyes watered reflexively at the beauty, and I felt the most intense urge to just start walking. I wanted to be in the middle of them. I dropped my hands to my sides, realizing after the fact that they'd flown to my chest in awe at the first glimpse.

I took a few steps, my fingers gingerly brushing the lush leaves and stems all around me. The vibrant green was cool under my touch, and I simply moved, driven to explore such otherworldly beauty. The sun was breaking through the clouds, and I gasped aloud when the shock of colors suddenly grew even more intense. The flowers around me were glowing. I whirled around, finding Edward just behind me, studying only my face and not the magic around him.

"Your skin," I whispered, watching as the sunlight glittered and sparked outward from his arms and face, reflecting on the rainbow of color and making it too much to believe.

"This place is perfect," I offered lamely, not having the ability to verbalize my thoughts any better.

Edward smiled sincerely, reveling in the moment through my reactions.

"You know they're my favorite," I said as I watched him shine in a moment of happiness.

"Of course."

"How?"

He arched a brow at me, making me laugh. Of course he knew what my favorite flower was. Even if I never told him, he would know.

I smiled at him and took a few more steps into the little piece of Heaven that Edward had provided for the day. I turned to ask him if we could stay all afternoon when I froze, my mind reeling as I processed bits and pieces of a memory long forgotten. I know I must have looked confused, because Edward moved closer, his hand reaching out to mine. I ignored it and only stared back, unseeing while I relived a night from years past. I gasped softly, and the hot tear that rolled down my cheek brought it all back with crystal clear clarity.

_I felt sobs grip my body, but I forced them back, pulling the tiny bundle to my chest. I ran my hands over his back, my palm spanning his entire upper body. _

_"Please, baby, sshh," I cooed, brushing my cheek against his. _

_His eyes found mine immediately, scrunched up in pain but seeking my stare nonetheless. _

_"Hi, beautiful." _

_He cried loudly, his tiny screams breaking my heart. _

_"I know, Chris. I know. I wish I could make it all better. I'd do anything," I whispered to him, backing up to sit in the rocker in the corner of his room. _

_His body tensed yet again, his stomach becoming rock hard under my fingers as I tried in vain to massage him. I felt the tears keep falling. I felt so alone and helpless. My son was in pain, and I couldn't make it stop. I took a deep breath and turned him to lay over my lap as the doctor recommended when the colic was really an issue. He kicked his tiny legs against me, no doubt confused by what I was trying to do. I leaned forward to lay kisses on his bald head, but I knew he felt none of my affection in his hysterics. _

_It was three in the morning, and my eyelids were heavy with my need for sleep, but I was wired. This was the fourth bad night in a row, and I was feeling useless. I knew we were doing everything we could, but I hated the helplessness. There had to be something I was missing. Josh was so easy going about all of it. He would take turns with him when it got bad, but I knew he needed his sleep with such an important business trip the next day. I sighed and drew his frantic body back up to my chest, securing him under my chin. _

_It was somewhat warm in his nursery, where I'd retreated with him when he began crying in earnest. I stood and opened his bedroom window a bit with one hand, taking a deep breath when the cool night air swirled in, bringing with it a sense of peacefulness and strength. _

_"Feel the breeze," I whispered to him, watching his lips tremble. _

_He quieted momentarily, taking a few gasping breaths of air and hiccuping a couple times. I watched him carefully, moving to stand closer to the window. It was too dark to see much, but I found the rustling of the leaves so calming. _

_"That's it. I've got you. I love you so much, Chris." _

_His eyes slipped fully closed for an instant before snapping back open. It was almost as if he was checking to make sure I hadn't disappeared. He fought falling asleep in my arms for another minute before I felt the stiffness leave his body altogether. His right arm flopped to the side, and I smiled in teary relief as I cuddled him closer._

_"That's it. Sweet dreams, baby. I'm so tired, too," I said, moving to sit back down in the chair. There was no way I was putting him down anytime soon when he'd just found relief from the pain and discomfort we'd spent the last two hours battling. _

_I fell in and out of a light sleep for the next hour as I rocked and bathed in the cool air with my baby clutched to my chest. When I was beyond the point of functioning, I carefully laid him down in his crib and could have cried in relief when he didn't stir. I slipped back into bed with my husband, feeling his hand slide up my hip when he sensed me there. _

_"He okay?"_

_"Yeah, for now," I whispered back, closing my eyes when he moved forward to snuggle up. _

_"You're an amazing mother, Bella." _

_I slept for thirty minutes before Chris woke me up for the morning. _

_Josh left for his four-day trip after breakfast, and I had just finished two loads of laundry when the doorbell rang. I opened the door and smiled brightly. _

_"Oh, wow! They're gorgeous," I said to the delivery man. _

_He smiled back and handed me the huge vase of tulips. There were yellow, orange, pink, and stunning mixtures of lavender and purple flowers exploding from every available spot in the jar. _

_"They really are," the guy answered back, thanking me when I signed and tipped him a few dollars. _

_I carried them carefully into the kitchen and set them down, displaying them in the middle of the counter. Chris cooed contentedly from his swing. I smiled and pulled the simple white card from the center of the arrangement. I thought it was incredibly sweet of Josh to send them after what he must have figured out was a pretty rough night for me. The message was simple, but it had me smiling for the rest of the day. _

_**Bella,**_

_**You are exactly what you need to be for him.**__**Never doubt that or yourself. **_

_I wasn't sure how Josh nailed down my worry so perfectly, but the card and flowers calmed me completely. With that simple affirmation, my energy was renewed, and I felt a boost in confidence that I found priceless. _

_Of course, I spilled formula on the card a day later, and the tulips faded quickly when I left them in the direct sunlight of the kitchen for too long during a trip to Charlie's, but I loved those flowers. I loved them so much. Even after I tossed them, their presence was so appreciated. _

_I forgot to thank Josh by the time he got home. Out of sight, out of mind. It slipped my mind in the midst of midnight feedings and articles needing attention for work, but their effect lingered. _

I looked up at Edward and rubbed a hand over my chest, trying to calm its racing.

"You sent them?" I asked quietly.

He shifted uneasily and looked surprised that I'd drawn that conclusion so quickly.

He hesitated for a moment before his face crumpled slightly, and he nodded once while admitting, "I did."

I swayed and folded my legs deliberately beneath me to sit on the ground before I fell.

"I had no idea," I cried.

Edward dropped to his knees in front of me and nodded, "How could you? I knew what your assumption would be."

"Edward," I mumbled, not sure what to say. I was so overcome with love for him.

"I didn't bring you here to talk about this. I just thought you'd enjoy the field. I'm sorry I've made you emotional," he offered, reaching out to run his hand over my cheek.

I looked at him and smiled through my tears, "You couldn't have picked a better place in the world."

His face froze.

"Edward," I only had to whisper his name once, and I was in his arms. He gathered me to him, sliding me easily onto his lap. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him with everything I had, and I knew I'd spend the rest of my life being exactly what two men would need. One was my son, and the other was the man who became my world the moment he stepped into it.


	17. Chapter 17

The following three days spent with the Cullens were nothing short of amazing. Chris enjoyed himself immensely, and I was beyond thankful that each member of the family seemed genuinely interested in getting to know him. Carlisle and Esme were so natural with him, and I found myself comparing them to Charlie and Renee as grandparents more than once. I felt so at home there, and it was obvious to me that Chris did as well, because he never once asked me when we were going home. He wanted for nothing while we were guests in the Cullen home. In fact, I worried that he'd never stop asking to go back once we left.

* * *

I stood outside Alice's door, eavesdropping on the two of them even though I knew full well Alice was aware of my presence. Edward and I had shared an afternoon together at a local farmer's market, and when we returned, Esme just smiled at us from the kitchen and pointed upstairs.

As I neared the room, I heard the two of them conversing.

"That's a huge doll, Alice!"

"It's actually a mannequin, Chris."

"Oh, right. Like at the mall," he replied happily.

I smiled.

"That's right!"

"But then why's it naked? Mannequins are for showing off clothes," my son asked innocently.

"That's true! I'm actually making something to put on her right now."

"Oh, cool!"

I heard Chris moving around the room, most likely inspecting all of the photographs, jewelry, and trinkets Alice had displayed on every available surface.

"You should make my mommy something to wear."

"That's exactly what I'm doing!" Alice explained.

"Really? Is it gonna be blue, because that's her favorite color," Chris asked sweetly.

"Hmm, well, I knew that, so I actually chose a red color. I thought she would like something different."

"Oh, yeah! Probably," he agreed politely, even though I detected a slight tinge of disappointment in his voice. It was beyond adorable.

"She looks pretty no matter what," he finally added after a moment of contemplation.

I bit my lip at how heartfelt and pure his devotion was.

The sewing machine stopped, and I could practically hear Alice's smile from my hiding spot before she answered.

"Oh, boy. This one's gonna break a lot of hearts."

Agreed.

* * *

The following morning, I was snuggled up with Edward on an absurdly comfortable couch, while Carlisle played a game with Chris in the next room. We were quiet as we listened to the two of them. I knew Carlisle was fishing for information on his own, and I was interested as to what he would ask.

"So, Chris, do you like school?"

"I love it!"

"That's great. What is your favorite subject? When I was a little boy, I thought science was the best," Carlisle offered.

Chris seemed to be thinking it over, because I heard nothing for a good ten seconds.

"I think math."

"Wow, really? That's wonderful. Math is very important," Carlisle responded with enthusiasm.

"Yuck," I whispered my opinion on the matter quietly so that only Edward could hear me. He chuckled from his position behind me, and I turned my head in time to receive a kiss to my cheek.

"That's what my teacher says, too," Chris replied.

"It's your turn, buddy. I got two matches, but I missed the last try," Carlisle prompted.

"K. Hmm, I don't know. This one…and…I _think_ this one," Chris' little voice trailed off until, "Aww, man! They don't match," he grumbled after a short pause.

"That's okay. You'll try again," Carlisle replied warmly.

"Thanks, Carwisle. You're really nice."

Carlisle must have ruffled Chris' hair in response, because Edward and I heard familiar giggles fill the room.

"K, try again," Carlisle said.

I felt Edward stiffen slightly, and I turned to look at him.

"I'm showing him which card to choose," he explained.

I stared wordlessly at the vampire in front of me.

"Grrr! Wrong again. I can't 'member where the other one is," we heard Chris complain.

Carlisle laughed lightly again, "That's okay, Chris. 'Memory' is a tricky game. It's supposed to be hard."

Edward exhaled, and I implored him to give me more information by sliding my hand into his hair and tilting my head.

"Nothing. He didn't hear me at all, Bella. Carlisle thinks he has to be looking at me for it to work," Edward explained.

"Makes sense," I whispered, thankful to learn that Chris' ability seemed very specific and limited to proximity. Right or not, I was relieved.

* * *

The night before we were to leave, I went searching the house for Chris after finding he'd left the den and the DVD I started for him only twenty minutes prior.

Most of the Cullens were in the kitchen, chatting and generally getting in Esme's way as she poured way too much effort into preparing a home cooked meal for only two people. Everyone was somewhat subdued with a sense of regret as night fell. I knew they were disappointed to see our time with them coming to an end. It was heartwarming and depressing all at the same time. Our plan was to leave early the next afternoon in order to get Chris home at a decent hour and into bed, so that he would return to school on Monday morning well-rested.

As I climbed the stairs and thought over the weekend, I was nothing but thankful for the assurance the entire trip provided. The Cullens belonged in our lives. Logically, I knew all kinds of hurdles existed, but being with them, even for such a short time, confirmed that the benefits more than outweighed the risks.

I thought maybe Chris had gone upstairs to use the restroom, even though there was one only a few doors down from the den. He was used to using the one between the bedrooms we'd been staying in, so it made sense that he'd go the distance, seeking the familiar.

"Chris?" I called, peeking into empty rooms as I passed them.

No answer.

I checked all of the bedrooms and bathrooms upstairs before heading back down. I passed the den on my way back to the kitchen, but he wasn't there. I knew he wasn't in the kitchen, because I'd left there to check on him in the first place.

"Where is he?" I asked myself quietly as I headed back to the kitchen to ask Edward. I kept calm only because I knew everything was okay; Edward would have known immediately if he was in any danger.

As I neared the foyer, a light coming from beneath the partially open door to the garage caught my attention. I paused and stepped closer.

"Are you married to Rosie?" I heard my baby ask happily from where he sat perched on a wide workbench. Emmett had undoubtedly placed him up there, because there was no way he managed to climb up on his own.

Emmett was leaning over an engine, wrench and cloth in hand and a huge smile on his face. I watched as Chris swung his legs back and forth.

"Yep. We are. I'm pretty lucky, huh?" Emmett replied as he turned and gave Chris a high five.

Chris laughed and nodded in innocent agreement.

Chris quieted as Emmett pointed out parts of the engine. He moved and plucked Chris from the bench, holding him up to look down at the impressive heap of machinery. I laughed lightly and watched in rapt fascination.

"My mom and dad aren't really married anymore," Chris said as Emmett deposited him back on the bench.

My breath hitched at the sudden exclamation which seemed so out of the blue. I turned to peek down the hallway and saw that Edward was now resting against the doorway to the kitchen. He was watching me intently, a soft smile on his face. I motioned to him that I was listening, and he nodded in understanding. I felt support rolling off of him.

"That's true. But, you know that doesn't change anything, right?" Emmett's tone was gentle but left little room for misunderstanding.

My heart swelled.

"Right."

"They're still mom and dad, and they love you all the same," Emmett replied seriously, dropping the wrench as he turned to face Chris.

I fell a little more in love with Emmett Cullen in that instant.

Chris nodded emphatically again and rested his little hands on the tops of his thighs.

"I know."

"That's good."

"Can people get married two times?" he asked after a minute, and I gasped slightly.

I was dumbfounded. They were logical questions, but I'd never heard anything like them from Chris, despite my attempts to get him to talk about it with me.

Emmett sat on a stool in front of the bench. I debated heading in to the garage to help Emmett out, but one glance back at Edward stopped me in my tracks. He shook his head gently and smiled warmly. I stayed where I was.

"Yes, they can. When grown-ups get married, they promise to be together forever, but sometimes it doesn't work out. And, if that happens, they can definitely choose to get married to someone else," Emmett began.

Chris was quiet, his stare on Emmett steadfast.

"And then it is forever?"

I caught a tiny smirk on Emmett's face as he shifted his head to peek at the door before returning his full attention to my son. He knew he had more than one as an audience.

"When they find the exact, perfect person for them, then yes, it's forever."

"The perfect person?"

"Well, I don't mean that they have to really be perfect. They can still make mistakes, have icky habits, make weird faces, smell a little," Emmett laughed as he made funny faces and pretended to pick his nose as he sniffed his underarms while burping.

Chris laughed hysterically and slapped his hands on his belly.

The kitchen quieted, and I knew they were all listening.

I cried.

Chris and Emmett's laughter quieted and Emmett continued, "They just have to find the perfect person for them. Someone who understands them and loves them no matter what."

Chris nodded again.

"Rosie is my perfect person."

"That's awesome."

"Yeah, I think so, too," Emmett agreed with a warm smile.

Chris was quiet for a minute, and Emmett did the perfect thing. He just sat there and waited in case there was another follow up question on its way.

I looked to Edward and wiped a tear from my cheek. He walked in my direction as I backed slightly away from the door. Neither of us spoke as he moved us further down the hallway and into Carlisle's study. I barely managed to utter his name before his lips were on mine. I moaned against his mouth and pressed my hands, palms open against his chest. He was comforting me with his lips and hands, and I was never more thankful for a partner who know when I just needed to be held. I felt his fingers brush against my cheek before he ghosted them down my arms and intertwined them with my own. I tilted my head to the side, leaning up on my toes, and deepened our kiss.

He met me move for move, giving as much as I could take while still keeping control.

"Bella," he whispered when I pulled away and kissed his cheek.

"Thank you."

"Anytime," he replied lightly, sarcasm evident in his voice, since he apparently didn't feel a thank you was necessary.

"Mommy!"

I slipped from his arms with a sigh and smiled brightly.

"Let's go," he smiled.

And, so we did. We rejoined the family in the kitchen, complete with Emmett and my son who seemed as content as ever. His smile only brightened when I bent to kiss his forehead and gently tickle his stomach.

"Hi, baby."

He looked at me and smiled, a twinkle in his eye, which I prayed every day would never disappear as he grew up.

"Hi, momma," he breathed through giggles as he tried to bat my hands away.

"Love you," I whispered as I pulled away and moved to help Esme with his plate.

Chris fought going to bed that night. He stayed up until almost 10:30. The reason why did not escape me. The Cullens were worth it.

* * *

We left for home only two hours later than we'd planned the next day, which was still pretty impressive considering how many hugs, goodbye's, and mini meltdowns we survived. None of the meltdowns were Chris'. He was great the whole day. He woke up cheerful, dressed in exactly what I laid out for him, and even ate all of his breakfast - banana slices included.

Alice, on the other hand, was a different story. She decided to revert back to being a toddler and practically stomped her feet in frustration when Edward told her she couldn't ride back with us. She planned to fix up the Cullen's house in Forks in the event that they wanted to visit at length, and she figured she could hitch a ride with us. It was obvious that she sought more time with me and Chris, and I found it incredibly endearing, but a part of me was also thankful when Edward decided on his own that he'd rather it just be the three of us for the drive.

I was making sure I had everything back in my suitcase when I heard him tell her 'no'.

"Why not, Edward? That's silly. You're going to make me drive a second car when you're going there anyway?"

"Run then," he quipped, and I blanched, getting a little angry for Alice myself at that flippant reply.

"Nice, Edward. You know I don't like traveling by foot by myself."

"Jasper will go with you," Edward replied smoothly.

"I know he will. I don't want him to. He'll be bored while I shop, and I'd rather not make him miserable. Just let me ride back with you guys."

"No, Alice."

"Edward Cullen, you are such an ass."

"I know, Alice."

"Oh, for crying out loud. Fine. I get it. You don't want me there," she mumbled, trying the pity route.

I had to hand it to her. She was good.

"Alice," his tone was different. He was falling for it. Such a man.

"It's not that. It's just that Chris has been pretty wound up the last few days, and we want him to relax, maybe even get a long nap in on the way back. I think we both know that won't happen with you sharing the backseat."

I paused in the middle of folding a sweatshirt. Something about how naturally Edward spoke in regards to Chris and what he wanted for him struck me. He sounded like a dad. He sounded like a man who knew exactly what was best for his child and didn't mind standing up for it. He sounded perfect.

I sat on the edge of the bed and listened as they finished their standoff.

"I see."

"Don't be upset with me, Al."

"I'm not. Honestly. I guess I just still miss her."

"I know. Trust me, I get it. I'm with her almost constantly, and it's barely enough."

"Ok, then. Well, that's good to know," Alice replied quietly.

"Oh, yeah?" Edward said with a chuckle.

"Yep. It reassures me that you'll be very understanding when I show up sometime this week to visit. Sometime EARLY this week," she finished.

I didn't hear Edward say anything back, and I assumed it was because Alice fled the hallway as soon as she'd stated her intentions, leaving him no time to argue.

He entered the room a second later confirming my suspicions. I arched a brow at him and huffed as I pulled the suitcase off the bed. It flopped to the ground with a loud thud.

"Is she going to let us leave?" I joked.

He studied me with a smirk.

"She's contemplating hiding Chris."

My eyes widened, and I laughed.

"She wouldn't."

Edward grabbed the suitcase and headed for the staircase.

"Hurry, Bella. There's no telling what she's capable of."

* * *

We were packed and backing down the driveway fifteen minutes later. Chris rambled constantly for the first two and a half hours of the trip before exhaustion won out, and his head lolled to the side as his eyes closed. I turned to watch him from my spot next to Edward. His little lips pursed as he slept, and his eyelashes fluttered against his cheeks. I smiled and leaned back to cover his legs with a blanket I always kept in the backseat.

I turned forward in my seat again and sighed. It was completely quiet in the car, and an incredible sense of peace settled over me as I basked in the silence. I turned to watch Edward as he drove. He smiled softly and reached his right hand over to hold mine for a moment before he returned his to the wheel. I reached over comfortably, running my fingers through the hair at the back of his neck. I rubbed at the muscles of his neck, feeling their incredible strength bunched under the surface of his skin. I had no idea if my rubbing was even a sensation he could register as pleasurable. I still had the intense urge to soothe him however I could. Josh always loved when I massaged his neck while we drove any distance. He'd practically lean his head over and beg for it until I gave in. It annoyed me.

Edward was the exact opposite. I would have gladly kept my hands on him until they didn't work anymore. He moaned appreciatively and turned to meet my stare.

"Love you," he whispered.

I smiled and lay my head back to rest against the seat as I stared at him.

"I love you, too."

I'm pretty sure I joined my son in sleep about two minutes later. The next thing I knew, Edward was waking me up with his fingers on my cheek.

I stirred in the seat and then realized the car was no longer moving.

"Hmm?"

"You're home, love. You slept almost two hours."

I yawned and stretched as much as my seat allowed, feeling the ache in my neck from its unnatural tilt. Yeah, it felt like two hours. Two Advils were going to be necessary…quickly.

"Wow," I mumbled, turning to find Chris smiling back brightly from the backseat.

"We were super quiet, mommy!"

"You were, huh?"

"Yep! We didn't even wake you up."

"Good job, buddy. Thank you."

"Come on, Chris. Let's go inside first, and then I'll grab the bags," Edward said as he exited the car. I sat there for a few seconds, gathering my wits before I opened the door and joined them on the porch. Edward was already opening the front door with his key when I reached him. He held the door open and allowed Chris to run passed him. He wrapped an arm around me and started to step inside, but I grabbed the sleeve of his sweater, stopping him in his tracks.

He turned and stared at me in question, a gentle look on his face.

"You said 'you're home'," I mumbled, realizing what I'd disliked about his comment but hadn't caught at the time.

Edward nodded and seemed confused.

I shook my head back and forth.

"We're home, Edward. We are home," I repeated.


End file.
